How do you get over the fact that one day you'll lose your parent (s)?

Question

Rania05 · Accepted Answer

My mom have this 'sorry for myself' moments since a certain funeral when I was still a child, she weeps to my sister and I to bury her properly and make a good funeral to her, invite a her huge family except my grandma's sisters and pray for her in the afterlife. The first time she said it I innocently told her to not worry and just die since I would sweep the weeds off her grave and talk to her a lot, literally "Don't worry, I wouldn't let a throne grow in your grave, so just die, mama!!!" 😅😅😅
She was bemused after a moment of shock and said "So you already killed me in your mind, little brat?" 🙂🙂🙂 *Dangerous momma smile*
I pouted, sulking on why she got annoyed when I promised her something good, and said proudly: "You will live for at about 30 to 40 years so don't pretend to be immortal, I'm not immature enough to not realize fairytales are lies!" 😣😣😣
Mom: "So you already decided my lifespan?"
Me: "Shouldn't be? Parents typically die before their children!! Don't worry mom, I'll get over it and live my life after shedding tears for you, I'll not do something stupid as suicide or going astray" "Learned from dramas* I was smiling sweetly by the end of my words.
Sis, poking my shoulder to get my attention, whispered to me: "Shut up! Mom isn't going to die!" Then she got emotional and began crying!
The furenal turned to a farce for the next quarter of hour because of this accident, everyone started crying!! 😭😭😭😭😭
My mom glared at me and I was still not getting what I did or say wrong! I was being a good girl reassuring her mom!

Then there's one time as a 13 years old, I dreamed my dad was told he got a strange rare disease that would get his life in a few days, not being able to accept it my dad ran away from home and I got into search for him and finally found him in a cafe he go to almost daily, I said "I knew you would be here, don't be sad, daddy. Instead of getting desperate why not enjoy the time you have left, there's so much you can do!" I kept comforting my gloomy dad and broke down in tears when he left.
Then I woke from my dream actually crying, I huddld in the head of my bed and cried silently for a long time in my room. Dizzy with crying and scared, I couldn't sleep again after waking up at around 5-6 AM so I tremblingly tipped in the computer searching for dreams' meaning (I just had to get some comfort and reassure myself to not wake up anyone or stay terrified) and it turn out dreaming about a loved one about to die means either he will move out to a better home or get a good job and my dad did change his job. I was relieved but the terror of about losing my dad in a dream remained for days and I clung to him much more than I usually do.

I can imagine either of them dying and think I can accept it eventually but the scenario still sting me to tears whenever I rarely think of it throughly 😨

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

Oh god, my parents are both very young so I never thought about it.. As in, it literally never crossed my mind! Then my mom got diagnosed with colon cancer. She’s okay now, it was caught unbelievably early and they removed everything and gave her a temporary colostomy.. Well yesterday she had the surgery reversed, and her colon was completely reconnected, and she is all back together, working normally, and (knock on wood) cancer free! I just hope I can go back to never thinking about their mortality again! Especially as they are both young healthy people (except for moms cancer)!

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

You don't get over it. You accept that it's unacceptable and will happen nontheless.

You make sure to use the time you still have with them to really get to know them and befriend them as people more than parents. Express love to them and try to understand why they ended up where they are.
You don't have to like their choices or who they turned out to be but everone should get to be heared and forgiven before they fade to black.

Wade12345 · Accepted Answer

Short answer: You don't.

My father died from brain cancer when he was 50 years old. I was 23 at the time. It sucked balls and to be honest I've never quite gotten over it. To make matters worse, my favorite cousin died in a construction accident 2 years earlier, so it was like a double whammy to me.

Kori1236 · Answer

My dads already passed away, and I’ve moved away from my mom (moved back after his passing for a couple years). Before I left I made sure things were easy for her. Easy to clean the house, her water is delivered, come winter I’ve paid a company to come clear her driveway during heavy snows, easier access to her hobbies and I have someone check on her regularly. So hopefully she’ll be okay. But as for preparations, there’s nothing I can do beyond keep in daily contact and tell her I love her often.

Emiliamazing · Answer

If you have a close relationship with your parents and aren’t sure how you’re going to deal with things for life when they have passed, probably just best to enjoy all the moments you can with them in the present. It’s something that’s probably on their mind as well, because every paren misses their child when they are not around. I know we will both turn into mush when all of our kids have moved out of our house, and we hope that they will miss us too :-).

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

I already lost my mom around the time I was 13. When my dad passes, I will still care but probably not as upset since its something that was already talked about. I guess the best way to deal with it is to plan, to prepare so you're not a mess when it happens.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Yeah it is tough. I lost my dad many years ago, and my mom earlier this year. I'm slowly adjusting to having lost my mom. My advice would be to spend the quality time with them that you can, however don't let it get you too down by the fact that they'll be gone one day. Enjoy having them while you can.

Jaysonava · Answer

That is a morbid thought. Mortality is an inevitable concern for all of us.

As a ten year old I entered a dark period briefly where I got really worried about my parents dying. I told my mother cause I had terrible anxiety.

My parents sent me to a one day school for creative children pursuing their own intellectual interests. I loved it. And it really made me a very happy young kid.

It's good that a s a kid, emotions and worries can enter you and leave you like water. I guess you have to figure this out as an adult.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

For me it's the reverse, my parents will most likely outlive me for a long time.

Something I don't have to really think about or worry about too much, barring some unexpected car accident or something.

I have asked them both how they know the fact that one day I'll be gone, and they have to live with me going first. They are very religious so they will be calm and say they'll meet me soon enough on the other side.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Well, it’s usually the grandparents that go first… so, that’s four funerals already, which teaches you a certain type of acceptance, I guess? I like to have a room full of pictures of the people no longer with us.

s10sleeper · Answer

You don’t, and even when they are on their deathbed, you are never actually ready for them to die. You will have to go through the grief stages and heal over time. All you can do is accept it. The day my dad died I had talked to him on the phone telling him I was coming to visit him in the hospital, and told him I loved him, which was rarely said in my family. 10 minutes after the call, I got a phone call that he died, it happened right after we got off the phone.

TenderFantasy · Answer

I just figured it's the natural course of life. Once you're an adult, you kinda HAVE to be more responsible with your life. You cannot rely on your parents all the time for stuff. I think ANY loss (for anyone you care for), hurts, not just parents.

-SV

melanieeeB · Answer

My biological father already died, but he didn't play any role in my life and I nearly lost my mom in December, I will say I'm already prepared to losing her and I was actually angry at her tho anyways I know I'm gonna lose her one day and we will see what happens then...

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dont think about it. I enjoy my mom while she's here.

AmandaYVR · Answer

You try to logistically and emotionally plan for it, but it is still a shock to the system when it happens. Doesn't feel real.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

By understanding that their time may be coming sooner or later and to instead make the most of the time they have while they are alive to have memories to share and reflect on.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Because I tell myself time doesn't stop. Most likely in 100 years. We'll all be dead. Everyone I know and love including me. So I turn to the words of Tolkien "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us". None of us know how long any of us got. So try to make the most of it. Smile, be happy, because you have today and tomorrow is never promised.

Luopio27 · Answer

Its inevidable, just like our time to go. I try not to think of the future, that far.

I guess what Im trying to say is that, everyone will live to face the tragedy, bury their parents or die before them and have their parents bury them. EVERYONE has to face that music sooner or later.

OldSchool_Metalhead · Answer

My dad almost died once in front of me in a freak moment. That really opened my eyes because in the moment I though he was dead. What matters is you spend as much time with them as your able to, and forgive one another for past mistakes

Millie845 · Answer

When I lost both my parents, I thought the world end. I never get over losing my parents, people told me that time is a healer. I have looked after my late mum for 18 years she had cancer and underlying health conditions. I have done end of life for her.

dustybiker · Answer

You can prepare. Doesn’t help. When it happens it reaches into parts of you that you don’t expect.

sheikalana · Answer

Well, it's going to be really hard for me to loose my mom one day. I still don't know how am I going to feel when I loose my father, I'm certainly going to be sad but not as sad as when I loose my mom.

Fireguy17 · Answer

It takes time, both my parents have pasted. It for me sucked. Your parents are always there. I worked right next to my dad for a long time, and he passed his skills on to me. I miss them every day.

Pinay_ako · Answer

I cannot get over it or even imagine it. My parents are my life. Can’t!

jshm2 · Answer

By picking the day and killing the first...  Seriously though, your worrying about them, isn't going to make them live longer. Cherish them, and look after then as they did you.

AviatorTom · Answer

Both of my parents died, first my father then my mother several years later. It was sad but I knew that they had led good lives, and the memory of my parents is still with me, years after they died.

Anonymous · Answer

Not constantly thinking about it. Also accepting that that's how things work, I love that they love how they're living their lives and that's what matters to me, that we are all together, ok and enjoying.

Blackcosmo · Answer

I don't like to think about it. I just want to make them proud and give them the life they dream of once I'm older.

DaveJord · Answer

You don't you just count yourself lucky that you haven't had to deal with it yet, and cherish the time you do have.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If you dwell on loss, you will enjoy nothing. Focus on what you have, and what you want to do, not what you may lose in the future or lost in the past.

Nikki1989 · Answer

My parents could be dead already for all I know. The last time I spoke to them was 15 years ago.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

It seems to me that parents and freedom don’t go together. I’m not a psychopath or sociopath but I wish they would leave me alone. It won’t be a horrible thing to me, as many friends, associates, and family members did pass away.

beebella · Answer

When they die, I'm obviously going to be heartbroken and devastated, but I'm not so close to my parents that I'm afraid of losing them.

h3ll02u · Answer

I think of this too. I wonder how I would handle it

EaterPeter · Answer

Not easy, I was in different state of mind when my dad passed away. Tho I have worried on and off of my parents passing away. To the level where I wanted to die first so I don't have to bury either of them.

Po1989 · Answer

I already had one die. It's both worse than you expect and not as bad as you expect at the same time. Which I guess all in all is to say it hits hard but it's a little different than you might imagine once it's real.

katiesmuff · Answer

It's just a very tough reality most everyone of us will face!

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Already lost mine so don't have to deal with it anymore I guess

Sour-rose · Answer

That we are immortal, so I'll see them again... and again... and again... and again and aga-

Anonymous · Answer

That's sad. I kno its gonna happen I just dont wana think about it. I mean my grandma is still running around and yea. It makes me sad to think about that kinda stuff. Itsa good question tho.

loveslongnails · Answer

It's called "life and death". You can't avoid it, so you just accept it and keep going.

bolverk · Answer

You never do, you just come to terms with that they are no longer there, you're allowed to miss them every day.

Sparkie460 · Answer

I've already lost my parents. My dad died in 2005 and my mom in 2016. It's been really hard getting over it

Beardedman1996 · Answer

I’ve had to go to 4 funerals in my life 2 of which was my mom and grandmother, you do move past and find something in your life that they would be proud of you for it just takes time

MissingAWoman · Answer

I don't know how I am going to deal with it. I dread that day will come. I am almost 28 and never had a girlfriend. I may be alone the rest of my life and grow old alone without a shoulder to cry on.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I want to make them proud. So they don't have to worry.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

It’s not a certainty. My mother died when she was 74 and her mother came to her funeral.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Enjoy the time you've got. Appreciate them for what they are and who they are. You'll never get another chance.

Anonymous · Answer

You believe that death exist I don’t  Therefor I don’t have any reason to cry when Someone I care about Dies.  Never care about anything so much that you cannot see it die.

PrinceEazy · Answer

Parents that has refused to take up to their responsibilities and to make the child feel love and wanted. Their deaths doesn't make any difference...

EndGame55 · Answer

Get over it? Hell I'm just hoping they go before I do. No parent should have to bury their children.

Juxtapose · Answer

Like my own death, I ignore it until the time comes.

Guardian45 · Answer

I. HAVEN'T!!! My father passed in 2014. And I'm TERRIFIED of the day my mother passes!

Gabo_Gonzo · Answer

... I dont... I literally have depression from things like this (and trauma💀😶)... so I just listen to music 🎶, u know... it calms me down😅

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Plan ahead and start saving for that party,

softhoney · Answer

I lost my dad last year and i still can’t process it until today

Agape93 · Answer

Fine by me

LexiXide · Answer

I force myself to stop thinking about it

Sarahplus2 · Answer

You appreciate the time you have with them now.

exitseven · Answer

I never thought about it until it happened.

alyssalations · Answer

i dont , i hope i die before them 💗

Ninania · Answer

That's easy when you hate them.

Joker_ · Answer

damn

How do you get over the fact that one day you'll lose your parent (s)?

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How do you handle losing a parent?

How do you get over the fact that one day you'll lose your parent (s)?

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How do you handle losing a parent?

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