Would you let a player back in your life as just a friend?

[Anonymous]

A guy played me and hurt me deeply. He wants back in my life, but just as a friend. I'm over the hurt, but how can I trust him as a person now. Not sure if the nice side of him Is the real him or a fake persona

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[Unknown_Swan_]

This is a tough question, with no definite answer.

It takes a lot of effort, reflection and self responsibility to become a better person. Maybe he has changed for the better, or maybe he has not? Who knows? I've known people like this that have either changed for the better or stayed the same. You can't live your life being overzealous, but you also can't live your life in paranoia over whether or not someone will betray you again or not.

The only person that can answer if he's genuinely changed is him, and that's if you let him back into your life. His actions and behavior will tell you what you need to know. Either way it's your choice. Personally if he's caused you that much hurt in the past, then don't reopen an already boarded up door.

Good luck and be careful.

[Asker]

Thank you for taking the time to give genuine detailed comment. It has helped a lot

[Unknown_Swan_]

It's no problem.
I hope this has helped you make a decision, or at least comforted you

[Asker]

It really has helped :)

[Unknown_Swan_]

I'm glad to hear it helped, and thank you for MHG :)

[Asker]

You're welcome

I considered what you said. I've chatted to him and can already see the signs of manipulation. So I think he is just playing me again

[Asker]

It's hurtful, because I've been a good friend to him. If only he was the person he pretends to be. It's sad that people can't really be the fake nice person they pretend d to be

[Unknown_Swan_]

I'm sorry to hear he's playing his old tune still.
You're doing the right thing by the sound of it if you're not letting him back into your life.
Sometimes you just have to protect your own emotional and mental health when it comes to people like this. If you don't then it can have consequences that affect your interactions and relationships with other people in your life.
Don't let this get you down, it's all part of the learning curve of life.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it

[Hrumf]

A player who wants back in your life after treating you badly and tries to get back in your life by being nice to you is just a manipulator and he will play you again.


A zebra doesn’t change its stripes.



Let him go and move on.

[SiberFox]

He'll just play you again, that's my opinion.