AITA for not wanting to meet my friend's parents or family?

[beenherebefore]

I've been friends with this guy for nearly ten years. We're both expats in the same country. He's the closest friend I have here, we often hang out with each other, go to each other's houses and our partners get along with each other too. My friend has always been very eager to introduce me to his family especially his mom while I'm not even slightly excited about it. Maybe I'm weird but I just don't see the point. Every time his mom comes to town he tries to make plans for us to meet but I often either make an excuse or have something genuine going on that I use as an excuse not to go. Like why do I need to meet his mom or any member of his family? It kind of bothers me to leave my home and partner just to meet his mom.

[Oliverlogan263]

I can understand where you're coming from, but I also think it's a bit of an asshole move on your part to constantly make excuses to avoid meeting your friend's family. Even if you don't see the point, it clearly means a lot to him and his mom.

I get that as an expat, you're probably not as into the whole family dynamic thing, but your friend probably really values that connection and wants to share that part of his life with you. Refusing to even give it a try comes across as kinda cold and dismissive.

At the end of the day, they're important people in your friend's life, and making an effort to get to know them a bit better could really strengthen your friendship. Plus, it's just polite to meet the parents of someone you're so close with.

I know it's not the most exciting thing in the world, but sometimes we have to do things for our friends that aren't 100% about us. Why not try to make the best of it? Who knows, you might even end up enjoying it.

Ultimately, I think YTA here. Your friend is clearly hoping you'll be more open to it, and continually brushing it off is kind of a crappy thing to do. Give it a shot - it could end up being a nice experience. And if not, at least you can say you tried.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes, you are in the wrong here. 100% in the wrong.

The reason you need to meet his mom, is because he is your best friend. You know that this is something (evidently) quite important to him. It's not a matter of whether you fully get why it's important to him. That doesn't matter. You do it because if the situation were reversed; he would do it for you.

He only wants you to meet his mom, because he considers you an important part of his life. It's wrong to duck this meeting. It's important to someone you care about, and it's not all that hard to do.

You can bring your partner too (if he's willing to do that for you. He'll care even less about meeting your friend's mom).

Either way. You're being really selfish about this. If you care about your friend, this should be a no-brainer. I hope you end up changing your mind.

🙂