Online friend giving number after breakup?

[Anonymous]

Hi! I'm a overthinker, i know but this situation got me a bit confused so i wanted to come here to get opinions.

Okay, i had this friend that i met on a language app that had a party function where people can gather and talk. My friends used to do partys and i joined. That happened quite often and one day this guy joined and we seemed to get along quite alright.

Of course i was single (still am) at the time so i felt a little bit something for him but of course before being carried away, i decided to ask if he was single or dating. He answered me saying it was a bit complicated but didn't give detail so i figured i should not stick my nose, gave him space but kept being his friend. I tried to ignore and pretty much get over the connection i felt which i was pretty successful i would say.

We managed to stay friends and in time, as these parties and our 1:1 chats and calls (all in the app) continued, one day he spilled the tea saying he in fact was dating but was in a ldr and had hard times (fights etc) with his girlfriend. I felt sad bc he sounded pretty upset, i tried to assure as much as i could that things would be great in time. We didn't talk much about his girlfriend after that but once he was complaining how hard ldr is and he was craving psychical affection and fights were leading him to thinking of break up. It was sad to hear but nothing i could do. Rest in comment)

Updates

3 mo

And after months of time on the app, i had to stop using it for work related reasons. The other day, i saw his profile and sent him a friendly hey how are you message. We talked back and forth a bit, he told me they broke up with his girlfriend and today i saw a message from him, out of nowhere, without context giving me his phone number. "+11111 is my number, by the way :)"

Updates

3 mo

Remind you, we were friends for around 6 months and he never once even indicated switching apps which is okay for me. But this was pretty weird. So I'm confused of what his intentions are, am i taking it the wrong way or is he giving me a signal?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's a tricky situation. On one hand, it was cool of him to open up to you about his relationship problems as a friend. But now that things are over with his girlfriend, I'd be careful about getting too excited to pursue something.

Even if he gave you his number, there could still be lingering feelings or baggage from the breakup. He might just be looking for comfort from a friend right now, not necessarily ready to jump into anything serious. I'd say take it slow - keep chatting to catch up, but don't make any moves yet or read too much into the number exchange.

Let him do some healing first before seeing where his head is at. In the meantime, don't get your hopes up too high in case he's not over his ex. But you never know, once the dust settles maybe there could be potential. Just protect your heart and go with the flow for now without expectations. Hope this helps, luv! Let me know if you need any other advice.

[Asker]

This is such a well thought, amazing reply, thank you!

I wll definitely do that, i admit i got a little bit too excited at first bur it seems to be the best idea not to jump to conclusions. I texted him after i read this reply and he seemed pretty 'flirty' but after reading this comment i think he's actually just looking for comfort. Which is ok, i cared for him as a friend even without all of the romantic sides so yeah, again, thank you!!!

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome luv! I'm glad I could help give some perspective. Yeah, flirty texting right after a breakup is kind of a red flag that he might just be looking for some comfort/attention. Nothing wrong with that necessarily, but you don't want to get your hopes up if he's not really over his ex yet, you know?

Keep talking to him casual like friends for now and see how it goes. Maybe ask him some more about the breakup too, how he's feeling about it and all that. That way you can get a better read on where his head is at. Don't put too much pressure on anything happening either. Just let things flow naturally and see what happens. If he really likes you, he'll make it obvious once he's had some time to get over his ex.

But definitely don't cut off contact or anything, just stay chill. He probably just needs a friend right now. Who knows, maybe something more could happen down the road if you play it cool. Just don't stress too much and have fun chatting with him! I'm sure it'll all work out one way or another. Let me know if you have any other questions!

[rosemilk]

if he was having issues with a long distance relationship, are you in the same city as him? because if not, why would he want to get back into a long distance relationship?

it may just be friendly, who knows at this stage

[Asker]

No we're not, however, i don't even know if he remembers i will go to a country very close to him in march this year which we had talked before. But like i said, i don't even know if he remembers. And what you say seems perfectly reasonable so i will be just cautious

[laly520]

he wants to keep on being friends n stay in contact

[Asker]

Well yes that makes sense but we could still do that from the app, like we did for 6 months

[laly520]

probably he wants more contact outside of the app

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he wants some action

[Asker]

Ugh i really don't know anymore, i think I'll take it slow for now but still, thank you for the comment!