I’ve been friends with her for over 6 years, and her ex boyfriend broke up with her prior to our meeting. So more than 6 years ago. I’m not kidding you, but every time we speak she has to bring up her ex and she vents and rants about him. I’ve been there for 6 years to listen to her and give advice, but she NEVER listens! Then she’ll come back to me and complain.
She has currently has a boyfriend of 3 years and still she tries to contact her ex. All she gets is ignored messages and calls. He literally doesn’t want anything to do with her, and I don’t know when she’ll realise this.
I’m at my absolute limit right now and want to tell her that I’m fed up of hearing about him. Our friendship is one sided as I’m the only who who listens and she talks. Even if I try to speak about another topic she has a skill of linking it back to her ex. Not to mention she calls me anytime she wants, at 3-4am while I’m asleep! She says it’s an emergency but it isn’t! She wants to vent about her ex and make me investigate him. I need help please, cause I’m loosing my mind!
Thank you.
She has currently has a boyfriend of 3 years and still she tries to contact her ex. All she gets is ignored messages and calls. He literally doesn’t want anything to do with her, and I don’t know when she’ll realise this.
I’m at my absolute limit right now and want to tell her that I’m fed up of hearing about him. Our friendship is one sided as I’m the only who who listens and she talks. Even if I try to speak about another topic she has a skill of linking it back to her ex. Not to mention she calls me anytime she wants, at 3-4am while I’m asleep! She says it’s an emergency but it isn’t! She wants to vent about her ex and make me investigate him. I need help please, cause I’m loosing my mind!
Thank you.
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Opinion
2Opinion
There's no way you're getting out of this without the possibility of her getting upset or hurting your friendship.
6 years is a long time she's been conditioned into using you as a sounding board for her boyfriend problems
There's two ways you could say it:
1. "Bitch, he's gone! Get over it!"
Or
2. "Every time I try to help you, you don't listen. So either listen to what I'm telling you and take my advice or stop talking to me about it"
I guess there's a 3rd option:
Ignore her ass when she's talking about it and be extremely unhelpful and vague in your response. "Uhuh" "Yep" "Gotcha" that kind of stuff
Better yet. Give me her name and number and I'll pretend to be her ex and make her get over me
Thank you for your advice!😊
I do like your last idea 😂😂, but I think I’ll save it for later if need be lol. I’ll go for option 2. It’s exactly what I’ve been wanting to tell her but couldn’t phrase it that well. Thank you!
Sure thing! Let me know if decide on option 4 lol
Distance. When she asks why suggest therapy for her needs and concerns regarding her ex because you listen and give advice but she doesn't take it.
Dont feel bad if she's offended. You arnt her therapist. she's just stuck on someone and needs professional help. Maybe you guys can come together once she mentally matures
I suggested therapy but she doesn’t have the finances atm to do so. So I’m the make shift therapist lol.
I will try distancing myself from her some more, hopefully she takes the hint.
Thank you for your advice 😊
Simple tell her move on with someone else ex in the past dont want hear it