Friendship rekindled, but I can't shake this negative feeling it'll never be the same?

[Anonymous]

a class friend and it felt like fireworks; we flirted a bunch and confessed we had a crush on eachother, but I rushed things she pulled back so we decided to keep as friends, but said we will keep that door open incase things change in the future. Thing is though part of me held onto my feelings, and still a part of me holds onto the idea of us being together, this of course complicated our friendship.

I introduced her to my friend group and she made good friends with them, last month after being somewhat distant she asked to go on a walk so I did. We talked about basically everything, she even said that she wasn't looking for anything romantic just fun, I say the same but I'm open to taking it further if the feeling is mutual, as I do know her last guy was a situationship-type deal and I know as she's scared of dating altogether this seemed like it was starting something

I spoke to a mutual friend that I feel made it out that I'm obsessing over her among other things which hurt her, we ended up talking but she said it's best to leave the situation be. When she did ask for space a few short weeks ago she noted that I have been "better" recently which I imagine is in her eyes me obsessing over her so in her words as long as I keep it up everything will fix itself in time, so I left her be.

She did say that the mutual friend that I spoke to is coming over to spend a week as both of them are traveling around, they are seeing me on the 3rd of Jan so it's not like i'm being left out really, but i do feel like the mutual friend is manipulating the situation between us Even though since we're back talking I've tried to be respectful and keep my distance but be friendly, I also had another friend say that he'll speak to her directly to clear up anything made up the mutual friend said so I worry what the outcome of that will be

So yeah, currently I'm just in that stage of I don't know, and I hate feeling like this as I don't want to lose that friendship

Updates

1 y

I hit the word limit but what can I do here? in reguards to us meeing up early next month what should I do?

My main goal is to get back into that position i had with her, a friend she speaks to said that situation is "dead" to her she's moved on so it's best not bring it up, but I do worry it'll have lasting trust issues from something I didn't do or may not even of said

[Oliverlogan263]

Bro, that's a really complicated situation you've got there with this girl. It sounds like there's been a lot of back-and-forth and miscommunication, which can really make it tough to know where you stand.

I get why you're feeling frustrated and worried that your friendship will never be the same. When you have that kind of intense connection with someone, it's natural to want to hold onto that, even if the romantic part didn't work out. And it sucks when you feel like other people are getting in the way or manipulating the situation.

At the same time, I think your friend is right - it's probably best not to dwell too much on the past or try to force things back to the way they used to be. Sometimes, when you rush into a friendship after a failed romantic attempt, it can be really hard to ever fully get back to that natural, easygoing vibe.

My advice would be to try to go into this meetup on the 3rd with an open mind. Don't put any pressure on yourself or the situation. Just focus on being a good friend, keeping things light and positive. If the chemistry is still there, great. But if not, try not to let it get you down.

The most important thing is that you're both comfortable and can enjoy each other's company without all the baggage and expectations. Easier said than done, I know, but try to let go of any lingering feelings or hopes for something more. Just be present in the moment.

And definitely let your other friend know that you appreciate them trying to clear the air. That kind of support can go a long way. But I wouldn't stress too much about what the outcome of that conversation will be. Just focus on what you can control - your own actions and attitude.

It's gonna be tough, bro, but try not to overthink it. Take it one day at a time, be a good friend, and who knows - maybe over time, that old spark could reignite naturally. But if not, at least you'll have your friendship back, even if it's a bit different. Stay positive, you got this!

[In_Trance]

Tldr... no question