Is it normal for your friends to disappear? Only to return when they remember you exist?

[Anonymous]

I had friends from primary school that I kept in contact with until I was maybe 25. I would call and text, meet up with them and do a lot of different things that they suggested. But I realised that wasn't always being reciprocated, they never wanted to do anything I suggested, I always had to be the uncomfortable person, making excuses for their insensitive behaviour. Eventually I stopped calling as much, when those people called they would make plans only to cancel or say they will call to confirm only to not confirm important details... Eventually those friendships fizzled out just after my family member became ill, I didn't hear from them until the lock down. 2 of them tried to pressure me into contacting them. One other saw me tried to act like they didn't see me. Until I decided to speak to them, funny I think she thought I wanted to keep in contact but I just wanted her to understand that I was doing OK since she was the one that ghosted me for thinking I was beneath her after marrying some guy for money.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I thinking too deep something normal. Or is this basically because people were losing their jobs or had time to remember the people they stepped on...

[SanePlantHater]

Ugh, no one stays friends with their wee pals from primary school. How many in each class - maybe 30? Half of those girls. So 15 to choose from, and you choose maybe 5, so 1 in 3 odds.

So look at it this way - if you registered for a dating site and there were only 3 girls on it, and a guy contacted you to ask you out, would you feel in any way flattered? Well you shouldn’t, because it isn’t very flattering. And the chances of it turning into a relationship are slim-to-none because the dating pool was just too small to begin with. It’s a big world out there. We are forced together with these school ‘friends’ because of luck. Their parents HAPPEN to live in the same catchment area; we HAPPEN to have been born in the same 12-month period; we HAPPEN to be the same gender; we HAPPEN to be sitting together in class. Friendships are healthier when they’re chosen for valid reasons, like shared interests, morals and future ambitions. That’s not to say you wouldn’t develop any shared interests due to your similarity in age, gender and culture, nor that there is no merit in shared experiences, but mostly those friendships are not real, but of convenience. It’s convenient to have someone to sit beside at lunch etc.

[Alice2J]

Well I think they're FAKE FRIENDS ASF cause my friend will never ghost me and we've never make each other uncomfortable until the point of we're like sister to each other. This is the 8 year we've been together as best friend forever and I hope we will forever be together when we need each other we will always be there. Me and my friend is true friendship cause we been through the good and the bad together and no matter what we will never break over friendship cause we meant a lot to each other. As long as the friend is always there for you when you need them, that's true friend and they will never take you for granted because friend will never do that.

[Asker]

I hope your friends stick around. I see you're 15 so I can only say when life takes over maybe their career will get in the way but I just feel like as you said they are fake friends. 1 went on to study and acted like she was too educated for me. 2 was now too wealthy to be my friend since she married money (she was always broke)
3 he insulted me calling me a liability and humiliated me in front of a mutual Friend.
I accept that maybe I put more effort into them then them into me. So why would they care.

[Alice2J]

Yeah I still hope me and my friend will not break off but the good things is we are actually going to work together and live together once we're adult. And I hope one day you will meet your true friend cause god gave everyone of us a true friend. And maybe yours is not yet to come. I wish you to get the happiness you deserve 🤗

[Asker]

Thank you m. Good luck

[Fukaroo]

People are just weird these days. It's normal though and it's happening with me right now. At one time I cared a lot about it especially right after graduating. My problem is that I'm always the one who starts the conversation to hangout in the first place.

[Asker]

I don't think it's acceptable tbh. I needed them and they ditched me

[Fukaroo]

Right, seems like your problem is the perfect reason to give me a dislike. I was wholeheartedly honest with you. Now I realize that you must just be a terrible friend yourself. Don't blame me, blame the one's responsible. I wish I knew your name so I never read your questions again or give you the time of day.

[Asker]

You know I didn't mean to down vote you, that is a mistake. From my response surely you should have gauged the mistake. Whoa!

[Fukaroo]

Lmao okay

[Fukaroo]

Sorry

[Anonymous]

Yes pretty normal for people to disappear. Friends, family etc. just adjust accordingly and it will one day not bother you.

[Asker]

Maybe I'm just deluded but I found it to be an insult to my intelligence. Being told I was playing the victim, after one person insulted me on our last meet up calling me a liability and embarrassing me in front of a mutual friend. Only to come out the woodwork now

[Opinion Owner]

If they’re trying to come back it’s most likely a setup of some sort. It’s not anything good! Trust me! Be careful!

[Asker]

You're right! Thanks for the tip

[ZZed5]

Yes, there is no compulsion between sny relationship

[Silvius]

Yes, it is, you are not their center of the world

[Asker]

No one suggested I was the centre of their world. Its funny after being insulted by one friend calling me "Miss independent" I did call her more even invited her out to the cinema, but she was only interested in meeting if she could change those plans to do what she wanted even though I was the one that invited her out. So we didn't meet she made her self clear her way or no way so for me I went my way, independently. Can't be a bitch about differing wants and desires. But it seems I must accept I'm not the centre of their world but they can bitch about me for actively going after things for myself, instead of marrying into money? OK!

[Silvius]

Everyone has interests, the past is useless now.

[Asker]

This wasn't the past 3 people have contacted me recently