How do I respond to this?

[Anonymous]

I'm a single parent to my 6 year old daughter. A work colleague said I was boring because I have no life because I don't go out drinking on a weekend.

I admit I do get lonely at times, and wish I had time for myself, but I don't have anyone to look after my daughter. So every weekend i plan places to take my daughter. I'm not in a position to have a life for myself. Her remarks have made me question how boring I am to be around.

[NamerOfStars]

Think of the typical weekend bar-goer. What kind of stories do THEY get from that? Oh, they do get some good ones; no doubt about that. But most of the time, it's "so I went to Mac's [or wherever] again and talked about football for seven hours"- not exactly thrilling stuff. By contrast, "so my daughter and I went to the zoo and learned about owls. Did you know they can turn their heads around to face straight backwards?" lets you share information that's actually informative, and generally more interesting, if less flashy than the kind of story that ends with "... so that's how we ended up mooning the Pope".

Most regular bar-goers tend to do just that, letting themselves fall into a rut (not all of them, of course, but it's QUITE common). Planning and carrying out things to amuse a child keeps from becoming the same. And while her age does limit you, more options will open up as she gets older.

This is on top of the fact that looking after your kid is about the best reason there is for limiting your actions.

[Asker]

Thanks so much. You're so right. When I think about the drunken stpries they tell in work, I'm happy I don't live that lifestyle

[Bluemax]

Planning places to take your daughter? That doesn't sound boring to me at all!

Look, boring is subjective. Some people consider learning about astronomy and geology boring. I do both those things. Fortunately, my wife and a few other women didn't find them boring. They had a different opinion about those subjects. I've little doubt that to some people, I am boring. But that's just their opinion. So I look to spend time with people who have a different opinion.

Do you like spending time with your daughter? Do you think she likes it? Then great! Find people who think likewise!

[Asker]

I love spending time with her. We have great times together.

Thank you for your opinion. You made some great points that I never thought about , so thanks again

[BullShark]

You don't need to respond with anything. What you do on the weekends isn't anyone's goddamn business, honestly. And besides, you're a parent no less and you have a reputation to keep, not only as a mother to your kid but also as a role model parent for other parents too. Coming home wasted every weekend or in the arms of some stranger would scar your child for life

[andreasderjuengere]

You don't need to respond.

Apparently, you and the guy have different visions for life. Nothing 'wrong' when each of you walks on your own path.

You do have options for a ''life for yourself''; and that does not mean that your daughter would be excluded from it. Use your imagination :)

[slatyb]

Your colleague is stupid and likely an alcoholic. Why would you care what they think?

[slatyb]

How to respond? “Have a good time. I can arrange my own social life.”

[Asker]

thank you

[exitseven]

You are being a responsible parent. Don't listen to these people.

[Wise4myage]

Tell that guy to mind his own damn business. You are doing the right thing.