Is it rare for a father to NOT defend his son if he's in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

My brother is a loveboming, lying, future faker. He was also cheating on his live-in girlfriend. They were together for 4 years and he kept lying about wanting kids.

My father found out about it and he thought my parents (esp dad) would lie for him. Since he told him he was going to visit our parents (an excuse for his cheating; he didn't think she would call the house), she called there. My father answered and shockingly didn't lie for him. He explained that my brother is lazy, hasn't visited them for many months, has gotten fired for 2 jobs before and has no plans for the future. Then he added ''I wouldn't be surprise if he cheats too.'' She told him about the $2,000 he owes her. My father's reply was an ''Omg, he's not going to pay you back. He never pays back.''

She has dumped him since and my brother is upset with dad. He believes my father as a man was suppose to lie for him, support him. My father's reply was an ''Wrong is wrong. I'm not covering up for liars''. Is this rare? The guy's own father isn't defending him... isn't on his favor. My dad actually has compassion for the girl that wasted 4 years, that got used.

Updates

+1 y

That's my father. He won't support someone that's in the wrong, not even if it was his child.

[Emiliamazing]

I think your father did the right thing. I know that my husband would not lie for any of our children at all, boys or girls. It is sad that your brother would even expect somebody to lie for him. I’m glad that your dad drew the line in the sand somewhere.

[ShakTreblat]

It shouldn’t be. Part of being a good parent is teaching kids to accept responsibility when they’re wrong. Defending them when they are wrong is just going to teach them that they can just call on mommy and daddy to bail them out of trouble and come to the rescue when they grow up.

[slatyb]

There is very rarely an obligation to lie for another. His father had the choice to tell her the truth or to stay out of it. He chose to tell her what he knew.

[Aerissa_Jade]

My father would not lie or defend the boys, if they were doing something bad.

There are fathers that will do that though, their sons could be rapists and they'll still try to find a way to make it look like they weren't that bad.

[sage2021]

Some people think their children can do no wrong and those are the ones that would lie for their kid. It all depends on if the father has any morals or not. He probably felt sorry for the girl and told her the truth about him.

[theothersider]

There is a saying that my father passed to me and that I pass on to my sons. "I would rather hear the ugly truth, than a pretty lie." So your father sounds like a man of integrity.

[Ghostluck]

Amen to that. My family believes in tough love. You make your bed, you lay in it. If my father were to defend me even if I were in the wrong, there is no telling what type of person I would have grown up to be. But since he let me fall and pick myself back up, I learned how to behave otherwise suffer the consequences. I thank every day that my father was not an enabler.

[whereismyjohnny]

That's called being a decent human being. Just like your dad said wrong is wrong, why would he defend him when he is doing something bad even if he is his son?

[whereismyjohnny]

Be proud of having dad like that ☺️

[JoyGirl]

What your dad did was good.

[KrakenAttackin]

The Father did the right thing.