My adoptive parents doesn't want me to help my biological parents do you think its selfish of them to not want me to help my bio family?

[Anonymous]

My adoptive parents (my aunt and uncle) adopted me when I was 2 and when I was in college my uncle and aunt worked for my well off biological sister they were caretakers of my sisters house (because my sister married well off man) my sister also helps me sometimes with tuition at school and my parents are kinda giving me money sometimes for school fees now that I graduated and I have a job my uncle and aunt doesn't want me to help my own mother and my own siblings because they said they helped me to get where I am they should be my priority instead of my own bio family. They dont like me giving money to them. Like last time I said I'd like to renovate my own parents house they said " Why are you renovating their house you should be renovating our house?" And my aunt would always say to my siblings that" I will never help them because they didn't even help me in college that they should be the only people I should be helping because they helped me to get where I am" but thats not true cuz I want to help my bio family as well plus they hate sharing my blessings to them as well I see their faces they look mad. Im also thinking my bio moms birthday is incoming I would love to give her a gift. To be clear I helped my adoptive parents enough with money I helped to renovate their house on my uncles birthday I already gave him $180(7,000 pesos) I live in Asia third world thats big enough just for birthday gift. I don't know I also thought they are kinda selfish for not me helping other people or gifting my biological parents or siblings also my niece and nephew they seem mad when I do that. by the way are they selfish? Its my money now right I have right to spend who to spend where to spend my money now without asking approval of my aunt and uncle even though they raised me right?

[Universaldance]

There’s a lot more to this I would imagine but you should be free to do whatever you want with your money especially giving it to someone you choose to as a gift if you’ve earned it.


If your aunt gave you the money for doing chores or service around the house and you earned it, there could be some petty grey area that I feel needs to be discussed further. We may never know the true reason/whether a grudge or not that she may not want you to give.


If you earned it elsewhere outside of the house then by all means there would be nothing wrong for you to do that.


In challenging times like these, I’ve come to refer back to simple acknowledgements or greeting cards. A simple thought or idea is worth more than one can imagine.


There is this virtue I’d like to share that a smile can go a long way- ‘The Value of a Smile at Christmas’ as Dale Carnegie summarizes it:


It costs nothing, but creates much.

It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.

It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes last forever.

None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor, but are richer for its benefits.

It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.

It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and Nature’s best antidote for trouble.

It cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away.

And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours?

For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give?

[HelpfulWoman]

sounds weird of you to be busy giving money to useless parents who gave you up for adoption

[Asker]

Im not giving them money just a gift. I guess my own mother doesn't care about her own kids but she is old now

[Asker]

My father is deceased now so Im only helping my bio mom now

[HelpfulWoman]

again... they literally gave you up.
gift is still GIVING them money.
retarded are you