Why do so many parents (particular mothers) try to brainwash their sons to kiss women’s asses?

[Anonymous]

You usually see fathers trying to raise their daughters to be tough and careful around men. To certain extent that’s definitely practical and good. But more of then not mother tried to raise her son to be “nice” to women.

This might of made sense back in the 50s back when women actually respected chivalry. But nowadays modern women more often than not see that as weakness and they reject and/or friendzone.

Updates

+1 y

My mother absolutely did this shit to me and was very controlling. I wouldn’t say she dominated my father but more often than not she got her way. It was an unhealthy.

Anyway I am grown man and am way too old to blame them for my problems. But it’s been tough over the years not too feel some deep anger for being brainwashed as a kid to be a “nice guy”.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, my mother also tried to do that shit. I think it's because she had a bad experience in her perspective with my father although from mine she was the problem-maker.

I also think lots of women can't really imagine things very realistically. So they imagine some ass-kissing type of guys and maybe they imagine Brad Pitt kissing their ass. Except Brad Kiss wouldn't kiss their ass. He has self-respect. That's more like Steve Urkel. So they're confusing their ideals with what can actually happen.

[Opinion Owner]

One thing I learned very quickly when my parents divorced is don't listen to 99% of women for dating advice, and especially not your mother.

[Opinion Owner]

And especially on how to be a man. Never ask women for that. I mean even when I was questioning that around puberty I was already taller and bigger than my mother. I could have crushed her hands, exploded her face with my hands, she's worthless for such advice. Only a man can give proper advice on how to be a man as I see it.

[IMuser]

"never ask a fish on advice for how to catch a fish. Ask a fisher"
Said by a wise man

[Asker]

As horrible as it sounds i sometimes wished my parents got divorced.

[IMuser]

Why?

[Opinion Owner]

I wish mine didn't. But I caught on quite quickly that my mother was unreliable for advice about how to be a man. So I turned to a lot of fiction such as action films. So I learned a lot from those and got the action side down. I became an adrenaline junkie doing the most dangerous stunts. But I still didn't learn the nuances of how to be a man, like deescalating conflicts, avoiding being a show-off, things of this nature. I'm still trying to learn that.

[Asker]

The huge problem is my mother was very beautiful. She had no shame in abusing her pretty privilege to persistently manipulate (and sometimes dominate) my father. She was even physically abusive to him.

My dad is definitely a hard working and above average guy. But he was no celebrity, CEO or sociopathic scumbag (all those guys can pull beautiful women easily). He is afraid of being alone and for good reason.

Anyway this was a extremely shitty role model to have growing up.

[Opinion Owner]

You know, I learned how to fight. I love fighting. But I never learned when I'm supposed to avoid fighting. I'm still of the opinion that a fistfight is the best way to resolve problems provided it's honorable, consensual. It is direct and honorable as I see it. But so many people these days think I'm a barbarian, and I have been thrown in jail far too many times for brawling. So I never learned absent father figure on how to avoid being a barbarian. I learned the best I could about how to be a man from action films.

[Asker]

@highlyvolatile i am a former pro mma fighter bro. I know what you are saying.

[Opinion Owner]

Cheers!

[Opinion Owner]

On your mother, I think we share a similar experience. She was worthless for advice from my stanpoint. Maybe I'm exaggerating but I really think if I followed hers, I would be some confused asskisser incel type.

[Asker]

I got to be honest though it has to be in controlled and honorable circumstances. I have only been in 4 or 5 street fights in my life. I feel if had more self respect it would of been over 20. I always panic but what could go wrong (jail time, seriously harming someone, other guy having a weapon, him getting a lucky punch, etc.). But if someone throws the first punch then all bets are off.

Anyway with women this is way more fucking tricky. I’ve gotten better at drawing the line over the years. But they always almost always just HAVE to test men.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm a bit of an alcoholic and so I've been in lots of fights but over the dumbest shit. Jail time was never that bad to me. I've been cleaning it up over the years. Most of that was in my 20s. Get over shitting in front of people with cameras pointed at you and it's not so bad. Free food.

I think I was lucky though that my mom is so short. She's only like 5 feet. So I outgrew her too fast. I think if she was like 6 feet tall I might be some incel faggot asskissing male feminist type.

[Opinion Owner]

But you know, with such a short mother, you quickly exceed the idea that you should do what she says out of fear. It's more like you do it out of pity.

[Asker]

Yeah I had a lot of anger myself. I was actually pretty good at mma in my prime. It felt good to get respect from not only other guys but other tough guys (veterans, ex cons, etc). As much as I hated myself being a “nice guy” i strangely made friends easily with the roughest guys. It was weird.

Anyway we are grown men. I can’t blame other people for our problems. But still I feel better getting that shit off my chest.

[Opinion Owner]

Cheers again! Yeah, same here. I seem to turn psycho though every time a Q brings up memories of my mother on this site. It might actually be the ultimate thing I need to fix because it brings out the rudest and crudest and most hostile side of me.

[Opinion Owner]

I never turned that hatred towards my mother on other women though. I love women. I just hate my mother.

[Opinion Owner]

Well hate is a weird word. I love my mother too. I just hate her as well.

[Asker]

Our mothers brought us into this world. They will always have our love and respect for giving us life. But I know what you are saying. Some women see their children as “property”.

Women will never understand what it’s like to be a man or vice versa. But still I just don’t get why don’t see the big picture of what they are doing. Also it’s an extremely underrated issue of what kind of impact a mother can have on her son. Something you never see feminists ever mentioning (they exclusively blame “toxic” fathers)

[Subarugirl]

You mean respect women?

[JayParris]

I understand what you're saying, but I think it goes beyond that. You don't coddle someone you respect, but I've seen more moms teach their sons to be servile toward women rather than having a healthy balance of respect for them and self-respect. But then, I also haven't met very many people who really understand what respect is.

[Subarugirl]

@JayParris I've seen more mother rise their daughters to be servile towards men than I have seen sons being raised to be servile towards women

[Asker]

@subarugirlT hat is absolutely NOT the experience I had growing up. Nowhere near it.

[JayParris]

Maybe moms just have a knack for teaching kids in general to be pushovers. I haven't paid much attention to how they raise daughters.

[Subarugirl]

well that was mine, and the experience of the majority of women I know.

[Asker]

I got a kid sister who was the homecoming queen. Very pretty. My dad, myself and my brother were extremely protective over her. I bought her 50000 volt taser for her freshman year in college. We all told her not to trust any guy.

Conversely I remember my father lecturing me “to never hit a woman” at 5 years old after I punched a girl in the stomach for bullying me. It was pounded into my head to always be nice to girls from childhood. Even when I was dating my mother would immediately take the woman’s side if i had trouble or worse she broke up with me. She even laughed at me a couple times a few times when I regrettably shared the disrespectful actions and words women said to me. I have never seen my mom get angry or defensive for my sake when a woman screwed me over.

That is my experience.