Do you think its rude to not say 'you're welcome' after someone thanks you?

[Still-alive]

Yes not saying that after someone thanks you is rude!

No it's not rude

I don't care either way

You'e welcome to not say 'you're welcome'

[HighlyVolatile]

I went with C. I hope not because I rarely say, "You're welcome." :-D It seems so formal to me.

I have this strange thing where I feel like formalities inhibit the ability to get to know each other; it might be a result of bouncing across cultures growing up as a kid. I wanted to cut through the formalities and talk to people in a more comfortable and relaxed way.

So if I feel the need to respond to a statement like, "thank you for [...]," I might say, "Cheers! No problem!" Something like that to keep a fun sort of vibe and banter going on. Maybe I'm just replacing one type of formality with another since my responses can still take on a routine note, yet I perceive such responses as warmer and friendlier and more fun than the formal ones like, "You're welcome."

[DonkeyDan]

It's nice when someone says it but it's not the end of the world if they don't.

[Cherry234]

I don't consider it rude and I don't always say it after someone thanks me. It wouldn't bother me if I thanked someone and that person didn't say you're welcome back. It doesn't really bother me if the person instead said "no problem" or "anytime" either. It's not something I make a big deal out of and don't find important. There are more important things going on in this world that I'm concerned about.

[Still-alive]

damn straight *nods*

[meetkitty123]

Yes It is rude... If the "thank you" was genuine... Then yes some form of acknowledgment is needed. It doesn't always have to be the words you're welcome it can be a nod a wave of the hand or other words such as "dont mention it" a "no problem" "my pleasure" its all good" or " its cool" etcNow if the thank you was done with spitefulness then forget it... Thats a different story.

[Still-alive]

For you because of your username ill say ‘purrr-fect’ meow

[meetkitty123]

🤭
Thank you

[Gigi2019]

This sort of rudeness is common during MSM newscasts. I've asked about this on social media years ago and someone said that the rudeness had to do with time constraints on superfluous jabber. Some news anchor will thank a guest profusely for appearing on broadcast segment and the guest will just smile faintly and look at them... nodding slightly sometimes.

[Gigi2019]

*on a broadcast segment

[CrazyGirl2]

Eh, no not really! When I think about it, there are plenty of thinks that a person can say after I thank them… no worries, don’t mention it, think nothing of it, not a problem, or it’s it’s just my job, are all things that when said, can all equally acknowledge that I have thanked them, and they appreciate be thanking them.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Lol I think about this too. I came up with a formula.

If they thank me and I felt I dint do anything really that I don't say.. because maybe they thank from habit OR not a deep reason. Literally as Spanish people say "de nada = of nothing" to mean you're welcome...

But if I did something meaningful, and I want them to know it's no problem, they are actually welcome to ask for help again then.. yes I they they tell them.

[DarkCarousel]

Sometimes I just nod or smile. Sometimes I do or say nothing. Sometimes I’ll hold back in my car or pretend to stop so no one has to hold a door or something because I don’t have the energy for interaction.

[Buntyp]

If you don't feel like saying it, you shouldn't. Formalized automatic responses can also be rude.

[Sour-rose]

Bruh, i'm sick of sayin' your welcome, just gtfo of my sight. yeah? Fk off already.

[rosemilk]

um... no. i've literally never thought about this in my life. not a lot of people say you're welcome after, in my experience.

[beebella]

It doesn't really bother me. I don't usually say it, I just go, "Mhmm." 😅

[NathanDavis]

I just nod and smile a bit, to acknowledge the gesture

[menina]

Well, I think it's best if you say "you're welcome" but if you don't it's not rude in my opinion.

[Biya21]

you can give smile or an emoji 🙂. it really depends on situation. we can't say sometimes without saying anything we can thanks them with our gestures. not everyone is expressive.

[Whatthefluff]

A little bit. It's like accepting a compliment. Just awkward to not say anything

[Harleigh90]

No. I actually feel rude saying you're welcome.

[Still-alive]

really? how come? :o

[Harleigh90]

@Still-alive Because when you do something out of goodwill a thank you is always enough. You can just stand back and see how appreciative they are, there's other words to use in conversation the 'you're welcome' almost implying a higher class, based on how their mindset is.

If it something like holding the door open to let someone in, then I'd probably say you're welcome. Depends on the situation I think

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm curious about how you further think since I might think in a somewhat similar way. I'm not sure that I would call it "rude" to say something as formal as, "You're welcome," but I associate it with being somewhat "cold" and maybe even "boring". Yet I'm not able to pinpoint why I feel this way.

I think a part of it is that I was raised in Japan to express the most formal types of etiquette -- the analogical equivalents of "please" here and "thank you" there and "you're welcome" here -- yet I befriended a variety of people including those not trained in such etiquette. I found those lacking such formalities to be no more or less bad in terms of their goodwill than those of us trained in this formal way while my parents and teachers would act as though they were of a lower quality ilk which I could not see.

I also found an ugly side of formality where it can occasionally act as a facade to mask what people truly people felt underneath fake smiles and formalities. Every now and then it feels like people trained in formal etiquette are choosing responses based on what they are expected to say in that situation rather than how they truly feel. I wanted to cut through that, and I might even possess a mischievous side now enjoying putting such people at slight unease (but with the hopes that we might achieve a friendlier form of banter once they get used to it).

[Harleigh90]

@HighlyVolatile Like yourself I'm unsure exactly why. I've work a lot with vulnerable people, understanding their way of thinking and how they process a simple term can have this domino effect.
For example a war vet who has dedicated his life for his country, after an injury his now lost his leg, flown home to start a new life a complete 360 to what he has always known. He now has to claim support to live, suffer daily with 'why me' thoughts anxiety, pstd. He goes to the supermarket to buy food, his money is short by a few pounds, some kind customer offers to pay, he says thank you. That person now replies 'you're welcome' this vet with his already weighting mental health obsorbs them words, hold onto them thinking 'why me' did he say you're welcome for fighting so long in a foreign country or to now being disabled.
A show of respect regardless of their situation, that customer who paid could simply say "have a good day sir"

It's a weird one. Hopefully that makes a little more sense

[HighlyVolatile]

That makes some sense to me and also the sort of feeling like, "Why thank me? I got as much out of this as you did", or, "You don't need to do that," are common thoughts I have.

One thing I noticed in some of your other posts is an affinity towards the arts and the creative side of the spectrum I might have in common. Mine tend to be expressed through drawing and music. But I think I yearn to be sort of experiment with social norms a little bit... just push the edges a bit here and there without going overboard.

So when I see people carefully choosing out gift cards (say Hallmark cards) with pictures drawn by other people, and words selected by other people, as ways to try to express what they genuinely feel... I cringe a little bit. It comes across to me like someone trying to choose their most genuine sentiments as though they can be related to browsing at a store among things other people have expressed.

There might be something of that angle in my case although many of my chosen responses like "Cheers!" might also be a bit routine and orthodox albeit informal. Yet I've always wanted to try to put an original spin when I could -- tailored more to the specific person and situation -- in ways that express a keener and more sincere observation when I could. I tend to favor that way with compliments (which I'm reluctant to provide, but when I do, I want to offer ones a bit more tailored to the person than "beautiful" or "smart" or something generic like this).

[HighlyVolatile]

* [...] But I think I yearn to [sort of] experiment with social norms a little bit...

[Guardian45]

Politesse is the grease of society, without it we fall apart!

[EnglishEuropean]

I don't know. I have ASD. I don't know how to interact socially. I'm the cat.

[douride2]

I don't care one way or the other.

[llorando]

I don't care either way.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

As as much as the other way around

[Dinosaursandanime65]

*not

[Aurora1010]

Not really

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Yup.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes it's rude

[skyeee_]

not really

[Jelitha]

Very rude

[flirtatiousgirl]

Nope