Have any of you grown up with a single mom.. no dad?

[Anonymous]

I am raising a boy on my own.. no dad. Even after nine years, I have no idea what I'm doing. I say that because of course son is constantly aging/changing , and he is a boy. I have NO help at all. My mental health isn't the best, and being a single mother makes me even more mentally exhausted. I am scared that I am screwing him up. Especially since I have to work all the time to be able to afford the safe area that we live in.

If you were raised by a single mother, what was your experience?

[smashleyy]

I was raised by a single mom and it was hell, grew up poverty stricken, she had me young, had a fuck ton of trauma she was avoiding and numbing with a pill addiction, when high she was emotionally unstable and explosive. If you’re a single parent and you DONT check any of my mom’s boxes I think you’re doing a pretty decent job😂. Even with having the childhood I did I don’t blame her abusive behaviour on the fact she was a single parent. She was unstable and emotionally immature she couldn’t hold down a romantic relationship even if she wanted to. Had she worked through her issues instead of numbing them prior to having kids I think she would’ve been a decent mother poverty and all.

[Asker]

The worst thing I do is tell my son to give me 20 mins alone in my room when I'm having a panic attack. I definitely don't see him as much as I would like just because I am working so much to pay for this apartment that we're safe in.

[smashleyy]

He should be fine. Give yourself grace your doing a job alone that’s suppose to be done by two

[dazzafromoz]

Hats off to your positive attitude and amazing assessment of your situation and your mums circumstances. Wow!

[OfMiceandMen]

I raised a daughter on my own, and you do the best you can with what you have. The most important thing is to give them lots of love and reassurance in life because you're the only parent in the family. If you can afford to give him a little time on weekends and do some fun stuff together, he'll have great memories of growing up with his daughter. If you hang with a group of friends and there is a guy who already is father you can trust maybe ask him to take your son out once in awhile with his kids/sons. I know I would do that for a friend who was in need.

[OfMiceandMen]

sorry, growing up with his mother...

[dazzafromoz]

I have. It's fucked. As much as you love him you can't be a dad to him and any boyfriend you get even if they get along will never really be his dad.