Should I Focus On Becoming A Mommy OR Focus On My Studies/Career?

[Secret6620]

Background: My life has done a complete 360° since God put me in time out to heal for the last three years. I have ignited new passions and rekindled old passions during my journey.

I now have the privilege of pursuing higher education or taking time off to start a family. I am undecided. I feel like the only thing I TRULY want for my life is to be a mommy but the world has sooooo much more to offer through education.

There are many opportunities that have been presented to me that makes the idea of holding off on children more appealing even if I'd prefer to have a baby now. There is also fear in becoming a first-time new mommy. It's a lot of work and I would most likely be doing all the domestic labor by myself or with a nanny.

*Sighs*

There's a lot to consider. If you are currently a parent, I really want to hear from you. All opinions are welcome of course. So should I take a break from schooling and focus on becoming a mommy or finish my Master's and Ph. D program then settle down with baby?

I've included a poll to make things easier if you don't feel like writing. I enjoy reading what you all have to say though.

Settle Down With Baby, Take Break From Studies

Focus On Your Studies For Now, Baby After Master's Degree

Neither, Focus On Healing

Something Else... Please Let Me Explain

Updates

8 d

🤓 Thank you guys so much for voting on the poll! I think the majority thinks kids should wait. Education first. But not too long though because of biological timing.🤱

Updates

4 d

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLHVaCXQ/ here's a link to the influencer above. She deserves ALL the recognition for her content. I do not profit financially from this content nor do I own it. Make sure to like and support your favorite creators!

[Dargil]

If I were your brother advising, , I would want to know more about your academic/career objectives and about your desire for motherhood. Either can be combined with "healing". If you accepted "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome" , you can do it with either plan.

These are quotes from a grunt with whom I share common blood. Some apply to you and some are just good advice.
https://www.azquotes.com/author/11404-George_S_Patton#google_vignette

[Secret6620]

This was fantastic advice! Thank you so much

[Dargil]

When I was in, I wish I had balls of steel like him.

[Secret6620]

Giggles 🤭😁

[Mr_twoface]

Some things to consider, just cause your still young, doesn’t mean you can become pregnant anytime soon. Have friends in their mid-20s who underwent IVF etc. to have a baby and finally adopted one. Another thing to consider is your finance and whether your government gives incentives/allowances for becoming a mum and having a child. Studies you can always do study part-time whilst being a mum or some years after. It’s never too late to enhance your career.

[Secret6620]

These are really good ideas 💡! Thank you for your help

[Mr_twoface]

Glad I good help! Hope no matter what you choose, it works out well for you, and all your dreams do come true!

[LazerBean]

It just depends on if you're married or not. If you aren't married, then you should not be focusing on having children.

[Secret6620]

Yes! I am happily married. 💍

[LazerBean]

Congratulations! I would, personally, give up the career and focus on being a mother 😊

[EmmaMary]

@Secret6620

Darling, only you know the true answer to this. ❤

[Secret6620]

I am unsure. I am hoping some opinions can help me lean in one direction moreso than the other.

I want both but not simultaneously. I know my limits and parenthood isn't a joke. I do not want to mess it up.

I don't know, I guess my heart feels heavy.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[mstbooblover]

Actually no one can answer that question in your place. You're the only one able to figure out what your deepest desire is, still keeping in mind that there may be a time to study before becoming a mother.

[Secret6620]

Thank you so much for your help!

[Wiredone]

Does your husband want a child right now? I think you should focus on your career. If you don't do it now, you will never finish your schooling

[Secret6620]

He hasn't wanted children but lately he's been behaving as if that has changed. But he already denied me so I just focused on my studies instead. It's very wishy washy.

[Wiredone]

How long have you been married

[Secret6620]

Since I came of age.

[dudeinohio]

I do not know what you are healing from... but.

Finish your PhD. Education first and get a career stable to afford the baby. Once stable, then you can go on to have kids.

[Secret6620]

I am financial stable. I am blessed without the burden of bills. Everything is paid for, all I have to do is ask.

My education is mostly for myself. I am working on a dissertation that I believe can bring peace on earth and break generational curses.

🎥I have a vision of a real Utopian Society with the help of authors like Thomas More who coined the term. The word Utopia literally translates to "No Where". Utopian rhetoric has never been about the perfect society, but instead it suggests a 'just' society with ALL property held in common. There are no ranks. There is only God and his children. ✝️

🧚‍♀️Just imagine it, no more pain, no more trauma, no more suffering, just love and light as we live our short 100 years on earth in euphoric bliss. ✨

Makes my heart flutter. 🦋

[dudeinohio]

Yes... I say go for your degrees and follow your dreams!

[Secret6620]

Yay! 😁😍

[Massageman]

You can still attend school while you are pregnant. With so many remote ed options, this should easier than ever.

[Secret6620]

That makes a lot of sense! Thank you

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Settle down and have a baby, they are the most precious human beings.

[Secret6620]

Yes they are!!! Gosh I want one so bad!!! But I just want the timing to be perfect 🥰

[OtterMan68]

Career first then mommy. It's easier to do it that way, then finding you have start a career after you became a mommy.

[GoodgirlNatalie]

@OtterMan68 God will punish you

[Secret6620]

VERY good point! At least if I get the education first then there are no distractions to being a mommy.

[Surely]

Ultimately, whatever you decide. You will have to live with your choice. Not for anyone else to tell you what you should do.

[Secret6620]

Yes I understand. But guidance would be most helpful. Especially from parents or grandparents.

[Surely]

@Secret6620. Since I am neither. I will stand with what I already said. I never pictured myself as a father figure.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure "Brad" will give its two cents.

[Secret6620]

😂😂😂😂😂

[DextroShade]

You have a very limited time to reproduce, but you can get a degree at any age.

[Secret6620]

This is a very true statement, thank you!

[Likes2drive]

It’s good to get them out of the way when you’re young if you can do it financially

[Secret6620]

I am not receiving my education for monetary gain by the grace of God. It's for spiritual enlightenment.✝️

Finances aside, what would you advise?

[Likes2drive]

It’s definitely better to have children when younger

[Twalli]

You have time for both, but you shouldn't sacrifice yourself for either.

[Secret6620]

That makes sense! My dilemma lies not with time but with energy. Time is of the essence of course but I'm torn between two paths.

Thank you for your help!

[4ngelic]

do both at the same time

[Secret6620]

Gotcha! Thank you for your help

[bobby_bush_eater]

You can do both.

[Secret6620]

That is very true! I would have no free time though

[bobby_bush_eater]

@Secret6620 find the right program that allows you to do both. I did my bachelor's online doing 4 semesters year round while working full time in the military. Obviously not the same as raising a child but it's definitely doable if you have the support system from your family (and partner) around you

[Secret6620]

Very true! I have much to consider. Thank you for your help

[soe11]

I would say study motherhood side by side.

[Secret6620]

How so?

[soe11]

Time management.
Part time study.
Or keep nanny.
Can be done, if there is will.

[Secret6620]

Oh you mean do everything all together. That makes sense but my current problem is that I am experiencing fatigue and exhaustion just from studies. I don't want that kind of stress while pregnant. It will affect its development in a negative way.

[Secret6620]

And I will have a Nanny but I won't need one. I plan to be present during the early childhood phases.

[soe11]

That case postponed continuation if studying for few years.

[Secret6620]

Thank you for your help!

[CubaPirate]

Do both it's hard work buy worth it

[Secret6620]

Thank you for your insight!

I am feeling a bit burnt out and I'm not even pregnant yet. So if I do decide to become a mommy, I only want to focus on that.

No distractions because raising our future leaders is not a joke.