My stepdad stands at my bedroom door and listens in?

[Anonymous]

My mum has just told me to be careful what I do or say cause apparently she's seen my stepdad standing at my bedroom door, listening in. They've been together for a year and we all live together (my mum, brother, my stepdads kids and him), and to be fair, I find it hard to like him. He can treat my mum and us like real shit sometimes.

I am so freaked out. What kinda adult man, with kids of his own, listens into the bedroom of a 16yr old girl? God knows what I could be doing. What is he hoping to hear? It's creeping me the hell out and I don't know what to do. I do stuff (that kinda stuff) with my boyfriend, i do that stuff to myself and i do it with him on call. Along with the jokes i make to my boyfriend sometimes which can be very misinterpreted, and the private stuff i tell people in there. what the hell has he heard.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

I have several suggestions here that I think would be beneficial, especially if used together.

1. Lock your door at night & when your mother is not home. If you don't have a lock on the door, ask your mother if one can be installed.
2. Tell a mandatory reporter, such as your school counselor, a teacher that you feel comfortable telling, or your school security guard/police officer, about this behavior & how it makes you uncomfortable & nervous. This will establish an outlet for you & will allow someone who can actually help, do so.
3. Do your best to not be left alone with him.
4. Tell your best friend's parents, that way once the school season ends for breaks, you have people who you can go to to talk
5. Start journaling any behavior you find "odd". Time & Date these logs.
6. At the end of the day write about your day, try to be as detailed as possible about any & all uncomfortable feelings you had.
7. Ask your mom to set up outside counseling appointments to talk about this behavior.

While nothing may come of it, your mother has told you to be careful, but hasn't had any discussion with him about this behavior being unacceptable. The more people who know about this behavior, the better off YOU are in case this odd & abusive behavior escalates. Since your mom has told you, that means she's, hopefully, looking out for you and this behavior, but it also sounds like she has brought you into an abusive relationship & isn't sure how to proceed. Again, the more people who know, the better.
If your journals/logs are on your computer, ask your best friend if you can email them your journals & keep them in a separate file, just in case.

Do I sound like someone who is overly cautious? It's because I am, especially regarding behavior your stepfather is exhibiting. You can never be too careful in this regard.

Best of luck to you, hun.

[Asker]

Thank you, thats super helpful. He's now trying to tell my mum i've been sending nudes to my boyfriend which is creepy too.

[TransAm85]

You need to talk to someone, like a counselor. My Grandma remarried when my mom was a kid and my mother's stepfather did the same thing. She told me he used to get drunk and come in her room at night and touch her. She would run away a lot b/c of him. My Grandma didn't want to believe the accusations I guess so my mom just got pregnant young w/my older brother so she would have an excuse to leave and get married. This was back in the 70's though. You have to do something before he crosses the line even further. If ur mom is staying w/him just b/c of money security, there is help for single moms today. That is one reason my Grandma stayed w/the guy and didn't wna believe he was molesting my mom. Money. I hope you get help soon.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Dazed0N0Confused has very much nailed it.

While doing all this, keep an eye out for your mum, it sounds like she’s out of her depth with this.

The obvious thing would have been for her to end it and kick him out, that she did not means other stuff is at play, so look out for your mum as well.

[ChrisMaster69]

Thanks for MHG

[crmoore]

I highly suggest you keep your door locked at night, or when your mom isn't home.

[Whatever2929292]

He has no right to be treating you both like shit. Your mother should not let a evil person into your home with you and your siblings. I am not bashing your mother.

I don't why he just listens to you. Maybe he thinks you're up to something but I can understand being creeped out. Who knows what he is listening to but this sounds really really creepy.

You know if he is trying to be your dad and he heard something bad then you would think he would have said something to you or got you into trouble. But it does not seem that was the case.

I don't know but if you are creeped out you should trust your gut. You have been through a lot I can tell from your other questions you have asked. I think you know the red flags of a abuser and you already said he treats you like shit.

If he puts his hands on you, your mother, your siblings blood or by law you need to call the police. Spanking a child is one thing. But just putting his hands on someone is never okay. If you feel in danger call the police

[Daniela1982]

So you have things to hide? Either he is just nosy or thinks he is protecting you from bad influences.

[Asker]

He doesn't think he's protecting me, he's not that kinda stepdad. He doesn't care. But nosy could be an option. But even if i do have things to hide, my own mother wouldn't listen in, so why is he?

[SnakeBoop]

why hasn't you mum called him out on that shit? she's just as much a twat.

[tbradley]

soounds like he is a ass sorry but just being honest and my step dad use to do the same to me so i know what your going through there sucks when they do that

[bones_20]

So your mum witnessed this with her very own eyes and didn’t get rid of the creep?
Smh.

[Daniela1982]

He must have a big dick or she might.

[bones_20]

Lol. That’s probably the sad truth.

[RebeccaBI2000]

Sounds like you need to have music playing, so he can’t hear. Be careful for sure and anything you can do behind a locked door. Do. Even ask your mom for a lock.

[Anonymous]

What's he listening for? Does it not bother your mom? I'd be asking her wtf? She should find it "odd" also.

[Anonymous]

Your mom needs to tell him to stop immediately!! I don't blame you for being creeped out. How does he treat his own kids?

[Wise4myage]

That's creepy as hell, and she needs to say something.

[SpitSpan]

What is it that you do do?

[SignedAutographs]

And?