How to stop feeling bad as an empath for saying NO and standing up for my needs?

[Anonymous]

People, especially parents have no limits or consideration for my time when telling me what to do.

I felt bad for saying no and my day got ruined because I kept on overthinking for saying NO.

They want me to be a big shot in life but at the same time won't let me focus on self development.

They will keep on bringing up things to distract me.

• I can't even have regular conversations with them as after few mins I'll be given a chore to do meanwhile all they do is play games, watch TV, tiktok and chat with friends on phone.
• Today was the last straw when I woke up early, was about to get fresh and meditate BUT my mom instantly told me to rush to grocery store.

I need to disappear for few months to succeed but everyday they give me some responsibility to help them even for the simplest tasks and I'm badly distracted.

They literally consume my morning, evenings and nights.

If they are idle and don't require my help then they start comparing me with everyone, tell me "you never do anything for us" and criticize me.

I'm raised by narcissist parents so please tell me how to stop feeling bad for saying NO.

This is not USA where we can just move out. I just graduated and need some time to be financially stable.

[UdosUNDERDEVELOPMENT]

I am not comfortable with that assignment seems to work. I mean if they insist then you can ask is my comfort not important to you? There are many ways to avoid something , some people are incredibly unaware of other peoples needs and comforts to the extent of enslaving them , oh and they have an arsenal of excuses to do so as well. So be careful , calm , pleasant , and good and eventually you will be able to avoid all types of people.

[slatyb]

Can you set a limited portion of the day when you are available to your parents ONLY, or accept responsibility for a limited set of tasks? I can do... but that's it.

[Asker]

Yes I told them unless it's an emergency. We already have maids to do the cooking, cleaning and laundry. They enjoy it but tell me to do their personal chores related to kitchen, to handle the dog, massage her hands and feets, manage finances, make supper or beverages.

[Asker]

If I keep doing their personal things that they're perfectly capable of doing then what the fuck am I gonna do for myself? I have books to read, museums to visit, write, develop my skills and then go for job after few days.

[slatyb]

"They tell me..." Perhaps you could make yourself unavailable? Do they respect a locked door? Could you just leave the house entirely?

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t feel bad. Just say no. Create some boundaries.

[justEric]

If you think the criticism for saying no is unfair, just say no and go on with your life, it's a part of your self development as important as others. The inability to say no takes away all the joy and meaning of saying yes

[Anonymous]

Learn to put very very low expectations on people. I always say I can count my total friends on one hand. Because the word "friend" means something to me. And most people simple won't make the cut of what I expect out of a friend.