I met my ex when I was very young at 21 and he was 35 I know now but are relationship was very wrong. I'm now 26 and I see how manipulative he was now and put he bought my love.
I myself grew up I'm a damaged family, my dad was never in the picture and my mother wasn't great either so when a older man came around and spoilt me and showed interested I fell madly in love.
I soon moved in with him and his daughter who was 10 at the time. I was told her mother wasn't in the picture due to a drug addiction. I could really relate to her because of my own life experiences and I wanted to be the mother she had never had to her.
We got on amazingly and she was little mini me. I love her like she's mine own and I really care for her. She even calls me mum which is crazy to some people because she's taller then me now and we look around the same age because she's 15 now.
Her dad left me during covid, I found out he'd been cheating on me with surprise surprise a younger woman and now he's a born and Christian as well.
My exs daughter and I have been meeting up in secret, she's been telling her dad she's meeting up with friends. It all started when she came to my work, she wouldn't leave and started to cry when i asked her to go and my heart broke. She's my baby and I can't bare not to see her again.
My ex found out and said if I didn't leave her alone, he'd call the police and get a restraining order over her.
She tells me she hates life with her dad he's forcing his beliefs on to her and he's creeps out all her friends out so now none of her friends wants to come over and she's getting bullied at school. She keeps saying she wishes I could be her real mum and recently she asked if I could adopt her. I'm only 26 and I've had my best years taken away from me already it's a lot I will admit to be responsible for a 15 year old girl but I really do love her and I've thought about it a lot.
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This is a really tough situation. It's clear you truly care about her and want the best, but adopting a teen is a HUGE responsibility. A few thoughts:
- Her dad sounds controlling and you don't wanna make things worse by angering him more. Dude could really cause problems legally.
- At the same time, you gotta do right by her since he ain't. Still, all parental decisions gotta go through the courts so he can't lock you out completely.
- Maybe see a lawyer lowkey to find out your actual options before deciding fully? Could be ways to get guardianship or visitation rights without adoption.
- But I know you're still young yourself. Adoption means being her mom forreal, for years. You sure you're ready for all that comes with it?
- Has she talked to anyone else - teachers, relatives? Might be good for her to get counseling too through all this.
Tread careful luv. Do what you can to support her without it blowing up. Lawyer up quietly first before any big moves. Make sure you BOTH got a good plan in place. And keep your head up - you seem like you really care, just want what's best for ya both.
no no no.
one, she will soon be of age to make her own decisions.
two, you need the parent's consent for it so you wouldn't be able to in any case.
Your likelihood of winning custody, unless he is actually abusing her, are almost zero. You would end up spending a good chunk of money and probably lose. She will be free in a few years anyway.