Why did growing up I used to see my Dad as this authoritarian strict Man but as an Adult I see him as such a cool Dad?

Question

I even see a lot of similar values and traits in my Partner that my Dad also has and I used to criticize. Growing up was tough for me, my Dad would never let me go out or have boyfriends I even left my home country to have some freedom and build my own career and since then he's always been very supportive and proud of me.

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

Maybe he WAS like that and eventually grew out of it or just didn't feel the need to be, anymore.
Mine was kinda like that, too. EVERYTHING I DID would get him severely pissed at me and he'd be screaming and yelling and throwing shit, destroying this and that. It was like watching a Hitler rant!! Sometimes, I thought maybe he WAS Hitler!! HOLY SHIT!! All I did was leave the room for 2:00 with the light on because I knew I was coming back!! In the meantime, my sisters could get away with murder and he never said a WORD to them about it!! He'd just blame me and start yelling, again!!
So, I had to deal with that from the time I was about 5 until I was into my early 30's!!
One day, after a particularly nasty screaming bout, the band, XTC put out a new album and there was a song on it called, "Hold Me, My Daddy". The next time he had one of his hissy fits, I decided to copy down the lyrics to the song on a sheet of paper and leave that on the kitchen table after he went to bed so it looked like I'd written the song myself and forgot to take it to my room with me. Next morning, he came down to get his coffee and read the paper and he saw the song and decided to read it. When I came down a couple hours later, it was posted on the fridge door with a couple magnets and, from then on, the yelling stopped!! The only time he got a bit miffed after that was if we were playing cards and I made a play he didn't understand.
A few months later, his sister-in-law came up for a visit from Texas and I spotted him walking through the back yard with her holding the song sheet in his hand, obviously discussing it with her!
A while later, his brother in Texas (a Lt. Col. in the Air Force) died and he was flying down for the funeral. As he and mom were about to head out to the airport, he said to me, "I'll bet you can't wait to get rid of me for a while." Without saying a word, I stepped up to him and gave him a big hug. Mom was standing behind me watching this. They left for the airport and, a few hours later, when mom came back, she told me, "When you hugged him, he was so surprised, you could've knocked him over with a feather!"

Mike_Whocheese_Harry · Accepted Answer

It's maturing. You stop having a childish self-centered and short-sighted mindset.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well, because when you have kids, you have to treat them in a way. Teach them in a way to be 10 times better than they are.
And sometimes.
Depending on. How he was raised, it might seem a little bit rough. But after the foundation is set, he knows he does the best. And you're on so now he could be a dad instead of a father

Hey believe me it was just as tough on him as it was on you.

There are parents that just don't give a s***There are parents who give too much of a shit and then there's the parents that teach well because I want you to succeed

Ironco · Answer

He did his job right then.  Now enjoy him.

jahaims · Answer

Because you went from an immature kid to an adult..

slatyb · Answer

Maybe he has mellowed. People do change.

Jennz6 · Answer

My dad was strict too

Anonymous · Answer

Do you talk to people here?

Why did growing up I used to see my Dad as this authoritarian strict Man but as an Adult I see him as such a cool Dad?

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