My ex saw me and ran away! Why do I feel so bad?

[Turnerik3493]

Tonight I was at a baseball game with my friend. I knew she was there, but I didn't know where she would be sitting, so I just sat in left field like I always do. I was talking to my friend when I looked over and saw my ex's friend's boyfriend, then saw my ex's friend she just laughed and smiled and waved, and then I saw my ex turn and run the other way. I texted her friend saying well this is awkward. As I saw my ex, my heart raced, I could feel my stomach drop. I felt like she thinks I'm stalking her. I mean the stadium holds 44,000 people so there was a small chance I would run into her. I bought the tickets 2 months before the season started, and had planned to go with my buddy a week before the game. I felt like crying. She went from promising me forever to three months later not being able to sit two sections over from me at a baseball game. I'm just in pain, and it sucks. She will text me like every few weeks when she needs something from me. Yesterday she texted me because she was freaking out over college I of course agreed to help her. I want to be nice to her in hopes of getting her back, but it just pains me that she will ignore me, and then when she needs help, she's the one she goes to. I know next week she will text me with help for her online summer course. Part of me wants to tell her to **** off, but I don't know if I should. I love this girl, and I know she hasn't dated anyone, she was the third wheel tonight. I keep giving myself hope, but I don't know how long I can put up with this misery I feel.

[gemsglitter]

Oh darling. She's using you! Even you've noticed she only calls when she needs something. To her, you're the security net, she can always fall back on you knowing you'll put her first and be there. A great trait, but she's taking advantage of you.

She ran away probably not because she thought you were stalking her, but because she didn't want to get into a situation where she would have to talk to you and sit down with you. That would have meant she still had interest. She's probably moved on into a different direction but is stringing you along just in case. She was probably shocked and most likely feeling guilty. And as for that friend that waved to you, your ex must have had a few choice words with her for getting your attention.

Why do you feel bad? It's evident you want her back, but it's also obvious she's not the best girl out there for you. You want her but she's done and moved on. I commend you for being such a great guy, that you would go out of your way to help an ex. But, you need to have a talk with her the next time she calls you up for something. Lay it down for her. You can tell her that you have nothing against helping her out, but she can't rely on you for every little thing. She has her life and you have yours. You've got to forget about this girl, she's not there for you anymore. Move past the history with her, less contact usually makes moving on easier. With her in your life so constantly, it's no wonder you feel like she'll come back.

You need to give yourself a different hope, a hope that WHEN you move past her, you hope to find that girl that's out there waiting for a chance with you.

[Hannah591]

She's no good for you. You've noticed that she uses you when she wants something so don't be pushed around by her and stick up for yourself. I know it's hard to let her go and when she comes to you for something, you hope she'll fall in love you with again but it doesn't work that way. If she's running away from you when you bump into each other, then she's not going to miraculously fall for you again. That's the honest truth and you need to accept it so you can start the process of moving on. If you hold onto the past, you'll never move forward and it sounds like you're really bringing yourself down by holding onto her. If she texts you for something, ignore her completely. I understand it'll be hard but it's the only way for you to move on. She doesn't love you anymore.

[purplefire97]

Well, she's using you. I've been through the same thing with my ex boyfriend. When they want something, they're nice, if they don't they're like," who are you? Are you an alien?" don't let her use you. You seem like a pretty good guy as it is. I do believe that she is no good for you, especially when she treats you that badly. And honestly, if she's going to run away and play the "oh he's going to forgive me anyway" card, let her go. I wish you all the best.

[martyfellow]

She's going through a lot of emotional upheaval now, so put up with it for a while. I agree, there's a limit to howlong she can continue to avoid you when she wants to, and ask you or help when she feels like it..it's really stringing you along.

Set a deadline for when you'll tell her to stop asking for your help; you're no longer even friends, and you can't handle her behavior emotionally.

No need to be rude to her; phrase it as genetly as you can. I'd say another month would be a reasonable deadline, but you know the situation and what's called for.

[Prof_Don]

This girl is a selfish user, you're investing time and effort to someone that ignores you. As painful as it will be, you're going to have her cut her off.

Frankly she is being disrespectful to you and doesn't seem to give a damn.

If this was a GUY behaving this way, would you accept this behavior? Think about it.

[Tracbam]

Shes knows you have a soft spot for her that's why she takes advantage of you by asking for your help when she's needs it, because you will help. She doesn't want you anymore but she knows you still care, that's why she's asking for your help. She's just using you. She ran because she feels guilty. Wake up and move on with somebody who will appreciate you for who you're. Besides you have no reason to feel bad.

[Anonymous]

You need to tell her to f*** off like you want to. She sounds like she is just using you. I think the seeing you and running away should be enough to confirm what's going on. what's the point in feeling like crap for someone who doesn't care, because she doesn't. If she still cared for you, she wouldn't have run off if she were just texting you for help. She sounds like a controlling bitch, who is still doing it even when you're single.

[Anonymous]

I think you should have a talk with her. The next time she texts you asking for something, tell her that you'd love to help her but you shouldn't because you feel like she's sending mixed signals. Tell her that you really care for her, but if she doesn't want to be with you you need to distance yourself.

Either she'll give you that and you can move on, or she'll put up a fight and may suggest working things out.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say she turned away and tried to avoid you because it was also difficult for her to see you, but then you say she contacts you asking for help? Makes no sense. If she has the guts to ask for your help, she'd better greet you anywhere!

Sorry, I know you like her and it's hard to hear, but she doesn't sound like a great girl. You have nothing to feel bad about, except maybe liking her... I know the feeling >__<

[RositaV]

She doesn't want to be with you, and yet she is using you when she needs something. She probably ran away because she was embarrassed. Use this event as your excuse. Its the perfect way out. Don't answer her calls anymore. Move on.

[Thiskindagirl]

I know you said you love her but it seems like she is just using you so you need to face the fact that you should move on so she will know that you aren't just waiting for her. To me it's like she sees you hoping to get her back so she is going to take advantage of you. I don't know her so I have no idea what she is really like. But I suggest you move on and show her that you are there to help but you are busy sometimes and your life doesn't evolve around when she needs you or not

[sillyphilly]

Well you are one bad ass if she saw you and then ran away!

Basically do you know why she ran? is it because of you or could it be a family emergency or something else? Don't let your anxiety consume you because you might not be the actual problem :) best to ask her yourself!

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Don't sweat it. You are a fool to continue to help her out. You are not getting her back. She is using you. If you want to continue to be an idiot, by all means don't let me stand in your way.

[JohnnyBGood]

Tell her to go to hell for knowing you are still into her and still stringing you along when it is clearly hurting you!

You deserve better! She's a bitch.

[Steelcore1085]

Dude, I suggest you to tell her to f*** off. She's definitely using you, and women who do that don't deserve attention. Sorry, but that's the best way to handle it. Good luck, dude!

[toulouse]

she was with her boyfriend, so felt awkward in your presence

anyways she sounds like a jerk.

[Hannah591]

It was his ex's friend's boyfriend btw.

[GerryXxx]

This girl is stringing you along, she doesn't want you she only wants what you got sounds crude but its true she's no good for you hun

[Anonymous]

don't feel bad you can't control how she feels about you.. you're not a bad guy.

[loverlove123]

because you made her feel bad to