Guys, would it bother you if your girlfriend kissed a guy friend on the cheek?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and he is a junior in college and I am a freshman. We go to school 5 hours apart from each other and he is very involved in his fraternity. My roommate (who is single) and I were out with some of the frat guys and our other girlfriends here last night and we had all been drinking and someone took a picture of my roommate and I kissing her closest GUY friend on the cheek, which was of course a joke even though people tend to say I'm a bit "flirty"..I feel kind of like bad about it and don't know what to say to my boyfriend. Does anyone have any thoughts? Like, guys would you care if your girlfriend like super jokingly kissed a guy on the cheek? THANKS!

[OldWhiteDudeSwag]

Resident old dude here. I am divorced and have seen a lot...

I am dating a woman currently who is amazing in countless ways. I am 100% faithful to her, and naturally have the same expectation in return.

We are of different cultural backgrounds, and we live about 4 hours apart, but we still manage to see each other frequently, and talk, text, and video chat constantly. Our personalities are very compatible.

Recently when she arrived at work, we were still on the phone and I heard her greeting a co-worker. They were making small talk for a few seconds, and I could swear I heard him make the "M-Muh" kissing sound. In fact I was sure. She is early 40's, very beautiful. This man is older... maybe 60s.

I don't think for a second that she would DO anything with him... but when I heard that kissing sound, I waited until she was done talking to him.

"I could swear I heard him kiss you." She admitted it immediately, that he kissed her on the cheek.

I told her I wasn't comfortable with another man's lips ANYWHERE on her.

She started trying to explain that in her culture, it's very common.

I pointed out that he is NOT of the same cultural background she is.

She played it off, and said it's nothing, and for her I believe it is nothing... but for a man? His lips get to be on my girlfriend's beautiful skin... who KNOWS what that does to him?

I explained to her that I did not agree with this, and that if it is family I would understand. But this is a married man, I am 200 miles away, and I told her I am very uncomfortable with it because of the message it COULD send to another man.

One thing I have learned in my 50 years is to BE VERY CLEAR when something is bothering you. If you are too worried that you may offend him, you are likely to act like it doesn't bother you in order to avoid conflict. In the long run, you are not doing yourself any favors. Tell him as plainly as possible that you are not at all okay with this.

This isn't jealousy. This is giving respect, expecting it in return, and preventing awkward situations and hurt feelings in the future.

[Prof_Don]

I wouldn't like it...she shouldn't be showing physical affection like that to no other guy but me and male family members.

You see it as a simple innocent kiss on the cheek, most guys will see it as giving your affection away to someone else he should exclusively have (since he is your boyfriend).

As I say on this site over the years, if you want to do what you want, stay single.

If you can't refrain from kissing male friends on the cheek to satisfy your boyfriend's emotional relationships needs, then you don't deserve a boyfriend at all. That sacrifice isn't asking much at all IMHO.

[ryanarmitage92]

You’re right man I wouldn’t like it and didn’t like it when a guy automatically assumed that it was okay to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek, my girlfriend went off it with me and I said to her you wouldn’t like it if I kissed your friends on the cheek so why wouldn’t it not bother me.

[niyaha11]

tbh, it would offend me. Cause it just makes me look bad in general. For example, what if I came to your college to visit you and met all the friends you were with that day; people would have that idea in the back of their heads that I'm okay being with a girl who flirtatiously acts with no self control- I generally don't mind my girlfriend flirting at all if she flirts with class and shows her sense of humor or whit. But I cannot tolerate my girlfriend looking like she has no class at all especially when it comes to kissing another guy.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I was with this girl that I really like, I wouldn't care about no pictures or jokes. I wouldn't do anything that might ruin my relationship. I wouldn't even sit next to a girl or make sure I sit next to one that has her boyfriend around. I would think about everything that might get my girlfriend angry.

Just go to him and don't let that go away even if he says nothing about it, because he might throw it in your face later on. He'll remember all these things.

AND

Being flirty is okay up to the point you get into a relationship. From then on IT'S BAD. So stop bringing that as an argument. Because it's not. It's not a disease. You can control it. You can chose to be flirty or not...

[ZanyZounds]

I wouldn't mind especially as its messing around and only on the cheek, on the lips would be a different matter! I'd only get annoyed if my girlfriend didn't tell me about it then I found out by seeing the picture somewhere because then it gives the impression of hiding something.

[ryanarmitage92]

A guy went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek today when we went to drop off her cousin, his girlfriend and his friend off at her cousins friends house. Her cousin had already gotten a kiss on the cheek which is normal I guess as it’s her family member so it’s fine. When the guy in question asked for a kiss on the cheek I said no you can not but he lent over for kiss on the cheek and she was going to let him when d have been together for six months now and things are serious. I pushed his face away from hers, maybe I overacted I guess but I agree with prof don she shouldn’t be showing physical affection like that to no other guy but me and male family members.

[cheesesteak7]

In general, depends on the situation - who the guy is, the trust/understanding level my girlfriend and I have, etc.

In your situation? Yeah, I probably wouldn't be too fond of that. But as 1inmillion said, I'm probably some douche who's banging other girls anyway, so it's all gravy!

[Theguyoverthere]

I think it just sends a bad message in general. You're committed to one guy. That should be it.

I have heard some families kiss each other on the cheek as tradition though so it could depend on the context. As a "joke" though? Some girls can taking joking too far. "We were joking around and just happened to end up naked." Get what I mean? Plus you're drinking, impaired judgment.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t like it because sometimes it gets too close to the mouth or sometimes by accident It actually hits the lips not necessary sometimes the guy does in on purpose to actually kiss her, and they actually kiss lip to lip some guys test the waters to see her reaction to see if she’s into it

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine if it's some European custom maybe. But if there's a picture of her at a party on Facebook kissing some guy on the cheek, who knows what else might have happened after the picture was taken. Pretty lame if you ask me...thank god I don't go for those flirty college girls, at least seriously anymore LOL

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I wouldn't like that. I know this might sound too possesive but I don't want to see her lips on anyone but me. I might be able to deal with a hug though, assuming it was fast.

[idkitsausername]

If he understands that you where being silly, then I couldn't personally care less. Unless you don't kiss him, which I'm sure you do.

[Anonymous]

No. Why should I? I kiss friends in the cheek and it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't bother me at all whether my girlfriend kisses her friends in the cheek or not.

[cavmanier]

Yeah I don't think it's good. Put yourself in his situation.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Just as 99% of girls would flip out if their boyfriend kissed any other girl on the cheek! If my girlfriend did that...she could find another bf.

[Anonymous]

Absoutely.

I would be severly pissed off as I would hate that my girlfriend is kissing another guy - doesn't matter that it wasn't on the lips; having your lips on his skin would piss me off

[theblondeguy]

kinda if I thought the dude was more attractive than me but generally no...it wouldn't even be grounds for a fight or argument...

[1inmillion]

If he is in a frat, he is probably f*cking sl*ts behind your back anyway

[Sparkie460]

A kiss on the cheek is a lot different than a kiss on the lips. It wouldn't bother me.

[Hamburgers]

If your ass ain't French or Italian kissing a French or Italian you're out the door.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's like me kissing my girlfriend's friends on the cheek. Plus it display the wrong image of what type of girl, I am with.

[Michaelmwm19]

Yes it would hurt me.

[Asker]

ahhh why? like could you explain to me? it's OK I just want to know and like what I should say to him...because he saw it on twitter but we haven't really talked about it much!

[Michaelmwm19]

Because you put your lips on anther man. And it hurts seeing someone you love or care about do something sweet or intimate with anther person, it would hurt me because I think cheek kisses are a sweet gesture and it would just plain hurt me.