Signs you've been friend zoned?

[Hidden_P]

So... was having a chat with my friend. And she came out with 'I think I got friend zoned'. And it made me think. What are some of the signs, more subtle and not, that you may or may give out. Eg. she said because this guy had called her 'mate' it definitely was a friend zone-age. But I argue, for some guys it's like girls's 'hun'. Thoughts?

What are the signs you've been friend zoned? If one of the tips you come up with is gender specific, please state if it's mainly men or women who do this.

Thanks guys and girls!

[markml]

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think that guys do the "friend zone" thing.

At least, I don't know of a single guy who thinks they have a "friend zone". Not in the sense that women talk about "friend zones".

Guys are pretty deliberate in what they do. If a guy is not making a move on you, there is almost always a very specific reason. There could be many different reasons, but as far as I know, there's no generic "friend zone" that guys have for the ladies they associate with.

One possible reason is that the guy is clueless about how you feel about him, and he doesn't want to risk screwing up the friendship to find out. Believe it or not, guys do value things other than sex, and they value having friends. That's why you should never offer "friends with benefits" to any guy, because that's a sure-fire way never to have a deeper relationship with a guy. Many guys would avoid relationships completely, if they could get everything else they want.

Another possible reason is that a guy does not think a relationship with you would work.

Yet another reason is timing. He does like you, but the timing isn't right to make a move.

Or maybe the guy is currently seeing or pursuing someone else. If the guy doesn't want to be perceived as player, he has to be careful not to break friendship territory with too many women at the same time.

Last but not least, the guy may just not be attracted to you. This is something the guy knows when he first met you, and you can't really change it. Of course, it's not completely binary either. The guy may think you're not exactly his type when he first met you, but over time his opinion may change. That doesn't mean he'll break the friendship barrier right away. He'll look for the right opportunity.

The bottom line is that being "just friends" with a guy shouldn't be the end of the world. It doesn't mean the guy has never considered any other possibilities. He probably has. He just hasn't told you. If you want anything to happen, you need to figure out why he just wants to just be friends.

[Hidden_P]

Awesome answer. So, if you feel you've been friend zoned, but as guys don't do it as much, what should you do? Give him space, let him know, ask him out, what's your thoughts?

[markml]

Well, pulling away is too manipulative and asking him out, while slightly better, might be too pushy. I would "let him know" though, and I would do it in the form of a non-confrontational but completely unambiguous question. Something like, "Have you ever asked yourself why we can't be more than friends?"

[Anonymous]

I don't think calling a girl 'mate' is friend zone. I'm not British, but they seem to use the word 'mate' in different ways than we Americans use friend. I mean, it would sound awkward if I called a pal "Hey friend, let's go for beers." But Brits and Aussies seem to use "mate" often the same way we Americans greet people like, "Hey man, what's up?" Granted, I haven't met tons of Brits, but that's how they use it, it seems.

And friend zone signs--you get asked for dating advice. You get told about past dates or griped to about ex's. A lack of "Heyy" when he or she texts you, haha. Of course, if someone texts you and says, "Hey you," or like "Heyyyy Alice (insert your name)" that's basically code for, "We need to get a room. Now."

[Hidden_P]

Hmm OK. And yes, you are spot on, mate in UK and Aus is more like "whats up dude?" I heard on the radio the other day actually, the Hangover actors were being interviewed and apparently you only see mate as in... to mate each other?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, lol. 'Mate' in common language never caught on in the USA, just for sex and "that animal's mate" like that.

[Anonymous]

You are friend zoned if the other person:

1. doesn't make you a priority to see/contact

2. talks to you about other datable prospects

3. allows him/herself to exhibit "ugly" behavior in your presence

4. is walking with you and texting/looking at other people (that they find attractive)

5. comments about how attractive other people are

6. asks you why YOU aren't seeing anyone special

7. says he/she wants to keep things casual and light (this can also be F*B* status)

8. tells you he/she is not interested in relationships

9. is sloppy or overly casual in their dress when you're around

10. never compliments you

11. never does anything romantic

12. never shows you affection/tenderness

13. is more goofy than sincere

14. doesn't "stare" or make lengthy eye contact with you

15. doesn't go out of his/her way to do you any favors

16. any combination of the above

17. anything along the same lines as the above.

[Hidden_P]

Yours and the guys, markml are both awesome answers. Torn between the two of you who gets BA!

[Opinion Owner]

Lol. Life's not easy. Flip a coin?

[Opinion Owner]

I've seen guys do the friend zone thing -- or try to, either because they're not looking for relationships (and don't want to fess up to needing a particular girl's companionship), or because there's some circumstance (work/life usually, but marriage in one case that I know of) that prevents him from acting on his instinct to pounce and get the girl.

[NoirPrincess]

you get called other names for friend like : buddy,bro,dude,homegirl

[dan87]

"markml" pretty much got it on the money and the anonymous girl who wrote the numbered reasons about the friend zone is also quite accurate

[Anonymous]

It would be if there's no flirting involved anymore.