My friends never reach out or initiate contact! How to deal with this?

[Anonymous]

I keep feeling like I'm the least important person for my friends, like I'm worth nothing to them compared how they feel to me. Reading back my conversations with them also show me 90% of the time starting the conversation or getting no reply back. This really hurst me as for me it feels like when I don't start them, I don't hear anything from them for months. Which already happend once before when I was in a very dark spot with my depression and dissapeard for 2 months online. No one reached out to me or asked me how I was. No one even noticed me being gone online. Only 1 person asked where I was in a public Discord server when someone mentioned fire (which is a inside joke with some friends due to my interest with fire) and even then no one reached out or initiate contact.

I have told them in the past multiple times before how I feel about this. And especially how it hurst me and makes me feel like the least liked person of the group. They came with the most bullshit excuses like "I find it difficult to text first", "I find if difficult to maintain conversations with anyone" or "I'm so busy lately I just forget it due to ADHD!". Then after they reach out a little more frequent for just some weeks, then it dies out again till i get annoyed about it again like before and have to rant about it again. It feels like the cycle keeps restarting over and over again.

How can I deal with this? It almost feels like I have to find new friends or stop even initiating contact myself. Which I already have done with some people and never heard anything from for almost two to three years.

[petitedollbabee]

Find new friends if it’s something that you can’t tolerate. That’s what I did. I had friends like that, who rarely ever initiated conversations. One day I just stopped messaging them first and waited to see how long it would take them to message me first. It’s been almost 5 years now, lol! Clearly they were not interested in our friendship. Stepping back and waiting for them to message you back will show you who is really your friend or who is just kinda ‘there’ because you engage with them.

[whistlingwh0res]

Americans are backstabbers. I think there are lot of dumb people who trust them too

[Asker]

We are not American

[SotiCoto]

If they're not willing to extend themselves to keep in contact with you then they don't regard you as necessary in the first place... and you don't need friends like that.

[JacobJordan]

Find new friends. If they never reach out they don't see you as a friend

[Simply_Helica]

I agree! Seems like you are their friend but they arnt yours.. a friendship that is one sided isn't a friendship, you're the only one holding on to this "friendship"

[TheSpaceGnome]

Ditch them and get actual friends.