My boyfriend treats me like a little sister! What do I do?

[Anonymous]

First of all my boyfriend and I are both 20. Next semester he will be studying abroad and I don't know if we can stay together. When we first met, things were almost perfect, but now, it seems like the only thing he enjoys doing is making fun of me. I can't remember the last time he said anything complimentary/sweet/romantic to me. I never call him, he'll call me up and just frustrate me by being confusing and copying what I say, like a little kid! It's like he gets pleasure out of calling me up to bother me. I love hearing from him when he's being sweet, but he never is anymore. He already admitted to me that because of his work and going abroad, that we were "on the rocks" but he claimed he "wanted to try and fix it". I feel like I'm the only one trying.he's just goofing off like a 7-year-old! What do I do?

Updates

+1 y

I should point out that I've told him to stop many times, and once he even sincerely apologized in a long letter. But he still acts like a bully on the playground!

[bersaba]

I know it's 11months on, but I'll answer this for anyone else reading it in similar situation.

Guys when we're immature tend to 'insult' people as a sign of affection. I have no idea why, but at least from what I've seen (and friends I've spoken too) most of us seem to do it at one stage. My first crush, when I was like 9, I used to insult her pretty heavily. At a guess, it's so I hide my feelings because that's the manly thing to do. (Eventually I stopped and we ended up becoming good friends).

Moving on. being 20, maybe he's still got a bit of that. It could also be that he thinks you find it funny too.

My ex and I used to constantly jib each other. We'd (verbally) attack each other in all sorts of ways. I remember one time, we met up for lunch. She was dressed really nice and I was in casual clothes, and she commented that we looked like an odd pair. I said we looked like a prostitute and a john. She said I couldn't afford her if she was a prostitute, and I said that I could, I had $5.(Oh and if you're wondering, we're still friends despite breaking up, she didn't hate me).

Now, with us, we both did that and it was just part of how we talked and it was all done in humour. The flip side is though, I would also do random romantic things, most of which won't make sense without 2pages of descriptions why it was important.

Back to you and your question. Perhaps it's his maturity, perhaps he's hiding affection. Best bet? Ask him outright and confront him outright about how he's making you feel. Males are generally rubbish at picking up 'small hints'. Don't yell it at him, but as calmly as you can say that you miss being 'treated like a princess and that you don't like how he's negative all the time.'

After that, he can only either fix it, or show how little he cares for you and you can dump his ass.

[tom316]

I never call him, he'll call me up and just frustrate me by being confusing and copying what I say,It's like he gets pleasure out of calling me up to bother me. I love hearing from him when he's being sweet, but he never is anymore

wow, you really need to call him more often, and if that's the only way he can get a response from you then he'll do it

but he claimed he "wanted to try and fix it". I feel like I'm the only one trying

quite the opposite...he is waiting for you to change

[Anonymous]

it doesn't sound to me like he's trying to fix anything. aside from not treating you like his girlfriend, he isn't even treating you like a woman. he is being very immature and I don't believe he will change his ways for a while, maybe once he grows up in about 5-10 years, but do you really want to wait that long? if you've already asked him to stop, but he won't I'd tell him that you just need a break, it sounds like that's what he wants anyway. if you do take a break, one of two things will happen, he will either miss you and realise what a good thing he had or he will move on, but do you want to be with a man who childishly disrespects you all the time? just be prepared for the consequences if you choose this path.

[Asker]

What should I say to him though? I'm thinking a break might be the best thing, and he's already suggested it before, but he claims that he "really likes me and cares about me", which is why he's "trying to make this work"...

[Opinion Owner]

You should tell him the truth. coming up with an elaborate speech will not make it any easier, nor will it make him understand any better, men like for things to be clear and to the point. he already knows that you don't like him picking on you, yet he still does it. if he's already suggested a break, then he might still want one and is waiting for you to make the first move. even if he does care about you, it doesn't sound like he's trying to make it work if he isn't respecting your feelings.

[ALWAYSclassy]

Does he act like Spencer from the Hills? Because that's the picture I'm getting lol. If you've already told him to stop and have been clear with it, I guess you either should end it or learn to like it. I do not suggest putting up with it. I mean he's gonna be studying abroad anyway so you might as well end it now if he's not making an effort with his attitude.

[Asker]

I've never watched that show, but let's just say he's so annoying that sometimes I literally want to hit him.

[iminlovewithcam]

um, if you already told him to stop and he didnt, then this is more evidence that he doesn't respect you. how much more do you need? I know the "perfect" times you're talking about. I have them too. now you need to decide how much you can take, and if your willing to wait for him to grow up. message me if you wanna talk.

[Anonymous]

My 28 year old boyfriend does that to me all the time and I've told him to stop but he doesn't. That's just how guys are. But we both love and care for each other and that's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

hit him