I went out with a woman for about a year and then she broke up with me. I admit that at times I took her for granted and did not communicate my feelings towards her. I never told her that I loved. It wasn't until she broke up with me that I realized what I lost. I poured my heart out to her in a handwritten letter and then e-mail. I then asked her in person if there was anything I could do to change her mind, but she said no. She said she just didn't feel the passion and love for me needed for a long term relationship. She then said she would like us to remain friends. I know people use this as a line to get through a breakup, so I told her truthfully that I was never friends with an ex, and that because of my feelings for her, it would be hard for me to suddenly be her friend. This angered her and she asked that we cease communication for months. I respected her decision. The problem was that we travel in similar circles with mutual friends and I knew there would be events down the road in which we probably run into each other. Anyway, 2 months passed with no contact and I attended an event where I knew should be. I was nervous, but I approached her, gave a friendly hello and asked about her family. It was very brief and she smiled back and also said hello. She didn't ask many questions of me. The next time I saw her about a week or so later, we made more friendly chat.
Then entire month passed. One of my friends suggested that I should have called her within that month to test the waters to see if she wanted a reconciliation by pouring my heart out to her again. However, I was reluctant for several reasons: she was the one who dumped me, so maybe this was pride speaking, but I thought she was the one who should express some sort of interest of reconciliation. I would have taken a simple text or email as encouragement. Secondly, she said she wanted to remain friends, so I didn't want to misrepresent her cordiality as anything other than that. Finally, she told one of my friends that she was the one who broke up with me, as if there should be no confusion. I thought this was rather gratuitous and immature.
Anyway, when I saw her a month later, I approached her to say hi as usual. She was then cold to me . I wanted to show that it didn't get to me and that there were no hard feelings on my part, so I went to give her a friendly embrace at the end of the night (I wasn't sure when I would see her again). While she did not recoil, she didn't smile or hug me back. I was hurt. I later found out she under the impression was dating someone. I started dated months after she dumped me, but nothing serious. I also hung out with a female platonic friend in the presence with one of my ex's friends. But this was not done on purpose or to make my ex jealous. We all just happened to be out at the same place. But, why would she care if she dumped me and said she wanted to remain friendly? She claimed to a mutual friend she is not dating anyone. TY
Then entire month passed. One of my friends suggested that I should have called her within that month to test the waters to see if she wanted a reconciliation by pouring my heart out to her again. However, I was reluctant for several reasons: she was the one who dumped me, so maybe this was pride speaking, but I thought she was the one who should express some sort of interest of reconciliation. I would have taken a simple text or email as encouragement. Secondly, she said she wanted to remain friends, so I didn't want to misrepresent her cordiality as anything other than that. Finally, she told one of my friends that she was the one who broke up with me, as if there should be no confusion. I thought this was rather gratuitous and immature.
Anyway, when I saw her a month later, I approached her to say hi as usual. She was then cold to me . I wanted to show that it didn't get to me and that there were no hard feelings on my part, so I went to give her a friendly embrace at the end of the night (I wasn't sure when I would see her again). While she did not recoil, she didn't smile or hug me back. I was hurt. I later found out she under the impression was dating someone. I started dated months after she dumped me, but nothing serious. I also hung out with a female platonic friend in the presence with one of my ex's friends. But this was not done on purpose or to make my ex jealous. We all just happened to be out at the same place. But, why would she care if she dumped me and said she wanted to remain friendly? She claimed to a mutual friend she is not dating anyone. TY
Updates
+1 y
Thanks for the responses and apologies for being long-winded. I guess in the back of my mind, I was hoping she would come around, especially since she was being somewhat friendly to me previously. Her last interaction with me left me doubting/second-guessing myself: should I have called her and asked her for coffee/yet another chance? Even though she dumped me and months passed, should I have not brought a date around to an event (my ex was not at the event, but people she knew were there)?
Updates
+1 y
but do the dumpers really get jealous if the dumpee is dating again? it seems completely irrational. whether that's the reason is now cold to me or not, it's sad to know there is really no hope left. but, how do I interact with her from now on? I have always approached her to say a simple hello. now, I do not feel comfortable doing so. at the same time, I do not want to be rude and ignore her. perhaps a simple nod if we happen to make eye contact at a future event?
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