Do you think it's more fulfilling to become a parent or to live out one's career goals?

[Simslover92]

I was watching the Candace Owens debate on Jubilee and she believes that women would be much happier being a wife and mother than fulfilling one's career goals. And same goes for men. But she speaks moreso on women being more fulfilled.

I'm not really a fan but I do feel like I personally would be more fulfilled as a wife and mother than fulfilling my dreams of becoming a successful author.

But what do you think?

More fulfilling to become a parent

More fulfilling to live out one's career goals

[ProbablyClueless]

I think for most people in most careers; parenting would absolutely be more fulfilling. Careers are such a luck of the draw thing.

The sad fact is that most careers will only ever be average at best. And they'll chew up lots of time and pull you away from doing higher return things. A meteoric career is another story, but most people don't have those.

Ironically, the people with the meteoric careers are often able to find time to date. People who are focusing on their careers are often the ones who wouldn't miss anything if they looked away.

Most people can have kids though... and many times those kids are pretty darn cool. And the satisfaction you get from having kids is a more surefire thing than a career.

Only you can decide whether your career should take precedence in your life. My only advice on the subject is to be realistic about your prospects and make peace with the fact that whatever decision you make will chew up time that you won't be able to get back to invest in other things.

[Simslover92]

Right. Thanks.

[nastyb]

when you don't have children and only have a career, you have more money, time , resources, vacations, energy to dedicate to yourself.

Career can also be fulfilling if it is your dream career. If you love what you do, you will never work a single day in your life.

If you absolutely hate your job, then yes, having children is better.

But keep in mind that once you have children, you will lack time, resources or energy to take care of yourself

[ProbablyClueless]

I’m not even sure that you have to go so far as hating your job. I think a bland work life is all it really takes for child rearing to be more appealing.

Let’s be honest, most of these career oriented people don’t have time or money for self care either. They aren’t generally taking lots of vacations and living on their own terms. They’re working a job all the time.

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

when you're single, childless, you can afford to take roadtrips on weekends.

you have the money to go on vacations since you aren't paying 4000 for daycare every month.

you get to have time to take care of yourself, treat yourself to nice dinners at restaurants. while parents need to run home after work to continue cooking, cleaning for their children.

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

and if a parent wants to go on vacation, they would be paying for ADDITIONAL FAIRFARE, TICKETS for the kids. Kids go on vacation too and they make vacations much more expensive.

if the kids don't go on vacation, the parents will need to HIRE A NANNY.

If you're single, you can go anywhere you want. No additional costs.

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

imagine working 9 hours a day then coming home to cook, clean, bathe your kids, teach them. Thats easily a 20 hour workday

versus

being a single childless person who just eats takeout and sleeps in front of the tv after a hard day at work

[ProbablyClueless]

Single people spend their money other ways! lol

What you’re saying is true, but my only point is that it’s often not what actually happens

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

what I am saying is true.

you're just in denial

[ProbablyClueless]

I’m not in denial at all. I acknowledged that what you’re saying is true. It’s just that what you’re saying is also only one part of the equation. That’s all.

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

you do realize most parents barely have the time to relax right?

thats why just a few years after they have kids, they always look unkempt, exhausted, tired.

when you barely have time to take care of yourself, you can forget about vacations.

[ProbablyClueless]

I do realize that. And do you realize that the vast majority of single and childless “career” people are in that exact same boat for only slightly different reasons?

It’s the same problem, just looking at it a different way.

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

because you're looking at a types of single, childless people who CHOSE to not do anything over their weekend. It's not that they don't have the time to do anything special, they just are too lazy and unmotivated to do anything special.

Choosing to not do anything special on the 3 weeks they have off for vacation during the year. Thats THEIR choice. If they want to spend it being lazy and sleeping in their room.

You need to realize that when you have plenty of free time, you get lazy, procrastinate so You end up wasting your free time in weekends.

But when you're a parent who gets no weekends off, you don't have any time to do anything special for yourself on your weekend. You don't have 2-3 weeks for vacation because you used all your paid time off days because your son was sick for two weeks earlier in the year.

When you lack free time all the time, that is when you CHOOSE to do something on your 1 week off during the year. Most parents don't even get 1 week off to themselves during the year

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

In other words, the less free time that a person has, the more they value it and choose to do something special in it.

the more free time that someone has, the less they value their free time. So they chose to do absolutely nothing on their days off.

[ProbablyClueless]

Sometimes they choose it. Usually it’s because they don’t have any money. Because they’ve spent their money on other things 😂

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

No, its usually not the lack of money. Its because single people usually have so much free time that they end up not valuing it. I know this because I have lived that way. I chose to spend my weekends being lazy instead of planning trips. Its easier to sit at home sleep late, eat pizza in front of a tv right?

Its the parents that lack money. Day care costs about 2000 per kid, per month. So if you have 2 kids, you're paying 4000 a month for day care. Thats almost total of 50k a year just for daycare
Don't forget other expenses like rent, food, baby supplies, transportation, property taxes, gas, car maintenance, retirement savings.

[ProbablyClueless]

I’ve lived that way too. I spent my 20s childless and single. It’s not exactly a rarified experience

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

most people aren't having kids because they're too expensive. Most people rather keep their peace and enjoy their vacations than to spend their entire lives to caring for their kids. Secondly, a lot of men don't want to commit. Thats why so many people don't have kids. Not many women want to have kids with a man who don't want to commit to them

[ProbablyClueless]

And look at the fat lot of good “protecting our peace” doing anyone; rates of depression and SSRI use are through the roof.

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

there is actually a study that proved that single childless women tend to be happier and healthier than married women or women with kids.

[nastyb]

@ProbablyClueless

there was also another study that proved that single moms did less housework than married moms.

[ProbablyClueless]

There are certainly studies that say those things

[BCRanger10]

Being a parent. Your kids will be with you at your deathbed. Your coworkers, managers, job titles, and bank accounts won't.

[Simslover92]

Right!

[BCRanger10]

Thank you for MHO 🙌

[Simslover92]

You're welcome

[nastyb]

not always the case tho. Don't have kids with an expectation that they will be there for you. Often times, this doesn't happen especially in American culture

[MrOracle]

Did your parents ever come to one (or more) of your childhood events - recital, sports event, science fair, school play, etc?

Do you remember them teaching you to swim or ride a bike or cook something?

I assure you that any of those meant way more to them than any project or promotion at work. How about the first time you hosted a holiday at your place? Or helped with something around the house, or took them to an appointment? No one at their job is going to care about them like that.

When it really matters is when you get old and aren't working anymore. Having family vs being alone in the world is night and day. Even if your family is halfway across the country, you still know that there are people who care about you. Being alone is incredibly hard, and even worse if you fall on hard times. What if your health fails and you can't take care of yourself? Having family to help take care of you vs. suffering and dying alone in the streets isn't exactly a difficult choice.

The choice IS yours, of course, but at least be honest about what the consequences of your choices are likely to be.

[Dongie]

So deeply true.

[nastyb]

when you don't have children and only have a career, you have more money, time , resources, vacations, energy to dedicate to yourself.

Career can also be fulfilling if it is your dream career. If you love what you do, you will never work a single day in your life.

If you absolutely hate your job, then yes, having children is better.

But keep in mind that once you have children, you will lack time, resources or energy to take care of yourself

[MrOracle]

That sounds great when you are young and have lots of single friends. It's a lot harder to convince yourself of any of that when your friends are all occupied with their families and you are taking vacations alone with no one to share them with, and when you come home to an empty house night after night.

Those aren't my words, though. They're the words of many women who believed what you said until the reality of their situation really hit them.

[nastyb]

@MrOracle

what you need to realize is that women can start families on their own, they don't need husbands to have kids. So if they truly wanted children, they would've already had children.

If you see an older single woman who is childless, there is a very good chance she made the decision to not want kids.

Plus, most people aren't even marrying or having kids nowadays. They can just befriend each other.

[nastyb]

@MrOracle

men usually don't have a choice when it comes to childlessness. Because men can't have children on their own. If a man is childless at an older age, its usually forced upon him. I know of plenty of old men in their 50s-60s or on their deathbeds still hoping and praying they could have kids one day.

[Dongie]

You're wrong nastyb. Have you not heard of a surrogate mother? Just like you need sprem from a man and can get it in a few ways a man can get a child through a surrogate.

[nastyb]

@Dongie

Most men can't afford a surrogate.

[Dongie]

If they want a child and can afford to raise a child they can. One shouldn't have children if they are going to depend on the government to pay the expenses to raise them.

[MrOracle]

@nastyb "what you need to realize is that women can start families on their own, they don't need husbands to have kids."

Yes, but those kids need BOTH a father AND a mother in their lives, or their chance of becoming a successful adult is quite low. And it's incredibly selfish to deny your children a father just because you (not you personally) can't be bothered. That's despicable behavior.

[Dongie]

I gotta say...
... whew!💦

[nastyb]

@Dongie

because men can't afford surrogates?

[nastyb]

@MrOracle

just the same way SOO MANY FATHERS ABANDON THEIR KIDS...

Single mothers can have and raise kids on their own

Birth statistics show an increase in the number of single women 40 and older giving birth, all on their own, without husbands

Its quite funny how there is NEVER ANY OUTRAGE when men abandon their kids.

but yet when a single woman choses to have a child on her own, she gets hit with enormous lashback.

[MrOracle]

@nastyb Men who abandon their children are scum. Women who drive away the fathers of their children outside of a legit dangerous situation, or who intentionally have children without the father, are also scum. Children NEED both parents. We have decades of statistics that CLEARLY connect an endless list of problems to fatherless households. Obviously, there are situations out of everyone's control (the man dies, etc.) where kids can't have their father in their lives, and, yes, there are SHIT men who are criminals, drug addicts or alcoholics, or are abusive and must be kept away from their children. That doesn't mean that the children are going to be okay - they won't - but, yes, in those limited situations, being with the father would be worse. But I've also seen lots of situations where the mom does everything she can to drive or keep the father away simply out of selfish spite, and doesn't care about the damage that does to the children. And women choosing to have a baby alone are also insanely selfish because that child is going to be without a father simply because the mother didn't care what was best for the child, only what SHE wanted.

[Effably]

In the majority of cases, being a parent.

And while I can not believe it is 2025 and I am reiterating feminist fighting words in a positive I do want to point out that the idea was never to force women to have or pursue careers but to give women the choice of doing so.

Something they almost achieved! Then economy happened and people realized that on two incomes we can increase costs a lot. Unfortunately that removed much of the choice for most.
Suddenly the idea of a shoesalesman providing for two kids and a wife while having by today's metrics a pretty large house and managing just fine is the funniest joke about a tv series that was meant to show someone struggling. Simpsons had a similar phenomena although a bit less as it is actually a rather well paying job.

But political subversion of noble goals aside, the idea is that you can choose. Not to say which choice is better.

[nastyb]

when you don't have children and only have a career, you have more money, time , resources, vacations, energy to dedicate to yourself.

Career can also be fulfilling if it is your dream career. If you love what you do, you will never work a single day in your life.

If you absolutely hate your job, then yes, having children is better.

But keep in mind that once you have children, you will lack time, resources or energy to take care of yourself

[nastyb]

I think you're incredibly short sighted.

when you don't have children and only have a career, you have more money, time , resources, vacations, energy to dedicate to yourself.

Career can also be fulfilling if it is your dream career. If you love what you do, you will never work a single day in your life.

If you absolutely hate your job, then yes, having children is better.

But keep in mind that once you have children, you will lack time, resources or energy to take care of yourself

[Miristheiss]

For women? Parents. I am constantly reading info on women who hit 35 and suddenly get this intense biological drive to have a baby but many have missed their chance by then. I constantly read that women aren't happy and they are all in therapy and on anti anxiety drugs when they get older.

Sleeping around with endless men, going out and drinking and restaurants and travel all their life sounds fun but I keep seeing push back that they really don't end up feeling fulfilled and content later.

Women's specific biological reason to exist is to have babies and care for them. Denying ones own biology cannot be the best even though the degenerate, selfish culture pushes that.

It is only logical. Doing what you were made for leads to the most satisfaction and contentment.

[nastyb]

women aren't having kids anymore because they simply do not want them

don't think a woman needs a husband to have a baby. Women can get pregnant and have babies on their own, as single women.

if a woman chose to not have a baby, it means she does not want one.

its funny how men think they know women. they don't

[Miristheiss]

@nastyb
So?
People want to get drunk, do drugs, overeat, smoke, get diabetes... all kinds self destructive, idiotic shit.
Women are constantly choosing bad guys and guys any rational person knows would never be a good partner.

You say that as if women are so wise that they makes good decisions and what is best for them.
Humans are fucking morons.

Women juat believe that scientists creating a drug to fuck with womens cycles to stop biology and pregnancy.

For 50 years women have gotten to be as degenerate and self absorbed as the crave.
You act as if this is some wisdom... they know what is best.
That is why the west is facing a demographic catastrophe in the next 50 to 100 years due to the declining birth rate.

They have chosen to destroy the society.

That is how wise they are.

Morons.

[nastyb]

@Miristheiss

women don't need partners to have babies, hun.
if a single woman truly wanted a child, she would have gotten herself pregnant already

[HawkPerception]

100% being a parent. There's a saying.

"Plant a tree, have a child, write a book."

They're all things that will hopefully outlive you and give you great fulfillment in your life. Not just that, but we're social creatures. Having a family helps with mental health. When you've achieved all you want in your career, it's not going to be there at your deathbed.

[PeachyPie93]

I think it has to be both since I don't think I would be fulfilled doing just one or the other.. Raising kids is cool and all and its fun watching them turn into great people when you raise them right but then one day they leave you and what will you have? So I think I would want to have a job I enjoy too until I retire cuz by then I think I would be good to just keel over I wouldn't want to live much longer than 65 lol.

[Sirenboobzilla]

This is a very personal thong and there is no wrong answer. I find that my career and relationship give me purpose and a sense of fulfillment. I don't feel that just starting a family and being a housewife is for me. However that could easily change whenever it's my turn to be a mother

[nastyb]

i agree. if you love your career, you will never ever work a day in your life.

[4ngelic]

depends on the person probably. for me i dont think i could be truly fulfilled with just one of these. if i was a stay at home wife devoted to her kids, i'd probably feel like my life would be dull and like i'm a failure. and if i was a chidless career woman, i'd probably feel not complete and lonely after a certain age.

[wynning]

I don't know but I think it might be more of a care and commitment-based fulfillment to be a parent while fulfillment from a career would be more about self-actualisation.

They're different ways of being fulfilled in life, I imagine. Parenting seems to be more about a personal purpose for posterity... and careers about progression and performance.

[nastyb]

if you love your career, you will never ever work a day in your life. Truth is... most people don't even like their jobs. Thats why their jobs gives them no fulfillment

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

oh self-actualization in relation to jobs lol, Maslow has landed into the arena. That's very LinkedIn of you to drop this name in this context 😏

[wynning]

Ye both have very different takes on my already half baked one 😂 Please keep in mind there's a lot of different "perhaps" and "maybes" and "possibly"s... in here lol

[wynning]

r/LinkedInLunatic of me maybe, but career could be fulfilling*

*T&Cs apply

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"would be"
"I imagine"
"seems to be"

That's right, you have been using a lot of maybes in this opinion. I'm flattered thank you !

[ohsheeT]

100 % parent hands down. I've been so blessed on the things I can do in life .. but I think my kids tought me more than I tough them. Lol. Byr time goes by so fast..


I don't care what anyone offered me I would not trade it ever for anything

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I conceive no fulfillment in being a parent, I conceive no fulfillment in work. So there's that lol. Instead, I conceive fulfillment as an unstable state of things composed of:

• a few good friends
• a tender love
• projects that matter to me
• music
• a bicycle
• a general sense of ataraxia

[nastyb]

because you hate your job, thats why you get no fulfillment in your career

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I don't hate, no, I just find don't find labour fulfilling, and I see even less meaning in a career approach to labour

[nastyb]

@Maybe_Maybe_not

labor for children isn't fulfilling either. Just wait till you haven't slept all night cuz your newborn was crying then with 1 hr of sleep, you still have to head back to work 9am the next morning. Do this for the next 6 years of your life.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

😂 ?

I mean, I understand what you're saying but I don't get why you're telling me this. Why you're lecturing me for no reason. And I also don't understand your timing lol. My daughter is 23 years old, please go lecture someone else.

[nastyb]

@Maybe_Maybe_not

if you understand then why are you disagreeing with me

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

This conversation doesn't make enough sense to me to maintain it.

[Bricealan]

@Simslover92 Interesting question, 'lover'. Becoming a parent has some very fulfilling aspects to it, bringing up a responsible, mature young person to adulthood and watching them grow emotionally, intellectually, socially and becoming a success in life, but that often times does not happen as we all see daily.

I did one time wish that I had children, and a friend told me in confidence: "Be careful what you wish for"!

I, for one, focused on career, and never regretted it, and have had a somewhat successful, although, circuitous trip.

[Joshydavid25]

Having a career is... Such a modern thing.. People treat careers is a purpose in life, and to find fulfillment in it, when at the end of the day it's just a job.. It's there to make you money at the end of the day.. There's nothing wrong with liking and being good at what you do in life, and finding some fulfillment in that.. But that's not most people.. Having children is ultimately more purpose fulfillment..

[Shiprex]

IF you want to have kids then marriage is wise. Otherwise it's not necessary.

For women it's probably more useful as they can have choices to work or stay at home. Men don't get to choose as most women wouldn't fell comfortable with that as they see it as not providing and weak.

[Apple1996]

Not a fan of Candace but yeah I feel more fulfilled being a parent. I cannot imagine life without my kids. Just working seems too boring

[Simslover92]

Yeah I'm not either but I totally agree that it's more fulfilling being a parent. I can't wait to be one if I ever get the chance to.

[Jennz6]

@Apple1996
Who’s Candace?

[Jennz6]

@Apple1996
Oh ops Candace Owens

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It varies from person to person. The issue with Candace Owens specifically, despite being an obvious grifter, is that she presents as a one-track mind that cannot be changed. She believes her experiences are universal and treats them as such for her conservative christian audiences.

[nawtee_me]

I have been lucky enough to do both. Now my career was not what I wanted when I was young but it has provided for me and my kids. I am about to retire and my kids are grown. When I retire I would like to travel a little bit and complete some goals that I can’t while working.
what do you like to write about?

[dustybiker2]

It's most fulfilling to do both. What sucks is when life happens, you get struck by illness and literally unable to do either. But what rocks is kicking the illness in the sack and standing up again. Life is life. Live it. Drain it dry.

[BadApple69]

There is nothing better than being a parent. A career is good for your company and your boss, but when you get older and you are a successful business person…. And all alone…. The career won’t look so attractive.

[Caroline91]

I think that's kind of a false dichotomy. Why can't you do both?

[Simslover92]

You can do both but one is going to lack. My mom although great worked a lot because she was a single mom and therefore I was neglected with getting the love necessary to truly know how to love as an adult. I've had to navigate through my first relationship with many insecurities and not knowing how to really be. Had I had a father in my life who took on more of the role of being the breadwinner and my mom being able to nurture me more, I'd probably still be in my relationship.

[NordicInScandinavia]

I think it highly depends on the person.

For me personally, I'd like it all - career goals don't need to be some that requires all your time and effort. Both paths are fulfilling in their own ways.

[qwerty2469]

Im 43. Worked my way from a janitor to a financial analyst at 43 with only a highschool diploma. I did this by working nights and weekends for free. My oldest daughter is 16, middle is 13, youngest it's 5. The only people that will give a shit that I worked late and on the weekends next year are my daughters. Because I wasn't there. My employer may fire me for missing a metric by 1 point. If you live for work you are a fucking slave.

[midnightmoon05]

Why not both 😊.
there was a little struggle… but at the end. I have both and am really happy with being a career woman and a mom of 2 teens.

[molonski2]

I honestly think it's gender dependent

And no matter what they tell you , you can't really have both.

[Prometheus89]

Come to menzil sect

[queenofcardio]

It varies.. Some women have no desire to become a parent. There are other ways to be fulfilled in life

[juleyboo74]

Totally more fulfilling, and more important, to be a wife and mom.

[red-lipstick-girl]

I have three siblings and I take care of all of them. Parenting comes easy to me, but I still haven't had a career yet. I'm sure I will soon.

[exitseven]

I was nevera big career guy but I amreally proud of the way my family turned out

[CarolinaCutie5]

Both can be just depends on the person and what they want out of life. There's no right or wrong answer here. But it's possible to have both.

[Chayce]

Probably being a parent but only if it's with the right person. I doubt I'll have children or get married though.

[Xawyx-2]

I think becoming a parent is more fulfilling.

But it depends on the person of course, there are exceptions.

[DrPepper12]

It's a false choice. The USA lacks the culture & institutions to make both a possibily

[Dongie]

A possibilly?

[dustybiker2]

Unless you run your own business

[Kingofkings1992]

@dongie lmao!

[Dongie]

🎶🕺😅

[MannMitAntworten]

All my happiest memories surround around family memories. I cannot say the same for a career.

[BigSwingingBalls]

career goals are too selfcentered. won't satisfy you in the end

[Anonymous]

I think being capable of driving home safely after drinking a fifth of tequila is a much more satisfying accomplishment than either.

[Justneedtokno]

Why can’t you have both

[Simslover92]

You can have both but one is going to take precedence over the other.

[Grond21]

Parent. By a wide margin

[Dargil]

Early on, career. Later, parenting.

[loveyouoak]

More fulfilling to live out one's career goals

[Jennz6]

Just being a mom

[Dongie]

Much more so being a parent.

[noohair]

Children are the future.

[Prometheus89]

Come to menzil sect

[seeyounexttuesday]

Way more fulfilling to become a parent.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Definitely to become a parent

[Kingofkings1992]

Depends on the individual

[ethem438]

Become a parents