How to deal with someone who you don't want a friendship with?

[oxoxo-lover]

So there's a coworker I met a few months back in a temporary contract job. She was very friendly with me. I was nice to her as well. She was a lot younger. she's barely 19. But she was always around me and started to cling to me. This is because she wanted a friendship. However, I quickly noticed that we were completely different. She was extroverted, loud and immature. She was always around me to the point people started to associate me with her. It was too much for me. Especially when she would try to hang out and invite herself into my house. Although this changed once she changed her schedule and I began to see her less. I finally started to distance myself from her. She found a new friend who was her age. I would still talk to her if I would see her. However, my contract with the company ended before hers. As far as I know she is still there. I am actually interested in going back this month if possible because I need extra $. After I left I texted her to let her know. I felt like the conversation was dry and ended it. A few months have passed and recently she called me. I didn't answer because I feel like she was bored and wanted someone to talk to. I also didn't really consider her as someone I wanted as a friend. She also ended up having a reputation as problematic in the workplace. I ignored her but I feel bad. She told me she struggles to make friends and she had depression before. I also was thinking about maybe reaching out in case she knows something about the job or I do end up going back. (However I do have another persons number that I can ask).

[SallyTho87]

I wouldn't get involved again. She disturbed you in the workplace prior, continuously inviting and including herself into situations with YOU, and since you have been informed she has been problematic in the workplace, I wouldn't even attempt to build friendship.

You do not owe anyone your time, friendship, or compassion based on what they tell you about themselves. Just because she had depression in the past, or finds it difficult to make friends, that is NOT your responsibility to handle or deal with. You dont need to be her friend.

I would leave her be friends with the other person. While at work keep things professional and kind, and please, do not feel bad or feel you are being mean by declining her friendship. She clearly crossed a boundary an irritated you when you were working with her last time, implementing herself into your daily life at workplace and otherwise.
Keep it professional, do not respond to calls, texts, and respect your feelings about her too. They matter just as much.

[Pinay_ako]

When you do end up seeing her again because you will if she still works there, just a simple hi 👋 will do. If she continues with the conversation, try to cut it short and say “it’s nice seeing you again but I have a lot on my plate. Hope all is well with you.”That’s it! And going forward, keep convos short and direct to the point and keep and make yourself look busy!

[Pinay_ako]

Aww thanks for the MHO. Hope my advice works 🤣

[oxoxo-lover]

So she ended up sending me a video through social media. I opened it and I felt bad ignoring her so I just hi i've been super busy. How are things? Hope all is well. She replied saying that she had missed me and she had called me many times prior to tell me that there was a job opening. She also updated me on how things were going there. I couldn't keep texting because I had to work. I did try to text her back hours later but she didn't respond. Honestly she didn't even call me multiple times. It was only like 2 times. But I don't know if she got mad at me. Either way it honestly doesn't bother me. I was actually busy and tired most of the time. I might go back because I can't find another job. If I do see her I will just say hi and thats it. If she took the wrong way its on her.

[oxoxo-lover]

Also I think its for the best because if she had helped get back there it would have felt like I owed her something. If I do go back its going to be by my own account. Not because she helped me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, that's a tricky situation sis. On one hand, you don't wanna totally ignore her calls if there's a chance you might have to work together again - that could make things awk.

But you also don't wanna lead her on as a friend if you're not feeling the vibe. Some girls just can't take a hint!

I'd say shoot her a casual text back - something like "Hey, sorry missed your call! Been busy lately. Let me know if you hear anything new about [job] openings."

Keep it light and brief so she doesn't try venting personal stuff. Hopefully she doesn't ask to hang out - just politely decline if so.

As for the job, might be worth looping in that other contact just in case. That way you've got another option besides relying on her info.

If all else fails you could always just ghost her number if you do go back there! But no need to burn a bridge yet either. Feel it out step-by-step sis!

[oxoxo-lover]

So she ended up sending me a video through social media. I opened it and I felt bad ignoring her so I just hi i've been super busy. How are things? Hope all is well. She replied saying that she had missed me and she had called me many times prior to tell me that there was a job opening. She also updated me on how things were going there. I couldn't keep texting because I had to work. I did try to text her back hours later but she didn't respond. Honestly she didn't even call me multiple times. It was only like 2 times. But I don't know if she got mad at me. Either way it honestly doesn't bother me. I was actually busy and tired most of the time. I might go back because I can't find another job. If I do see her I will just say hi and thats it. If she took the wrong way its on her.

Also I think its for the best because if she had helped get back there it would have felt like I owed her something. If I do go back its going to be by my own account. Not because she helped me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girlll, you're totally handling this right in my opinion! That situation with her seemed like way too much drama waiting to happen if you let her back in. Like you said, you don't wanna owe her anything by having her help get you the job again.

I wouldn't worry too much about if she got mad when you took a while to reply - she'll get over it. You said yourself you've been busy, and you don't actually have to tell her every little thing that's going on in your life.

Honestly it was smart to keep things brief and professional in your texts. No need to encourage more clinging if you're not really friends. And if she takes that the wrong way, that's her own problem to deal with. You've already been nicer than you had to be by responding at all!

I'd say just do what you need to do to get the job without involving her more than necessary. Keep things surface level nice if you see each other, but don't feel bad about setting boundaries. You gotta do what's best for you without all the extra stress she seemed to cause before! You've got this 👊🏼

[MsProsperity]

Just because you feel sorry for her doesn’t mean you should be her friend. Just let her know that y’all can’t be friends but she can talk to you when she needs emotional help

[RasmusAiken]

Be polite to her. But in choosing friends it's important to pick those who leave you looking forward to your next event with them. Life's too short for anything less.

[electromagnetic]

Just block her and keep moving on with your life. You already said she’s problematic. You’ve dodged her once, it may not be easy to be able to dodge her a second time around.

[FuqUFggt]

Tell them you don't want to be friends.

[Alice18]

Ignore