Is my friend a jerk for expecting us to split the bill?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, my friend and I went on a one week holiday abroad. Normally when we would travel in the past we would always each pay our share, whether it was for accommodation, restaurant visits etc.

I had taken out foreign currency to pay for my expenses on the holiday, whilst my friend had brought her card.

One of the nights we went out to eat, the restaurant’s card machine wasn’t working so I covered the whole bill by cash. At the time, my friend said she would cover dinner the next night.

The following night we went out for dinner at a different restaurant. I asked for the bill, expecting my friend was going to pay. She said “how are we going to do this?”, referring to us splitting the bill. I told her: “I thought you were going to pay tonight since I paid last night” She went ahead and paid. The amount I had paid the night before was even more expensive than what she ended up paying on this particular visit.

I’ll be honest it took me aback that she would even ask that question, considering the fact that I had paid the previous night and also had paid for some other cafe visits (totalling 40 something dollars) that I never asked to her pay.

Was she just playing stupid and trying to get us to split again? How would you have felt if your friend did that?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It seems very discourteous to me especially since she offered to pay for it in advance that she had to ask when the bill came.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I don't know if she is a jerk but this would be considered very poor etiquette here in Japan. Maybe she just wasn't taught very good etiquette.

[Asker]

Yeah exactly. I think she was just trying to see if I had either forgotten or that she could take advantage of me, saving herself some money in the process.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I had this cheapskate American boss one time. He kept insisting I join him at his favorite Thai restaurant for lunch while I was trying to politely refuse since I wanted to just grab something quick and continue working in the office. But I caved in and joined him.

Then he recommended all these things to order so I did. But then when the bill arrived, he wanted to split it! So I handed my credit card but they said they can't accept it. Then my boss still didn't offer to pay the bill and was like, "Well?" Then I had to walk to a gas station across the ride, go to ATM, take out money, then come back and pay the bill.

Horrifying etiquette! At least it is good that your friend paid but it seems very rude to me that she had to ask.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

* the road, sorry

[FunkyMonkee]

If you're just friends, why would one expect the other to pay?

[Asker]

Because I had covered the dinner bill the night before since she couldn’t pay her share. She had said she would cover dinner the following night.