When is it time to let go even after forgiveness?

[Anonymous]

Forgiveness is easy but letting go and figuring out if you should be around that person is another. For ex

I have a cousin who I went to school with. She did not want me to go to school with her in the beginning. She was very smart and she’s a pilot. I was not smart… All the teachers liked her and I was just avg. I always needed extra help in math.

I didn’t do well on my ACT and she said “you’re a failure” in a joking sort of tone.

even tho this was in high school those words stuck with me. Even tho I forgive her and understand that she’s ashamed of me… should I be with around someone who thinks of me like that?

[HelpMe06]

It’s completely up to you I think you could try and be around them to see if your cousin has changed since then, who knows your cousin might even apologise or shock you with how much has changed and if not at least you gave it a go and won’t have any what ifs about it. It’s also fine though to not be around them ever and just keep living your life and not have to be reminded of the past. Either option would be okay just go with what your heart or gut is telling you to do. There’s no timeline for moving on from an event it’s human nature unfortunately we can’t control what impacts us and we can’t control how long that impact lasts

[Asker]

I think she’s the same a bit but I don’t think she would say that to me at this age.

[Asker]

I do love my family but I have had some hurt from them in the past. All my cousins parents (my aunt/uncles) are still together. Growing up I was the only one with divorced parents. It was a bit painful bc I could tell the difference in treatment and I wasn’t really invited to any family events… then I had a cousin say “you aren’t really a “Johnson” …. (Which I am for sure… I just totally felt rejected. I still love them very much but part of me just feels so disconnected.