My friend literally had this issue with his girlfriend who had no friends. He left her because she expected him to be her all and was very codependent.


Highly suspect.
But that isn't to say people with friends aren't also suspect. My ex fiancé really only had three friends: all obese white guys with dead end jobs (except the one whose house they gathered at), all they'd do was play games and entertain the conspiracy theorist among them.
If someone's friend group isn't varied (doesn't need to be large, but they can't all be basically copies of the person in question), that's a red flag to me.
It shouts "I lack life experience, have trouble connecting to views different from mine, and do not like expanding my comfort zone".
I should 😂. I always befriend people with no friends cause I feel sorry for them. I’ve done that since I was little and i never had any issues until I met the current “friend”. It’s definitely a red flag. Just cause she had no friends she thought I was supposed to be with her everyday. She’s very clingy and needs a man. She’s never had a man either.
Girrrrl🤣🤣🤣 I was literally that person to befriend and feel sorry for they asses. Then once u befriend them u find out off off they asses are and why they don't have friends. It's a major red flag. They be crazier than a mafucka 💀💀💀🤣🤣
For the most part no. However it depends what the reason is. Military veterans often have a hard time forming friendships because of us being so used to moving every few years. Many times it was easier to not have friends than to repeatedly make friends we would never see again as soon as we move somewhere or because those friends might end up dead so it is easier not to get attached. This habit gets very hard to break.
I do not worry so much if they have friends as long as they do not become codependent.
Honestly yes, I just don't understand how anyone can't have a single friend, you're not even trying at that point. My ex didn't have any friends and it was weird as hell, but I can see why she didn't now
Did you feel pressured into being her boyfriend and one of the girlfriends? Meaning having to listen to her drama or whatever?
Is that why she's your ex?
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LOL, says the person with Joe as a profile pic :D Alright.
There are people, like me, who just moved across the country from London to Scotland, also, I'm an immigrant as well.
Absolutely no friends here where I am now.
And it was very hard to make friends in London because it is a transit city, people come and go.
If someone think I am a weirdo because of that, whatever.
When I met someone in London who had no friends, I welcomed them and made sure to at least introduce them to a few other people, or take them to places so they can make some friends.
I used to have loads of friends, I had different groups of friends I drifted between, then when I realised how two faced and backstabbing they were I just went my separate ways, my friends list decreased and even further when I had my kids. Though I have people I talk to, I don't regard them as friends because my kids are my priority and they give me enough drama without mixing it with others. I get on well with all my workmates but hearing their personal drama for 12 hours each shift makes me glad they are workmates and not my friends.
I'd rather be by myself with my little family. Does that make me suspect not caring for other people's bullshit? I don't think so, I just outgrew people. We came into this world alone and we will die alone, that's how it is.
I've seen a few loners, that are just workaholics, they are so independent they refuse to rely on anyone and do their own thing all the time. They don't seem to mind either. Some don't want friends, others do but they are working too much to make time for them.
I see people with too many friends as more suspect. They tend to be more fake and materialistic. They will send you mass invites to every single event and you can't tell them to just stop because they can't tell the difference between you and 100 other people and keep sending them. So you have to reply all something disgusting for them to get the hint to leave you alone
Some of us just want to be alone and grow vegetables in our backyard. I had to leave my last girlfriend because she was too clingy and couldn't live a second without me despite having tons of friends. She was just too social for my tastes
No I don’t automatically make assumptions like that about people who don’t have friends. Just because they don’t have friends doesn’t mean they’re untrustworthy or unloyal. There are many reasons why someone wouldn’t have any friends. Even people who do have friends can be untrustworthy or unloyal. There are plenty of people who have friends and are shitty people. Don’t go around making generalizations about people you don’t know.
I don't have any preconceived ideas about anyone. I am more than capable of finding out for myself if someone is suspect, or just merely uncomfortable and untrusting of other people.
I certainly wouldn't discriminate against a person merely because they have no friends.
I'm curious about something. Based on the answers you've been given would you say most of us have friends or not?
@TommyMountainFigure I certainly have friends. I have two online friends on here that I'm close to and I have a friend from college I text from time to time. We text each other on holidays and he texted me on my birthday. I'm going to text him on his birthday. In fact I even texted him on Monday. I don't really hang out with people but I'm definitely not friendless.
@Cherry234 It's good you have friends. I'm pleased. but my question wasn't really aimed at anyone answering, it was meant for @uptowngirl88 as she appears to judge people based on their friends rather than who she meets, and that got me wondering if she was ever wrong, because of her preconceived bias against those who have or haven't any friends.
I personally have met many nice people who had no friends, and plenty of arsewipes that have loads. That was why I was curious.
@TommyMountainFigure Oh okay. I understand. I just wanted to share my thoughts since you asked this question.
@Cherry234 That's fine and I appreciate it.
@TommyMountainFigure I refuse to repeat myself. Read the entire post
I like lonewolves, not loners. Loners have no friends, can hardly get friends, and crave friendship. They’re a bit desperate. Lonewolves choose to walk alone for the most part and realize they are stronger alone. They trust very few and hardly risk allowing fake friends to drag them down. They stay focused on their goals without needing to depend on others support to get them there. So yea I more so distrust people who need friends and dont know how to be alone. Its fine to have friends (and i of course prefer temporary acquaintances) but if someone always needs friendship to survive in life, thats more scary to me. You dont need friends. Just good networking skills and motivation to achieve to your goals. I know what I like but To each its own.
It's not called "needing friends". Most people have friends either through association, college, similar interest etc. If a person doesn't have friends and distrust people that sounds like they have issues mentally and emotionally which most who are like that do. I'd steer clear of those people. And if the person only is capable of having acquaintances that's a red flag. Shows they aren't capable of carrying on healthy relationships
Nah Its all about knowing how to prioritize. I would never put friendship on the same level as relationships so that doesn't even compare to me but i hear you
Nah it's called being mentally and emotionally unstable. Normal people can carry on healthy relationships with people.
Which has nothing to do with "prioritizing ".
And one again, i can be healthy and cordial enough just having acquaintances. When i get tired of their presence, I’ll ask them to leave. Thats not mentally unstable but it probably shows my lack of commitment outside of being in a relationship. Im totally fine with that. Its clear you dont accept a lot of or opinions below and thats fine. But i feel how i feel and will stick to what I believe
I'm not trying to convince you or anyone of anything. You are who you are I'm not here to change that. My post was based on simple observation. But a lack of commitment does stem from deep issues. That's an instability something somewhere cause that individual to not have a healthy bond. That's a mental and emotional instability. If they're like this what abilities do they possess to even be able to sustain a healthy relationship or friendship . Friendships and relationships involve commitment. In no way is a person who only prefer acquaintances stable. That's why they prefer acquaintances because deep down inside they know something is wrong with them
-selves
No i prefer acquaintances because of past experiences. I try not to let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch but after lots of backstabbing friends and so on, i feel more at ease not letting anyone close enough to be a friend. I trust easily but the moment i am betrayed, i prefer to dispose of them. If i build a friendship with them, it becomes harder to detach when needed. So thats why i dont commit to friendships like i would with a romantic relationship. Good friends are hard to come by. Boyfriends are not. there's so many fish in the sea ya know
That's my point. There are deep routed issues that are unresolved from their past that spills over to an individual that tries to be friend someone like this. Because the individual is not healed /broken/ and wounded they affect those who are healthy trying to befriend them. As you can see me and pink2000 described similar experiences befriending people like this. This is an emotional/mental instability due to past trauma
My post wasn't to change anyone or poke fun. I added my experience with people who are like this. Now the nuttier than a fruit cake comment is because someone here befriended someone like this who ended up being a stalker
But i dont get how im not healed? Calling them out and Cutting them off was closure for me. I feel wiser because i choose more carefully who to hang around and for how long. Im just not a people person in general. Anything More than 2 hours a day with people would start to irk me. My Friends wanted to hangout daily and weekly. I hated that shit. Like legit. They couldve been the nicest person and i’d just get tired of being around them. Had we had more in common than maybe i wouldn't have felt that way but they were into more things that i wasn't. Its ok for them to have their own interests bt if im not interested in it, i dont wanna be around it
Because you're allowing those people from the past who hurt you affect your future. You're only wanting acquaintances because
"backstabbing ". So someone did something to you and you're allowing them to control your ability to connect in the future. As far as relationships. Men usually prefer women who have friends because it's less pressure on them as a man to be your everything. When you don't have friends more pressure is applied on the man to bear hearing all your issues, you under him 24/7, you just not having a life of your own, there's nothing really to desire or talk about. Unless he's controlling then he might like the fact u have no one else but him to rely on
But thats what im saying. I have a lifr. It just doesn't revolve around him nor “friends”. My ex and i made a rule to spend certain hours of the day together. Outside of that, it was all me time. I need the majority of the day to myself and to the things i like doing. Thats why i wouldn't live with someone til engagement. I dont really like giving up my personal space. So part of it is past friendships but overall i choose to live this way cause im happier and more stress free. My exes didn't have an issue with me being clingy. Because i wasn't. Im a planner so we agreed on certain times and that worked for me. Friends have a habit of popping up when they feel like it. I hate that and thats why they stand on my porch knocking and never get an answer. Guys im dating understand me in a way that people i befriend never could
I dont really know why it would be seen this way? Like, yeah maybe one or 2 people dont have friends cause of some dodgy reason. But generally speaking it could be for a number of reasons such as them leaving a toxic & draining friendship group to focus on themselves. Or it could even be like after leaving uni or high-school, where you kinda just never really talk to the people you used to be close with anymore, no reason for it. It just be that way.
I don't have real life friends anymore.
Some of the ones I had thought I was mad. Some outgrew me.
Others just squeezed me out the picture.
All my friends live outside of my local area and I keep in touch via email calls texts WhatsApp...
It does make me suspicious but in this day and age it's for my personal safety. People are so competitive and so nasty.
Some people only befriended me to know my business to see if it could help them.
Yes it is a flag, with the exception of major life changes like high school or college graduation or a family or job related move.
People that need ride or die friends and people who think they are too good to put effort into friendship (the unhealthy ideation of depressive introversion) are sus in my book.
You don't need many friends, but it's important to actively make plans occasionally and be able to have meaningful conversations that go below hobbies and small talk.
@uptowngirl88 If they have serious goals then no. If they don't have goals then that is where there may be a red flag.
@uptowngirl88 The problem isn't that they don't have friends. The problem is they don't have a life. They are waiting to attach to someone else's. Thus, that is why I mentioned the goals.
It depends, I have known two girls who don't have friends and they are horrible in person. Me, I currently don't have any close friends near me. My friends are over the country or other. I do make friends easily but don't keep them if they turn bad.
Last year my guy friends caught up in a fight. I handled the entire situation with the angry mob or police and took some punches myself protecting them but after everything was over they broke contact with me. Now if you don't know me you may think I don't have any friends.
Some people are just lonely. They don't want friends. People with autism are an example. Does that mean there is something wrong with them? Maybe yes, maybe not. Is a person who has tons of friends any better? No. Having friends is not directly related to been a mentally healthy person.
Of course someone with no friends is going to be a little rough around the edges. That's why if you're a good friend, you'll recognize that and help them out.
Someone did it for me when I was 14 and I'll do it for anyone who I come across.
It depends, maybe they have issues or maybe they're just really busy. As for me personally, I used to have more friends but I lost touch with all of them. I only have one close friend now, and I'd say it's because these days I'm busy with studies and generally I find it difficult to form a connection with the majority of people I come across.
I've got like 5 friends... kinda... sorta. We all do our own thing. Talk or text on the phone, that's about it. I take care of my family, that's all that matters to me.
I'm just the opposite. I have one single friend, and that is all I want. I have removed myself from this f**ked up world and I want no part of it. Everyone has drank either the Left Wing Kool-aid or the Right Wing Kool-aid and every damn last one of you are f**king nuts. I need for nothing and I want for nothing and I sure as hell don't need any more "friends."
I don't compromise my values for friends. I'd rather not have friends than to live the hedonistic sinful lifestyles you people willfully choose to live.
Nope. I'm more suspect of these with enormous friend group 😆
Not really, some people are just really focused on work or studies. It takes a bit of wisdom to realize that often no company is better than bad company.
Damn... so true.
I’m actually more suspicious of people with large friend groups lol. Usually the smaller the amount of friends, the higher quality of friends too. A person with no friends could just be somebody new in the area as well.
That would be quite ironic. I didn't have friends for a long time. Quality over quantity. I had a few but recently i moved back to Germany and currently i am starting over.
That's not the same as I'm describing here. You moved and had to start over. That's completely different
If that's how you wish to interpret it
Nah, they're probably cool tbh, people with a lot of friends are usually pretty fake. The less friends you have the more real and genuine you usually are
Nailed it
well… based on the experiences I’ve had and solely based on that… I agree with you hahaha. the loners I have dealt with were very psycho so I myself had to take distance.
BUT I’m sure that’s not the case for all of course hahaha
Not really I don’t really care for their personal lives.
I’d be judging people who have a lot of friends because that to me shows that they’re more of the attention seeking type or people pleasing type. It’s really just that.
Friends aren't as important as family, sure it's nice to have friends but family will almost always support you.
I had too many friends. But then I realized that the greatest happiness is loneliness. Girls are not like boys. my friends were plotting behind me like the women in the Ottoman palace. Solitude is best to have friends like that. I changed my phone number I changed my address
I have friends but not where I live. I stay home watching kids most the time so I don’t get out much and haven’t lived here for long so it hasn’t happened yet.
No. As adults for many and for me personally I just don't have time for friends nor do care about friends to begin with.
I have lets say no friends or people I can cal friens and no im nos a suspect of beign weird I simply dont have one that is why I dont socialize or hang out a lot
i am 42 with acute adhd and cptsd and am one lonly ass guy i think people should not hate some one or think they sus just cause they got no friends... i have none yet most i meet like my goof ball awakwared ass
That might not always be the case. That might be true sometimes but the other times, maybe they are super sensitive and get hurt by people easily and would just distance themselves and think they are better off alone.
But what about the people with friends who also have major issues? There goes your theory, lol.
Everyone has their own tale, some sad, some happy, some encouraging, some disenchanting. My point is instead of suspecting or judging the person with no friends, offer them an ear. Reminds me of To Kill a Mockingbird.
It really depends. I try to be open minded but the first red flag I see in that person and I'm out.
Prematurely abandoning someone for having no friends adds to the struggle. I have no friends. I want friends but can’t get them because I’m a living, constant red flag to the world and no one gives me a chance. Say what you want, facts are here.
No why would I. Also how do I know for a fact that someone had ZERO friends. That’s almost impossible
@Udierbr
Why?
True... I don't make friends.
I make enemies. I agreed with you people like you should very careful from me. Lol 😂
I think they are the smartest and most genuine people.
If you have no friends then you have no one trying to screw you other
Better someone with no friends than someone whose friends are all assholes.
I dont have a lot of friends because I partied too hard.
Coz i am that person whom you are talking about...
Do you find shy people suspicious? 😒
I never really have, but I do see your point.
No, I don't find them suspect
No friends at all yeah
Kinda
B, no not really.
Lol nope
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