How different are you from your friends?

Question

They say you are who you hang out with, but I was pretty different from my friends. When I started middle school, I was already deemed a hoe by association because the only people who welcomed me at this new school was the neighborhood hoe (which I didn’t know at the time) and different male athletes. I barely had a thing in common with the girl and I was not interested in football. Most we probably all shared in common was our taste in music and movies. But after she made a move on my boyfriend AND it became obvious that most of the football team was just tryna hit, I ventured off to a new set of friends.  
 
 With these new friends we had video games and the rep of being class clowns in common. My friend girls were girly af while I was tomboyish. My guy friends were submissive af while I was dominant. Yet they were all into smoking, drinking, and partying and could never get me to join in on that. By then, I was turned out by my first boyfriend so he had pressured me into public sex shit that my friends would’ve never agreed to.  College was the same way. We were all into different things but somehow friends. For the girls, I think we just liked the same type of guy and grouped together. For the guys, I think we just were overachievers and stuck together. A lot of my friends I didn't even like before we became friends so I don't know how we became friends. Maybe thats why its so easy to just refer to them as associates and acquintances now. Like maybe we were all outcasts who became friends out of convenience. I don't know but for some reason I just never valued friendships  #FeelFreeToList

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

My main circle that’s really lasted are my friends from my dorm my freshman year of college. It was just an epic journey in our lives that we experienced together, and that’s our common bond. We were friends by proximity. And the dynamic was weird on my end because half of them were all from the same town and knew each other already, so the rest of us were probably absorbed into that, because a couple of them, one especially, was very dynamic, so it seemed like this built-in thing you could just kind of sidle into and just add your own flavor, rather than everyone just being like “sooo…. where you from?” The party was already on, and they welcomed newcomers.

I’d say most of us are pretty funny people, or at least have generally good senses of humor and are lighthearted. To some degree or another, all of us like sports. Most of us are stoners, lmao.

But there’s a lot that’s different too. I don’t really know how to say it without sounding like a D-bag, but…. I’d say on a broad social level, I’m probably “cooler” than them. Most of them are varying degrees of dorky. They’re mostly “indoor kids”, haha, although a few of them can hoop (and I can’t), but they seem much more into computers and video games and all that. Most of them dress goofy as hell, lmfao, and I dress pretty well. They often joke about sending me over to get some random group of girls to come hang out with us.

I remember an off-campus neighbor of theirs who I would kick it with sometimes once said to me “you’re a cool guy, Steve. You don’t know any cool guys major or anything? These guys over here are kinda…”, and he basically was saying I could upgrade to a cooler friend group, which I thought was a lame thing to say. And I actually DID, a few years later my roommate and daily friend group were all on the school’s football team, some of them were pro prospects, and we were rockstars wherever we went (me by association, haha). And I rock with those guys still…. but they’re all hot dogs hot-dogging around in the world, I’m a regular Joe, living a regular life. Some of these dudes were in the NFL, I play beer league hockey and bum around around GAG, lmfao. We ain’t the same😂 So we’re cool, we hit each other up from time to time, but my freshman year buddies…. dorks or not, they’re rock solid. But a couple of them are crypto bros, one of them has been a 55 year old man since I met him 18, one is a hockey aspiring amateur stand-up comedian who can’t hold a job, one is normal as hell but just in that dad life, and the next coolest guy I could take somewhere public as a wingman is a misanthrope and won’t do a damn thing for anyone unless he wants to do it, lmao, he’s losing his hair and I think has resigned himself to a private minimalist life at home where he’s satisfied by himself doing whatever he wants to be doing at all times, rarely venturing out. These guys are a wild bunch😂 But when we all get together, it’s great times and big laughs, and we’re too damn old to be on some high school stuff, who’s “cool” or not, lmfao, it’s cringe just typing it to explain it. So those guys are the core crew, I’ll probably hang with them til we all die off👍 Definitely not who I would’ve drawn up for myself though, haha

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Accepted Answer

I'm all over the place as far as friends. They're from all over the world and tend to be varied wildly in interests and professions and well as ages (from 20s all the way to 70s).

The main thing we all have in common is that we do love to socialize, travel, party, go hiking, have a good time, and I think we tend to be the least cliquey and judgmental (why we're such a diverse group). The majority of us also take our professions very seriously (as varied as they are) despite loving a good party in our spare time.

If I use my photo from several years back (pre-pandemic), it's just a small sample of my friends from a reunion and it was mostly women who could attend (my friends are around 50% men and 50% women, but most of the men were busy with their careers and marriage and couldn't attend):

How different are you from your friends?

With the couple of Indian descent (they're Americans) on the left, the man is a film producer. He actually managed to work with Jessica Alba which I thought was awesome since I really liked Jessica Alba. His wife next to him is an optical researcher and a bit of a party girl, but she's toned down a lot in recent years after marriage. She's the one who introduced me to my wife at a picnic.

Then to the right is a real estate agent. She's a very reserved and mild-mannered woman but very bright. She's almost 20 years older than me and now in her 60s (this photo was from several years back so I think she was late 50s then). She's actually extremely wealthy and lives in Roppongi Hills.

To her right in the bunny ears is my wife. She's turned a bit red but she's one of those types who turns red just after one beer. She's a book publisher and editor by trade.

To my wife's right is my little sister. She's an English teacher now to Japanese students and lives in Japan, but at the time she was teaching English Literature to American students in high school.

Then it's me in the grey shirt. I'm a software dev by trade and a bit all over the place with my interests. I started out as the ultimate jock when I was younger and only an average student but I turned into more of a nerd in high school and started really turning my academic performance around to pursue my career.

Behind me to the right is a pharmacist. She's married to a super good-looking guy who's actually a male host (women pay for his company, although he doesn't have sex with them). I always wondered how she doesn't get jealous with his job.

To the right in the front is a flight attendant. She's over 10 years younger than me and quite a workaholic. She's very mild-mannered and doesn't drink very much but she's very kind and a bit on the shy side.

Them to the bottom left is a professional photographer. He's actually the one who took the wedding photos when my wife and I got married and flew all the way to Hawaii with us as both our photographer and close friend.

To his right is a kindergarten teacher. She's the bubbliest woman ever, always smiling and cheerful.

That's a small sample. It's even more varied than this. I just tend to love people in general so I love a variety.

Billlewis · Answer

My attitude towards women is exponentially different, because I'm only interested in a relationship in which all, or nearly all the focus is on her pleasure, comfort and satisfaction. Then again, that philosophy is different from most people's view of relationships.

Simslover92 · Answer

I sadly only have one friend besides my boyfriend (mostly due to two friends dying at an early age and others drifting apart due to a guy) who is my best friend and we're practically soul mates. We think a lot alike though I will say she's way more social than I am but she forces herself to be very social but she really hates being social where I don't give a shit what people think of how introverted I am. That's the main difference between us. Other than that, we're cut from the same cloth.

My boyfriend who was just a good friend at one point and I are different in a lot of ways. The main one being I feel he's a people pleaser to a certain extent where I don't give a shit what people think. He too, doesn't like to be social but forces himself to be social. He also doesn't believe in fate or soulmates or destiny. He believes that we chose our path and those decisions lead us down a certain path not fate. He's also not big on romance where I am. I'm a hopeless romantic. But I suspect it has a lot to do with his upbringing. He had a very rough upbringing where I didn't.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

We are all different... I have social anxiety, so my friendships are specific. I'm rather backed off; I observe from afar...

My best friend, whom I have known since primary school, is open and outgoing, expressing his opinions without hesitation. Macho type with enough ego for two cocky men, a huge heart, and witty humor.

My other best friend is a typical family man. Calm and collected, responsible and overprotective. He, fortunately, is happily married and has lately become a father, so I'm mostly out of reach of his overprotective tendencies :D

My other friends are bunch of great and colorful people...

NathanDavis · Answer

tricky question...

you see, I know my close and best friends very well, and I've known them for years, so I am aware of every difference as I am of every similarity, lol... so I could focus on either or point out both

but, I will point out the one thing that has actually made us great friends... whether is close or apart, whether is often or only from time to time... our bond has never ceased to be all the great it's always been and we're always catching up on one another

in most cases we moved apart, but we never grow apart, and that is amazing

molonski2 · Answer

OMG , extremely different , and always have been " friends " , I consider most acquaintances from all over the world , which is what you get here , I've always done my own thing , very rarely followed , so I think that's a bi- product , my thinking is youthful for the most part , plus I'm in good physical nick , I couldn't handle hanging around people my own age , I look at most of them ( not all , but most ) and cringe.

I think its a massive positive to be different , and never blindly follow , also I am one who is extremely comfortable with my own company too.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Not spending as many days in the bar as some do.

Not married, but in a relationship

Exercising more than most of them

Not a business owner

Achiever and goal chaser depending on what it is

Don't drink anymore, smoke or do drugs (weed)

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I was different from my friends as they liked to get high everyday/weekend and drink. I usually only got high once in a blue moon. They also were very promiscuous and I wasn't. We get along because we have very similar sense of humour and have fun together. When we were in high school they used to sleep over at my house on the weekend and get high and I would rent movies and get snacks.

RoseySarah · Answer

You become your friends and they will destroy you in time until your like them!

Seen so many good people destroyed by just one bad influence. That bad influence is always valued more then the good friends. Making them easily give into that person's purepressure

DJB72 · Answer

It's been a long time since I saw most of my friends. It's strange how it's sometimes difficult to move past a group of people even when that group has gone it's separate ways, some are even dead!

But yes, I've always been the odd one out. I never cared. If I wasn't expected to change to fit in and they had a DJB72 shaped hole I was ok to fill it.

exitseven · Answer

I am pretty different from them. We have a common bond in that we all lived in the same place. I have friends from the neighborhood I grew up in and also where my family went in the summer. I always hung out with the same kids ev ery summer. I went to college and went into an IT career. Most of them did not go to college and pursued different vocations. Some never got married and only two of us had kids. Sadly out of the original six, only 3 are still alive.

mandyfire98 · Answer

I share common things with all my friends but overall I'm a good bit different just based on I'm a lot more of a wild child and free Spirit and way more adventurous than most of my friends except my best friend/girlfriend and we are pretty much exactly alike personality wise.

Anpu23 · Answer

Most of my friends are actually business associates more than friends. I work with, for, and around virtually every one I hang out with save my family.

They say you're the sum of the 5 people you most hang out with. I certainly hope so. Ambitious and driven.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah me and you are kinda different.. 😂.. I seem to attract dudes that are semi hood or been through rough stuff ready to tell me about their story.. It's varied though.. This guy named Tim from the old job I considered a friend and we were somewhat similar, but also different.. It was actually a good mix and balance..

RHK36 · Answer

It varies ig. If I narrow it to my inner circle then we're pretty different except a couple things. We treat each other like siblings because we've been friends so long. So no kid gloves with open and honest communication. We're different in personality and backgrounds.

TrueConfection · Answer

Well, I don't vote democrat so there's that. Political discussions used to be considered impolite. I didn't even know the voting habits of my friends, just that we had similar values. That all changed in 2016.

kellytheman · Answer

Most of my guys are pretty similar liking sports and playing video games and most of were jocks in school. My girlfriends who are just friends are almost the same but are always give the girls personality to what they like that I like. And most of them don’t like video games.

Paul09 · Answer

I feel pretty unique. I dont know anyone that thinks like me, or has the same hobbies. I like to think outside the box. I'm weird too. And I love it.

lilyanony1 · Answer

Friends, ha. I have mostly online virtual friends. Were all very different but also very similar. Just normal and nice people.

Yahoo13 · Answer

I believe the 2 or 3 closest people to you hold lots of influence on behaviours and things. If they are too different to you could influence you to change to be more like them but it sometimes feels like a wrong piece of a puzzle trying to fit in. I have friends quite similar personalities to be or someone I admire that we clicked instantly and have remained close and dear friends. 😊

RavVid · Answer

Pretty different in the past but now in 2024 i have friends that are very similar. Had a narcissistic mom also

How different are you from your friends?

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