My ex-friend wanted to be friends again but does not want anyone to know?

[Anonymous]

My ex-close friend and myself had a massive fight at the end of last year and he blocked me and unfriended me. So I went my own way and continued on. He messaged me 6 months later asking a question which lead to us talking about the past and whether we got over what happened.

He did say he moved on, and I did too. I asked him if he wanted to be friends but casual friends, as he hurt me very badly (e. g., spread bad rumours about me and my friends stopped talking to me). He said he did not care whether we were close or casual friends but had him agree to casual so there were no lines being crossed.

He asked to please keep our talk a secret because he did not want anyone knowing, as it was none of their business, however he added me back as a friend and went to change his name.

Firstly, did he actually want to go back to close friends? and finally, why would he go far to change his name on social media after adding me back as a friend?

Back then, a lot of people were in our business and wanted to know what was going on between us since we were close, so I understand why he does not want people to know we rekindled again, but I do not know why he would far to change his name, and mention close friends again after he hurt me so badly?

[Leapfrog00]

It sounds like a hard situation. Choices, am I right? lol. Honestly, I wouldn't do it. This is huge red flag for "If something goes wrong, this person isn't associated with you to take responsibility for their actions because they aren't 'Friends' with you."

My friend Maquela did the same thing, turned other people against me by telling them who knows what. These types of friends are NOT good people. They use people, step on whoever they want to get whatever they want, and leave you with all the pieces of the aftermath to clean up.

It's definitely a good thing that you are questioning this. I myself don't think good friends exist. There's too many people that care about "Me, me, me" and not enough selfless people.

Whatever decision you make, just ne careful, and think about what I said. TBH, if you're the good caring friend in the friendship, this person doesn't deserve your friendship or your time. Hope this helped. Sorry to be so blunt.

[Asker]

"they want to get whatever they want, and leave you with all the pieces of the aftermath" you are bringing me back to the PTSD of that friendship. He told me he did not care what happened, he just wanted to prove himself right, so he was very selfish. I think you are right

[Anonymous]

He was probably talking smack about you so he doesn’t want anyone knowing he befriended you again. My opinion? Keep that door closed, don’t give him another opportunity to shit on you.

[Asker]

Actually he did talk A LOT of shit about me! To other people, he actually made another account to chat to other people on as well. I do not know how often he chats on it, but I found it very suspicious. I do not mind him on a surface level, but when he mentioned close friends again I died, thinking, really. He did not realise how much he hurt me? Honestly!

He is staying at a safe distance as far as I am concerned. But I will never let him shit on me again

[Opinion Owner]

He’s just a fake, messy individual. Cordial is one thing, but I’m not sure why you’d want to be actual friends again with someone who’s done so much damage. Forgiving is fine, it’s healthy, but I wouldn’t go any deeper than that. There’s not even a chance at repairing what he broke, especially when he starts off on the wrong foot. Keeping you a secret? That’s a slap in the face, I wouldn’t bother.