I'm really struggling here and don't know how to handle this situation...
My husband and I have been together for nearly 10 years, married for 3, and his mother has been a yuck since I've known her. She likes to play the victim and often guilts my husband into doing what she wants. MIL never calls, texts, or reaches out to my husband in any way, but then turns around and gives him the third degree when she does see him (which is only because he sets it up). She says things like "wow, I've seen you twice in one week. When will I see you next, *insert random holiday*?" This has been happening for literal years and my husband has grown a bit tired and hurt of being the one to always reach out with no reciprocation. He's lucky if she picks up the phone when he calls or even calls him back.
This is made worse as MIL reaches out often to her other children and seems to take an active interest in their lives, but not my husband's.
As a side note: she tends to drag my family into it often. She seems to speculate that we spend every waking moment with my parents (we don't) which means we're "too busy" for her (we're not).
It's becoming tougher as my husband feels like it's his fault. He asks me why his mom doesn't seem to love him as much as his siblings. He racks his brain trying to figure out what he did wrong. I feel terrible because I see how much this hurts him and can't understand why a mother would treat her child that way. He's mentioned having a conversation with her to let her know how her comments and lack of communication make him feel, but we've discussed how we already know she won't react well; likely doubling down on her actions and blaming him. My husband is already no contact with his father and is fearful of losing the relationship with his mom as well.
How am I, as a supportive wife, meant to deal with this? We walk on eggshells when we see MIL and the tension is palpable. She's never happy and it's wearing on my husband...
