Beards. Beards. We get it, your body produces testosterone. But we're living in the age of technology where razors are accessible. Why act like you're a cave man?
1. Doesn't Look Good
It doesn't look good. The beard is a horrendous collage of old food, dried saliva, and gnarls. Ew, y'know? Studies suggest that beards are as dirty as toilets. 
2. Gender is a social construct and beards are misogynistic.
Men with beards are actually more sexist on average. Those misogynistic pigs!
3. Makes you hot in summer.
I mean hot as in you're going to get heat stroke and die.
4. You cannot access your chin.
Don't you miss your chin?
5. Parents will shield their kids' eyes when passing by your beard on the street.
All beards are at risk for getting lice.

6. Women do not find it attractive.
They just don't.
7. A beard makes any man look like an escaped convict.
That's not charming.

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