What's the best way to comfort someone that just lost their only child?

[DanaPonds]

The lady is a friendly neighbor in her mid 60's. She had already dealt with the loss of her husband in late 2020. Then just 5 days ago, her daughter (and only child) died of cancer at the age of 39. Now all she has is her son-in-law and grandchildren; a 14 year-old girl and 10 year-old boy.

The lady is refusing visits at this moment and distancing herself. She doesn't want to speak to anyone at this moment. That was her only child. What's the best way to comfort someone that just lost their only child?

[lightbulb27]

I don't know fully, what a tragedy to lose a child before you.

I would be thinking about how greatful she is to have anyone, she has the grandkids.

I would think she becomes concerned about whom will help her. maybe that can be ironed out. being alone and unsuppored in this world is bad and scary. too many old people have no one, lonely in nursing homes.

[DanaPonds]

Indeed it's sad when she's all alone. She has grandkids but they live in another city with their father, far from her.

[lightbulb27]

That be very scary. whose there to help her? Being alone and lonely is not only a fear, it's a real fear. Only family can really stick up for you... like family. Friends/church maybe all she has.

[Staximus]

There's really no way but to just be there. There's nothing you can say that will make her feel better. Bake her some cookies or something and take them over there.

[DanaPonds]

I've actually just finished baking my chocolate chip cookies. That's her favorite dessert. I'll bring them over to her in a bit.

[Staximus]

You're a nice person. If you see the son in law, tell him to bring the grandkids over regularly to cheer her up. My mom died when I was 20. My brother and I would go see my grandma about once a month after that. Her neighbor said she really looked forward to those visits and it made her very happy. People need a reason to keep living sometimes, something to look forward to and keep them from losing hope. Especially older people.

[rosemilk]

just be nice. bring her things that would make her day. other than that, you can't do much more. she'll have to do a lot of internal work. you can only help with external

[DanaPonds]

I've just finished baking chocolate cookies and I'll bring some for her. Homemade chocoate chip cookies are her favorite desserts. Hopefully she likes them.

[rosemilk]

that sounds like she'll enjoy them, very nice of you

[jahaims]

You can't. That is the worst thing I can imagine