My child’s father said he wants to raise our daughter to fear him and I. Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

[ChicoFromThe305]

That actually depends what he means by that, cause it can easily be twisted to something toxic, the only way children listen to their parents is from fear of their parents, not love, children are too young to make rational decisions of a loving emotion, they are wreckless and make bad decisions, it's not very common for a obedience trait to form in children, normally they listen from fear, and fear can be very valid for dicispline if it's not turned abusive, so it depends what he means by it, notice he included you in there as well, which seems to me that he meant it in a dicipliatory manner, not abusive, I don't think he meant that he wanted to terrorize his children, he just wants to be feared so they think more when making decisions, the last thing you want is for your children to not have a fear for you because some fear means you'll get respect and they will think of you when making decisions, imagine your children not fearing you at all, that's how they grow to be completely wreckless disobedient and trouble making, I'm sure you've seen parents that get yelled, insulted and even hit by their children, that's because they have shown a terrible amount of weakness to their children and they don't fear or respect them, which backfires on them cause that's bad parenting so it depends.

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

Yes, you should. Fear is the basis of abusive parenting. To instill fear you have to psychologically manipulate the child in addition to enact physical/sexual abuse. The fear model of parenting does not work. It leads to children with trauma induced mental illness and familial dysfunction. You are going to have to choose your child over your husband here and put your foot down or leave him. If you can't leave him, surrender your child to foster care because it will be a million times better then his parenting plan.

[rosemilk]

yeah, that's enough of a red flag where you should definitely get a divorce or break up. i hope you have 100% full custody

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[Asker]

Why you even commenting on my post then? Boredom?

[EmmaMary]

Because it's complete and utter bollox.

[Asker]

You’re definitely not 30!

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Billlewis]

I've served several women who loved it when I feared their boyfriends, but I don't know if that's appropriate for a young daughter.

[aceleon]

one who doesn't beat his daughter will beat his lap.

if you don't raise your child especially daughter in enough dicipline you can expect every atrocity from them.

[Cutegirl06]

I would be very worried. He sounds like he could be a child abuser.

[Fireguy17]

yes, that does not sound normal at all.
I would be concerned about that.

[loveslongnails]

If that's true, you should have been worried a long time ago. You're going to have one fucked up kid.

[IslaTheWitch]

Kids should be raised in love not fear

[riverrat3]

Why would you want a daughter to fear you, respect yes, but not fear

[Astarlessnightsky]

Yes, thats toxic behaviour.

[exitseven]

That sounds pretty sick to me.

[Anonymous]

Damn, huge red flag. Run like hell.

[Flatmanlewis]

Yes. 100% yes.

[OddBeMe]

Yes. Thts worrying. Hopefully he was kidding.

[FenixG45]

VERY! RUN FAR AWAY! NOW!

[LazerBean]

Obviously

[Jmmmfi4]

ID SAY IT'S PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS