Guys, I cut my closest friend out of my life. I keep rethinking this situation was it right?

[Lalalove11]

She was pretty much my only friend but she did lie. The friendship was starting to really revolve around her and her problems. When she lied I had enough and it was sort of the breaking point. Her apologies felt also centred around herself and that undermined the sincerity from them. It highlighted the fact I didn't feel seen by her throughout our friendship and that really sucks to be honest. She wrote a vent about me and deflected everything. Then she apologised again. I was so done at that point. Now I blocked her because of all the unnecessary drama. However now I basically have no close friend and it's sad.

[MisterCake]

Off the top of my head, there's only one way a forum like GAG dot com can be of help to you on this. That's if you've already made the choice to cut her out and perhaps to find a new close friend.

The reason I'm thinking that is Internet culture has made generalizations typical. "You don't need that kind of toxicity in your life!" Sometimes affirmations like that help. If you get more comments along those lines, will you feel like they've helped you?

Seems like what would help you is for someone to understand the situation in some depth. Alas, good listeners are rare.

Specifics: she's been your closest friend for months or years or all your life? Is it okay to share (hints, at least on) what she lied about and how you caught her? You indicated that her self-centricity was a somewhat recent change, so what was good about the friendship before that? Could she have BPD?

(I'm not a shrink, so think of that last question as a serious shot in the dark. Please no one jump to conclusions about the friend just because I shared a thought.)

[Lalalove11]

She was an internet friend since 2021 and we met in person last year. Mm well she had a partner but also had a crush. She would constantly talk about her crush and wasn't sure if she wanted to be with her actual partner. She would also often ask me to read tarot on her crush. After a while it started to feel wrong, especially because she managed to get in contact with her crush and they were flirting online. She really wanted to meet him
I told her I just wasn't comfortable reading tarot on her crush anymore basically that was my firm boundary. Simple as that. She can do what she wants with her life but it's not something I approve of.
I'm aware it may make me sound morally righteous, I but I realised I didn't want to be friends with someone who openly admits to being 'sneaky'? Because then how could I trust her, especially around my own partner? So she said she broke up with her partner , and continued talking and asking me to read on the big crush she had. I went along thinking it was all okay. Truth is she was still with her partner for three months she continued to lie. 🤔 I don't get why she felt the need to hide that fact. Then I called her out on it.

So then I realised I'm friends with someone who says she is sneaky and laughs about it, and is okay not listening to my boundary so she can continue talking about her crushes 😅is not really someone I can consider a true friend. Perhaps we could've remained superficial friends. But I guess I was tired of being pulled into the drama at that point. There were other issues in the friendship already..

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I think it's like a breakup you would initiate, just because it's your only close friend, otherwise the loss would be more acceptable. Exactly like a breakup, you can feel sad, exactly like a breakup, there is a calling, to understand what you're sad about.

This calling could be: Am I sad because I'm lonely or am I sad because I still see a second chance for this relationship?

[Lalalove11]

Good question to ponder on. It's the former.. I'm sad due to the loneliness, which this ending highlighted to me. Also, I was always kind of alone in that friendship as it wasn't what I'd consider a true friendship

[Leonardo_Di_Vinci]

Losing a bestfriend is the most terrible thing that could ever happen, it is difficult to cope with but with passage of time you'll get used to it.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I don't get it why are you second guessing yourself

[Lalalove11]

I don't even know I guess I'm just surprised I made that abrupt decision but was probably right

[Bklynbadboy12]

You did what you thought was best and I'm proud of you. What you did was a direct result of how you felt. You decided you was gonna put up with that nonsense anymore

[Lalalove11]

Thanks.. yeah it was best for me.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Your so welcome

[bralesswonder]

First instincts are usually right