Do you find it harder to make friends as you grow older?

[coachTanthony]

[molonski2]

No , I dont think so , I think its mainly what young people consider " Friends " hindsight is easy , these people are not real friends , just part of your external network at the time , real friends are few , as you move though life you do become more selective , and your definitions change. Here in Thailand , you can meet whoever you like , but its more about your definitions , friends and associates evolve , and its constantly changing..

Its not along the lines of , I had 100 friends when I was 25 , and I have 3 at 62 years , those 100 at 25 were not real , just associates , I have seen few of them in last number of years.

[Leapfrog00]

I think once you reach a certain age, making friends doesn't happen anymore. People get married or they move away. I haven't had any friends in like 2 years. I'm a free-spirit though and people don't usually like to be around free-spirits.

There are benefits to not having friends though. You get more done, you don't have anyone telling you what you should do, no one comes to your house unannounced, and you don't have to worry about disappointing anyone.

Most people, it seems like you have to have something to offer them going into the friendship, so they are too demanding anyway.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Much, much harder. As you leave school and college, it gets harder to find people you can be friends with-

Especially if you don't have kids or a spouse, you will notice outside of work, it's harder to meet new people and make friends.
Schools forced us to interact and meet new people- and if you were lucky, they became your friends.

Yeah, I want to know how my fellow adults are making friends: and I mean REAL friends! Social media watches and followers don't count.

[mandyfire98]

It's less frequent then when I was in college but that's just because I'm not around as many people or social groups. I feel as you get older anyway your friend group just gets smaller. I think that's just part of life. Mainly people from work probably.

[DancingQueen16]

Yeah because when I was a lot younger I didn't really have trouble making friends but as I got older and developed social anxiety and started caring a lot about what people think of me it became harder to make new friends but when I joined theater in high school and college I made a few friends with people in my class

[AnusNdaPainus]

Well I’ve always had a naturally sad aura as if sorrow is my default emotion

and I think it draws people in because I always look like I’m about to aim for the bushes

[jennifer_bloom]

Making friends is easier because I have more confidence and social skills but emotionally bonding with people is more difficult because I have more limitations on who I bond with and what types of bonds I form with people and how deep.

[caitycat21]

Yeah but that’s mostly because I feel like quarantining during a crucial part of my development caused me to develop social anxiety which makes it really difficult to interact with people my age. I also used to be bullied in school a lot when I was younger so I guess a part of me sticks to online classes still since I just can’t stop associating school as a place that’s not a safe environment for me

[FunkyMonkee]

I guess you could say so. When I was a kid, I could just walk up to someone and start talking and the next thing you know, I've got a new friend! These days, I can't get friends if my life depended on it!! I've been COMPLETELY alone here for the past 2.5 years. Only about 3 visits from friends in all that time, and all of those only being about an hour or 3 long. Otherwise, there ain't SHIT going on, here!!

[electromagnetic]

No new friend x.
I’ve been friends with the same group of people since 2000. No new friends here.

[CrimsonAngel09]

Nope. I'm fine with the two I've known for nearly 20 years now.

[Anonymous]

This was under "resumes." So Coach, surrounded by this gut busting trash on the daily, what do you think? I'm hiding behind my 4 walls, and holding on for my fn sanity.👉

[coachTanthony]

He can pass a drug test lol

[Opinion Owner]

That is SERIOUSLY in doubt.☝️

[coachTanthony]

He has to be at least a sub sissy to be taken seriously lol

[exitseven]

Yes, it is hard to Make friends when you get older

[Sparkie460]

I find it much easier to make friends now that I'm older. I'm always talking to strangers no matter where I am

[DizzyDesii]

I find it harder to care for people as i grow older. So friendship is like the last thing on my mind. People want to be friends and i just can't give them that. Its not important to me

[Simslover92]

Yes it indeed is harder. If you don't mesh well with people at work then it makes it very hard to find the time to make friends outside of work especially if you're an introvert like I am.

[worldscolide]

No actually. But when I was younger I was very much a loner..

[ChiTown33]

Actually quite the opposite. I think because the older I get the less I care about others judgement of me. I know I'm worthy of anyone's friendship. And if they don't want to be my friend it's no sweat off my sack. 😂

[Drumlin2001]

Yes. Mostly due to a lack of time between work and kids and finding time with partner. I find it hard to keep I touch with old friends, let alone make many new ones.

[Ezra_lila]

Yes as I grow older my friends became fewer. I learn that less is good as long as it's true. Reality check always

[Fireguy17]

No, not at all.
The problem arises when you reach a certain age you start losing friends and you run out of people in your own age range.

[LiamJHayden]

Than as a child, definitely. Having from 25 to over 100 classmates from which to choose and 12 weeks of vacation from June to September had its advantages.

[Yannishka]

A little harder. There is less time, more working. And after work I just want to be at home.

[sheikalana]

Kind of. Because I don't have time for people's BS.

[DrKrieger]

You have less opportunity, but you have a stronger willingness. So, I'd say it's about the same

[Stressyalaire]

No and it's easier to cut them out of your life.

[SnowedIn]

Nope. It's easier.

[coachTanthony]

Do you have any advice for people who struggle with this?

[SnowedIn]

I'd offer several thoughts but not sure it falls into advice per se.

First, as you get older, you have more experiences. That provides more opportunities to connect.

Second, the older you get, the more you know what you do and don't like -- I believe that makes it easier to be a friend and identify who will click with you and so it's easier to start and nurture the friendships that will last.

Third, age can sometimes offer more developed communication skills which helps friendships.

And, finally, age brings confidence as well as an element of idgaf and so I'm not worried about validation and approval and so we can focus on being friends rather than something superfluous.

[coachTanthony]

First, as you get older, you have more experiences. That provides more opportunities to connect.

I think that is interesting and I would imagine many people saying the opposite. What experiences are you referring to? Maybe some just need some examples to jump start that process?

[SnowedIn]

You've worked at more jobs
You've met more people
You've driven more cars
You've traveled more
You've had more successes
You've had more setbacks
You've read more
You've seen more movies
You've eaten more
You've had a pet/sibling/parent/friend die
You've been injured more
etc., etc., etc.

And those experiences at a minimum give you more touch points to talk about and relate to and commiserate over.

[coachTanthony]

True so I guess some may not have these going for them in their life and if they do they aren't putting themselves in a position to talk and relate and commiserate over. Can't make friends if you stay home.

[SnowedIn]

Yep!

[CuriousScarlet]

Absolutely! Because by then and forgive my boldness, but you have grown enough balls to ask a lot of things lol!!

[Anpu23]

No I'm gregarious.

[Anonymous]

It’s never been my strong suite so I haven’t even tried in my adult years.

[Nikki1989]

No, it is much easier.

[DarkWinterNights]

Really? I haven’t made a new friend outside of my established friend groups in at least 10 years.

[Nikki1989]

@DarkWinterNights I meet new people every day at work. Ideally, your circle of friends should increase as you get older and not stay the same or shrink.

[legalboxers]

Yes. and I dont mind my 6 friends.

[BLP11520]

Actually yes I do

[Sdexam]

Yes. Much harder.

[Minahh]

I've always found it hard

[msc545]

I sure do!

[lightbulb27]

Yes yes

[Pinay_ako]

Not really.

[normandi]

It is not harder just I am very selective

[Jazzy54]

Yup. 😔