How should I handle this respectfully and maturely?

[Anonymous]

My mum keeps telling me to do stuff for my emotionally distant father, to make him feel better, like giving him a kiss good night when neither of us are affectionate people and to give a gift for both of them for Christmas, just to him.

She’s also advised me to end things with my friends with benefits partner and pointed out that he could be married and that he’s disrespectful. She was right about my friends with benefits and I won’t be with a married man because it’s poaching on another woman’s territory. However, I’m finding continuous suggestions about what I should do irritating.

[Oliverlogan263]

It's totally normal to feel irritated when someone constantly tells you what to do, especially about personal relationship stuff. Your mom just wants the best for you and your family, but pushing her opinions on you isn't respecting your boundaries.

The best thing is to have an honest, calm talk with her. Explain that while you appreciate her caring, her suggestions are starting to stress you out. You're old enough now to make your own choices about who you spend time with and how you show affection. As long as you're being safe and treating people right, it's your decision to make.

Ask her to please back off a bit and trust your judgment more. If there's a real problem, you'll come to her, but day-to-day little things are between you and that person. Maybe suggest keeping gifts just between the two of you this year so it's not caused any issues.

Communication is key, so be respectful but also firm about needing her support, not constant criticism. A little space could help your relationship. If she keeps at it after you talked, just calmly change the subject or take a break from hanging out for a bit until she gets the message. I'm sure you can work it out maturely without blowing up at each other. Stay strong, sis!

[PeachyPie93]

All mothers are annoying she is just trying to get you to make the best choices in life.. but it isn't like you have to listen since you are grown...

[Anonymous]

If that is your real age, you are far too old to be dealing with this.

[Asker]

It is and yes I am. So how do I deal with it?