What benefits comes with raising your child while still living with your parents as far as for the child/you?

[Anonymous]

[abc3643]

When I was born, my parents were only married 11 months and were still living with my paternal grandparents and my father's paternal grandmother, so there were 6 of us. My parents and I continued to live in that home until I was 2.5 years old. Now, this was 1963-1965, so my mother was a stay-at-home mom and my great-grandmother was there as well, while my father and grandparents worked.

The critical benefit was that, by living with my grandparents, my father could save for the down-payment on the home my parents bought in 1965. Of course, I am sure that my grandparents helped give my parents advice too. Both of my parents were young; I was born when my mom was 19y 8m old and just before my father turned 23. They were both the youngest kids in their families. Furthermore, on my mother's side, my grandmother had passed away almost 5 years before I was born and just after my mother turned 15, so my mother could not turn to her mother for advice. My maternal grandfather lived 3 blocks away, so I am sure that helped my mom too. And relatives lived in the area not far away for the most part, so, overall, it was helpful.

[Caroline91]

For my family? All kinds of benefits. We have lived in multi-generational households for many generations. I was raised with my grandmother and great-grandmother in the home. We don't have any grandparents in our home at the moment, but we live in a kind of communal arrangement with all of my in-laws, everybody's house right next to each other. The kids just kind of flow back and forth between houses. My little ones spend nights with grandma and grandpa regularly and often spontaneously. I'll get a phone call and their grandparents have put them on to say "good night" to Mommy. If I don't want them to stay the night, for whatever reason, I just walk across the lawn and carry them back to my house. The benefits? I always have a strong support system I can rely on and my children feel so much love from so many people all of the time.

[Asker]

So do you believe if you raise your child in your parents home and they pass that home down to you and your child, are kind of stopping yourself from growing as an adult and allowing your child to see you grow? Considering you had something passed down to you vs going out and getting your own for you and your child? Where they can see you actually making moves and doing adult things.

[Caroline91]

My husband and I are doing adult things. We support our family financially, we fully participate in our children's lives and provide opportunities for them. We will pass down to them whatever we can when their time comes and they can choose what they wish to do with that. We are teaching them how to live in a happy, well functioning extended family unit. They can choose to do it differently when they grow up. We are not failing to grow as adults because of the family dynamic we have chosen. We are growing as we participate in a family structure and dynamic we wish to be in. We think for ourselves and are raising our little ones to think for themselves. If anything, they will learn far more about cooperative living than most other children do and, hopefully, transfer that skill to their own personal and professional lives. It works for us.

[WhitneySnow]

Grandparents close by I guess. But your parents might be in your business.

[Asker]

Do you think it will prevent your growth as an adult? and if your child doesn’t see you growing or moving out on your own, your child will be the same way?

[Asker]

Like if they don’t see you grow, they won’t grow kind of thing?

[WhitneySnow]

I’m not sure. Never really thought about it. Maybe.