I’m 15 weeks pregnant. Originally the baby dad wanted nothing to do with the baby up until 5 days ago. During this time where he was threatening me, being abusive to me and threatening to break into my house and Jill himself my mom booked a surprise scan for a gender reveal that I did not know about. 5 days ago he’s been stepping up and wanting to be in the baby’s life, but the scan was already booked for me my mom and my bestest friend, so I couldn’t really kick them out. It was a complete surprise, they said we were going for a meal and they took me to a scan place as they knew how desperate I was for a boy which I’m happily having. I tried to call him multiple times in the scan room to ask if he wanted to know as I couldn’t really tell him about it as I had no clue either. He didn’t answer his phone was off and I literally say the babies genitals on the scan and she revealed it’s a boy.
I said to him the situation and that this surprise scan was booked when he literally blocked me and despised the baby and he’s so angry at me saying I shouldn’t have known the gender and I should have waited until birth and that it’s not fair I didn’t tell him but I had NO clue and he’s only been in my life again the past 4 days? Am I the asshole here? It was a surprise I kept calling him, his phone was off as he’s at a party and now he’s calling me a slag and bitch and whore and stupid and slow stupid girl saying I’m a dickhead?
What do I do here am I the asshole? I’m begging for his forgiveness here. He called my mom stupid for not telling him about the scan but it’s been 4 days since he stepped up, she had no clue he meant business. Also we aren’t together.
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It sounds like you were put in a difficult situation and did your best to handle it given the circumstances. You had no control over when the gender reveal scan was booked and you tried to contact the baby's father to see if he wanted to know the gender, but he was unavailable. It's understandable that you wanted to share the news with your loved ones who were there to support you during what sounds like a challenging time.
It's not fair for the baby's father to call you derogatory names or blame you for something that was out of your control. It's also not fair for him to expect you to wait until birth to find out the gender, especially given his previous behavior towards you and the baby.
Moving forward, it's important for you to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of your baby. If the baby's father continues to be abusive or threatening towards you, it may be necessary to seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional. It's also important to establish clear boundaries and communicate your needs and expectations with the baby's father in a respectful and assertive manner.
In summary, based on the information you've provided, it doesn't sound like you are the asshole in this situation. You did your best to handle a difficult situation and it's not fair for the baby's father to blame you or be abusive towards you.
U are stupid for thinking he was going to not be abusive when he has shown thats what he is