Does anyone have a childhood like me?

[flirtatiousgirl]

When I was a kid, we had a coal stove in our house. every once in a while there was a long skewer to stir that charcoal. once, my mom saw my brother playing a computer game and she beat me with a skewer she took out of the stove. cruel What I'm saying now also denies it. whereas it was my brother who was playing games, but I was the one who took the beating. my father would hang out with his alcoholic friends and would be home at 3 or 4 at night. Sometimes I think that these psychological problems in me come from the past. I tried to commit suicide twice but failed. I don't think everyone should have children. I wasn't loved because I was a girl. I suffered my brother's mistakes. Now they ask me do you have a brother I say no.
That stove was very hot. and skewer in the same way. Whenever I was beaten, I would pray to God. Now, while my friends hug and kiss their mothers, there is hatred and anger in my heart against the woman. While everyone is hugging their father, I am cold as ice. I killed both of them as children. Now I don't trust men. And if I get married in the future, I will have my uterus removed. because if I become a bad mother, I will be no different from that woman. my heart is so broken for everything and everyone

[Andres77]

Nope.
Not like you.
That's shyt.
I'm sorry.
Home and family are supposed to be safe and supportive.
I'm... did you just confess to murdering your parents?
Or is it something you did in your mind and now you have no part of them in your life?

[flirtatiousgirl]

they live. I killed them in my heart and mind

[Andres77]

Ok... you scared me.
I don't mean to belittle anything you've suffered.
Cruel parents, my mom had to deal with that but not me.
It's common in human nature that the abused can become the abuser.
My mom didn't.
That also suggests to you that you are not confined by the wickedness of your parents.
Again, I'm sorry that happened to you. You are awake and in control of your life... to a point but you don't have to be like your parents. Your experience might even make you an awesome parent.
Trauma still needs to be addressed.
I suffered as a kid from others and I needed help.
Leave your uterus alone. Get professional help... THEN decide with your partner if you want kids.
Truly, I hope you find what you need.
Big hugs.

[exitseven]

You had a really sad time growing up. I am sorry for that. You have your whole life ahead of you and under the right circumstances it can be a great life. I am usually the last person to suggest therapy but it may be a good idea for you to have some professional help.,
the fact that you recognize there is something going on with you is a good first step.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[dorksided1]

i came from a very abusive, neglectful, chaotic, traumatic background thats all i will say. but in the end im not them, i choose not to be like them. you are not them- your choices, the choices you make are yours. you are not your parents mistakes you find the strength and rise above it, has taken me decades but its a work in process, you can do

[Andres77]

Awesome response!

[dorksided1]

@Andres77 thank you

[Andres77]

👍👍👍
You're an impressive young woman.
You're drive to be the best possible "you" is a perfect example of a way to move forward after a difficult upbringing.

[nawtee_me]

You are not you mother, father or brother. Do not let their mistake define who you are. You do not have to be like them, you can be everything they were not.

[Xtendable]

Oh, my heart hurts for you. It really does. This was so difficult to read and while it may not help right now, I am so sorry you had to endure that pain, rejection and heartache

[talka20]

Pls check dm