Do you think men who hate their mothers...are guys to avoid dating?

[Anonymous]

What do you think it says about a man if he resents/hates/has a bad relationship with his own mom?

would you take this as a red flag?

someone said this to me the other day and I thought it was an interesting observation.

i'm not talking about guys who's mothers are honestly crazy or abused them I'm just talking about in general do not like their own mothers

[bibmichael1]

no it depends on what there mother was like. my mom was very cold uncareing and munipltive. I was hurt in the worst way you can hurt kid when I was a kid over and over agin from 6 to age 8 by a babysitter my mom told me to forget it happend nouthing would be done about it since it was a 18 year old girl that did it and her mom was my moms best friend to this day I will not let older women tuch me. my mother forsed me to do sports I hated it I had to do outher things I did not like to make her look good and god for bid I messed up my dad was not around much he was in the navy. so to anwser your qustion no if a guy dose not like or hate his mother its not a bad thing.

PS

i don't like my mom at she is gone now she passed in 1997 when I was 19 but I never hated her

[Asker]

Did you get any help for the trauma you suffered? you probably need to deal with it even though it's been awhile because it doesn't ever really go away it just manifests itself in different ways through your life. Sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry your mom didn't protect you. I would hate a parent who didn't protect me but that doesn't mean that it didn't affect the way you see women and I think it would be good for you to be able to work that relationship through even though she is gone.

[bibmichael1]

yes I am getting help now its only been in the last year or so that I can come out and talk about it

[Asker]

I'm really proud of you that could not have been easy.

[bibmichael1]

its taken 26 years to come clean about it I am 34 and I am a single dad of 2 I will do any thing to protect them I would do the same for any kid

[bibmichael1]

i will not go in to detail what was done to me but its was evel and sicking

[BCRanger10]

Generally speaking, men who have good relationships with their mothers are more likely to make good partners, but there are exceptions. Case in point, I had a friend who dated a guy who was a bit of a mama's boy, and yet he was an absolute dirtbag. I have another friend from college who doesn't get along terribly well with his mother, but he's a really great guy.

[ShootingStar5]

It depends on whether or not their mother actually deserves the hate. If she was a lazy alcoholic who didn't take care of him properly growing up, then obviously he has his reasons and that wouldn't really be a red flag to me in and of itself. But sometimes situations like that can just turn people rotten but that's another story.

However, if his mother tried to raise him properly and obviously cares about him and he still hates her, then yeah that definitely sets off some red flags. Especially if he's mean and/or disrespectful toward her. If a man can't even love his mother, then odds are he won't really love any other woman either.

[woohoo_friday]

I wouldn't necessarily see it as a red flag, but I would certainly want to know the reasons why. I think you can tell a lot about a person based on their relationship with their family.

[Asker]

that's what's interesting about it to me. I never really saw it as a red flag but once I thought about it I thought maybe it is something to consider? if he has a bad relationship with the one woman who is closest to him what would that mean with his other female relationships that are intimate and close? Just thought it was an interesting observation. I almost don't see how it wouldn't affect his other female relationships maybe not always in a negative way but it would affect them.

[sunbearmagic]

I think it depends on the situation. But in most situations yes.

[Asker]

I think it does sound kind of unfair to label guys with mommy issues as potential problems but also for how many years have girls with daddy issues been labeled that way (and for a lot for good reason I will say) I think the mommy issues just manifest in different ways that are just as destructive to a relationship it's just more under the radar and not so in your face.

[renemain]

Its a good idea to understand the relationships in his life. But worrying about that sounds a bit short sited(or unnecessary). Of course if you want to focus on mother issues, good luck. I would be more interested in all.

[Randomdude84]

Depends on if they have mommy issues. If not and they have reason to hate her, and just dont care I think its fine.

I say I hate my mom, but truly just dont care one way or another. she's just another human I share the planet with, but I did once have a girl tell me it was a huge issue and red flag. Maybe just see if you like the guy enough to date and dont worry about trivial stuff unless it affects your relationship.

[kheserthorpe]

A guy who is too distant or too close to his mother, you might want to understand _why_.

[Asker]

I know a guy who hates his mother because he feels she's the reason his parents marriage ended because she asked for the divorce (for good reason and he knows all the reasons/abuse/infidelity) but he thinks she should have sucked it up and kept the family together. I think that's one to avoid...I just never really thought about it until it came up and then I was like "oh yeah...that might be a red flag to consider" of course taking into account why like you suggested

[kheserthorpe]

In his case, its not the relationship with his mother, its maybe the fact that he thinks abuse/infidelity are not reasons to split.

Anyway, 'red flags' are not deal breakers. 'red flags' are warning signs, to investigate.

[Asker]

I think they would only be deal breakers if you've dealt with a guy who hated his mother in the past and it didn't go well. I think our relationships with our parents mold who we are going to be and whether we have good or bad reasons for hating a parent it does make us who we are and change the way we see things...and maybe it changes the way some men see women in general and that's something to consider (see it with girls all the time who have bad relationships with dads right?sometimes wild )

[kheserthorpe]

Never had a relationship with a girl with a bad relationship with her dad. I feel like I'm missing out :/

[Asker]

wild isn't always a good thing LOL

[kheserthorpe]

I know. But the opposite isn't so great either.

[Asker]

you mean a girl who's 'un wild'?

[kheserthorpe]

Yes, if that were a word.

[Asker]

lol it should be a word ;) wild girls are exhausting. Yes they bring the fun but they also bring the crazy. Sort of like a girl wanting a bad boy not as fun as it sounds but there is fun to be had but the bad times are so much more extreme and exhausting.

[kheserthorpe]

A lot of married women with kids seem to be able to become less wild but still bring plenty of crazy. Winning combination :/

[Asker]

maybe they're crazy out of boredom not because they're actually wild? that's an entirely different animal. sometimes unwild women create chaos cause they get a rush out of the drama. Wild women never have time to get bored lol

[Haniff_The_Feeler]

Agreed. I hate my mother because she said she's tired of me, more than once.
She did try to raise me properly though.

So, I hate her. Feel free to ignore me. XD

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

I hate Luis but that doesn't change much