How do I improve my life? Please give me advice?

[Anonymous]

I’m 27. I’m overweight because I let go of myself during the pandemic. I fell in love with this guy and since then my life has only been about him really, he keeps hurting me because he doesn’t feel the same, not because he’s a bad guy, but it’s like I’ve just abandoned myself completely and made him priority over myself instead. He’s not asking for my attention but I’m giving it because I guess I’ve become codependent on him.

It’s very likely I have Inattentive ADHD. I’m in the middle of getting a diagnosis now but I fully believe it and that explains my lack of motivation throughout life and low self esteem. I’m doing a degree and I hate learning and education as a whole but I want that degree, I want to be successful for once in my life and show I can do something, even though it’s so damn hard for me, I’m hating my time at uni.

I have one friend. I have no siblings. I grew up with dysfunctional parents. I’m just a disgrace and I don’t know how to improve it or what to do to pick myself up. I almost feel like a lost case that can’t be helped, I just want people in my life that I can have fun with, I want a good job that I worked for, I want to be happy when I look in the mirror, I want a man that loves me.

[aaron210419]

Take small steps, first of all it's unhealthy to make your life about another person. It almost always backfires. You need to find yourself again, pick up a hobby or find something that you enjoy that is strictly for you (this is not being selfish), and if you need to take a step back tell you boyfriend. I'm sure he'll understand that you're trying to break your codependency, it's not healthy to be together every second of the day.
Maybe if you're worried about your weight use the thing you do for yourself something that involves some kind of physical activity, that way you kill two birds with one stone.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope things work out for you. As someone with ADHD it's hard to get a routine started but if you really want it you'll pull through.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

First thing first you seriously need to get rid of that dude.

He's dead weight and doesn't have your best interest at heart if keeps hurting you.

You don't need people like that in your life at all.

You need people that support and lift you up, not tear you down.

As far as your weight is concerned, the steps are super easy believe it or not.

Get a gym membership and walk on the treadmill for about 10 minutes to warm up and run at 4.5 or 5.0 miles per hr as the screen will show your speed for about 5 minutes if you get tired at first then slow down the speed and walk then run again.

Running/jogging will burn a lot of fat and you will start to see results in about a month.

Do this at least 3 times a week.

[Anemone978]

Get on pills and fix your mental health first and all the rest will just come. I was obsessed with a guy like that for a year. Long story short it didn't work and he broke my heart. LOL

[Staximus]

Becoming dependent on stupid pills is not the answer

[Anemone978]

@Staximus So what do you suggest then?
I had major depression and anxiety couldn't talk to people and go out in public to be able to live a normal life. Now I am normal and I don't think stupid shit anymore. So without pills what should I have done? I would of been just staying in the house and probably just killed myself because therapy wasn't enough to fix it. It seems like she has anxiety so she should fix it you can always get off of pills once you get treated and fix the issues.

[Staximus]

Nobody gets off the pills

[Anemone978]

@Staximus Okay how do you know? Have you taken anything before?
And really even if you became dependent on it at least you can live a normal fulfilling life instead of being dead or going through life extremally miserable.

[Shamalien]

“I want this, I want that”

You want a lot but aren’t taking the steps necessary to achieve it. Focus on one thing and fix it. You are overweight? Alright. Run every morning and have a fruit smoothie for breakfast. For dinner something with protein but minimal carbs. 2 meals a day is enough. Pull strength out of nothing. It sounds hard but it will make you so powerful. Just WILL something into action. I promise you will feel amazing and once that ball is rolling it just gets easier and easier

[Summeroflove]

If you’re not happy with him and he isn’t supporting. Dump him. A lot of people make demands out of people to change for them. They want to be someone’s only priority but don’t prioritize them in return.

If you’re not happy with him. Dump him and find better. As far as uni goes. I know sometimes we have to go through stuff that sucks. But when it’s over you will be glad you did.

[coachTanthony]

A man needs to see you loving yourself first. I would start there and work on you until you are in a good space. Relationships don’t fix things only you can do that first then come with your best self.

[exopenguin]

There's a lot to unpack here.

But basically:
1. If you don't enjoy learning about the thing you're studying and can't see how it will practically help you in the future. I'd probably consider switching in some way... Cause you could be doing for the rest of your life...

2. You need a life outside of your boyfriend, find a hobby and do it fairly often maybe weekly. Join a sports club or a uni society. Something you will enjoy. It'll help the both of you. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Take B vitamin complex, don't eat flour, dairy and sugar, you will feel much better

[Anonymous]

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