Am I being a bad friend/coworker if I skip the company Christmas party even though my coworker has nobody to go with?

[Anonymous]

Most people will have a plus one (spouse etc), and I know I should go because it's a company Christmas party at the company I work at. My coworker/friend really wants me to go because she has nobody to go with. But I don't want to go. Am I being a bad friend?

[DishLady]

If you're not feeling it then don't go. HOWEVER I have a possible compromise.

• Ask your friend why he/she wants to go. IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO THEM offer to stay till Time X and then leave.
• Have a tempting alternative to take your friend to.
• Remember to smile and have fun wherever you are.

I had to do this the other day bc it was a Friday night and I have better things to do than to attend that one event (hosted by a mutual friend but which usually draws several undesirable people I'd rather avoid). I didn't want to go, HOWEVER:

• I respect and support the friend hosting the event;
• my other good friend also does and wanted to go at least a little while.

Yesterday was the start of the BIG HOLIDAY PARTY season, though, so there were HUNDREDS of other places to be/go.

• I explained my reasons for not wanting to go;
• My friend accepted it and liked the alternative I offered, so we had a game plan;
• My friend knew who I was trying to avoid and sent a "warning text" to prepare me;
• I successfully avoided the person and we had a GREAT time connecting with the host as well as several of our old friends.
• We stuck to the plan and left at the designated time for a lovely dinner, wine, carols and laughs.

The outcome is that:

• We honored our friend and
• had an amazing night!

(What I'm saying is it's the holiday season. The season of giving. Be open to compromise.)

[Staximus]

Not wanting to go does not make you a bad person. Just because your friend wants to go doesn't mean you have to go

[Gwendoline]

You should go but slip away early.