I Don’t Want to Be Called Beautiful!

I prefer to not hear compliments about my looks from anyone, including my partner. I don’t speak for all girls. I’m just sharing my perspective and I hope it helps other girls.

I don’t find myself beautiful

When I look in the mirror, I don’t see a beautiful person. I’m very realistic about where I stand and I don’t exactly feel completely comfortable with it, but it’s just the way it is. No, I don’t lack confidence or self-esteem. I just don’t need to hear nice things I don’t agree with just to feel better about myself. I don’t want to hear nice lies just to cover the truth because it all doesn’t sound genuine to me.

Truth in a dictionary
Truth in a dictionary

I’m not conventionally pretty

It’s just that I don’t look like a model or one of the pretty popular girls. I know I would need to get tons of plastic surgery just to look like the idealistic woman. I’m average looking just like most people. That doesn’t mean I’ll be single forever because it’s very obvious that most average looking people do end up with someone. The only thing that’s important in a relationship is being sexually and romantically attracted to each other. I don’t get the obsession or the point of wanting your partner to think that you’re beautiful on an objective standard.

Bell Curve…
Bell Curve…

It’s a shallow compliment

The way I look shouldn’t be the most important thing about me. I barely have any control over my genes. I’d rather be complimented on things that are inside my control.


7|3
2548

Most Helpful Guys

  • "The way I look shouldn’t be the most important thing about me."
    Someone complimenting you on your looks doesn't mean that they think that your looks are what matters the most. Should people only compliment you on what you think is the most important thing about you? Then you won't get many compliments...

    1|1
    0|0
    • I don’t expect people to compliment me at all and if they compliment me it doesn’t have to be on what I think is most important. It’s not that hard to compliment someone on what they do.

  • Wait a minute, are you actually complaining about being complimented? That kind of makes you sound like an asshole. Like "Oh man, I hate that people are just so nice to me for no reason at all, the struggle is real."

    2|2
    1|0
    • It’s not my fault I don’t like hearing lies. That does meant make me an asshole and I don’t consider this a “struggle”

    • How do you know it's a lie? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you've surely heard that before, well it's true. It means that you don't get to decide what other people's definitions of beauty are. And if you have a problem with people complimenting your appearance, then I'm sorry, but you also don't get to decide what other people like about you. Thinking you can just pick and choose other people's preferences and deeming their words lies if you don't agree with them, that's what would make you an asshole. Unless you're suggesting you can read people's minds and so you do in fact know what they truly think, in which case might I suggest Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters?

    • I have red hair and growing up I got a lot of cold shoulders from girls and I had no clear indication why. I always had a suspicion that while I did have a baby face making me look really young, the Red hair was just not as attractive to most girls. However some girls like threw themselves at me and said I was gorgeous with the Red hair. The problem was there was never some like sign above their head saying Likes Red heads, dislikes red heads. I basically just ended up with poor self esteem because I mostly didn't get great results. The thing I've come to realize is that there are SOOO many attraction preferences and I am just not some girls type. However to some I am Perfectly their type and they think I am a 10. The only rating that matters is the girl/guy that actually digs the look and style and personality YOU already are. Just because you don't believe it doesn't mean they are lying because you might dig you over a girl model etc. Being mean when they are nice is unattractive.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I undersatnd part 1 and 2, but not part 3.
    What's wrong with being complimented for the way you are born?
    If something, it means that you naturally "superior".
    It's not like if someone likes you for the way you look, it means that they don't like you for the way you are.
    Honestly if I found out my ex didn't think me to be good looking, I would have dumped him for my own and his sake.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Because I don’t agree with it. If you don’t agree with something somebody says, doesn't mean that you find something wrong with it? I find so many things wrong with compliments I don’t agree with. I don’t want others to tell me I’m naturally ”superior” because it’s not something that would personally make me feel better about myself.

  • I don't know, I see your point and to each their own but I don't think being called beautiful is a shallow compliment. Not from the right person it's not. It doesn't always mean the outside, it also means the inside in a lot of cases. And being beautiful on the outside doesn't mean looking like a model or being average. You, in my opinion, should like the way you look and think it's okay for someone to like the way you look. It comes with self-love, knowing your value, and having confidence. But if that's how you feel then I salute you for sharing. Have a good day.

    3|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 46

  • Some of these women are like apple phone, take away what we love in the first place. No headphones jack, no home button, future, taking away charging port. for wireless port.
    With them is can't show your emotions, can't take compliments, they want someone to get know them but judge others in 2 seconds. Uuuuugh! God why. Grateful and gratitude are traits that dying right now.

    0|4
    0|0
  • I find this mildly insulting to those of us who consider it a matter of being polite and sincere to say that compliments are lies. Beauty is 100% subjective and I DO MEAN 100%... If someone calls you beautiful that is high praise. If they call you hot or sexy they're only referring to your body, but beauty is a whole other ballgame. Beauty refers to the way in which you carry yourself. It refers to your mannerisms, your personality, etc. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as the saying goes, and beauty is more than skin deep. Both of these sayings are true. Yes I would find compliments of "attractive," "sexy," and "hot," a bit insulting but beauty does not refer to how attractive you are. It refers to how beautiful you are. I know that might not make sense but there is a very distinct difference though it is a difficult one to describe.

    When it comes down to it I take issue fundementally with the notion that "beauty" or being called beautiful is limited to looks. Of course your appearance doesn't define you, but the thing about beauty is that it doesn't conform to convention and it is more than just your looks. At the very least, this is how I've always seen it. Beauty is independent of how attractive you are. Whether people see it or not it's sort of subjectively objective if that makes sense. To a person that considers you beautiful... you are ALWAYS beautiful. Regardless of your appearance or of trends you will always be beautiful to one who considers you beautiful.

    0|1
    0|0
  • "No, I don’t lack confidence or self-esteem."

    I doubt that. Beauty doesn't come only from your external looks, but also, from your internal mindset.
    A positive person 6 is more beautiful than a nasty ass 9. I mean how beautiful can someone be with a screwface all the time.

    Beauty is a VERY subjective thing, so who is to say that you are NOT beautiful. No one. At the same time, no one has to say you are, but they do because they MUST see something good in you, rather than on you.

    2|3
    0|0
  • The problem with your post is that people are not objectively beautiful. We are culturally programmed. That's why in other cultures, there are different standards of beauty. As the human race bleed over more and more, those cultural standards become less distinct. But where there is more isolation, you can still see divergence.

    My ex did not fit conventional standards. I still think she was one of the most beautiful women I ever saw.

    1|1
    0|0
  • that mostly sounds like a damned healthy attitude to have, but for one point..
    when a person falls in love, the subject of it really does appears more beautiful.
    when a person looks at a photograph of a their partner (a thing that is nothing of you other than appearance) it stimulates the loveyness parts of the brain.

    so, appearance isn't who you are, but it's part of what connects who you are to others, so don't resent that you have one.

    that's my only note, but otherwise kudos.

    1|1
    0|0
  • You may not find yourself beautiful. You may not be beautiful according to social standards but it doesn't mean your partner is a lier, if he calls you beautiful. I am Turk and i want to share a turkish saying. about this. Its English translation is like that. "Beautiful is the one who the heart loves"

    3|0
    0|0
  • Just say 'thank you'. Gratitude is one of those desirable traits to develop. Complaining about everything is not.

    3|4
    0|0
  • "The only thing that’s important in a relationship is being sexually and romantically attracted to each other."
    That's a pretty shallow thing to say for someone that doesn't want to be complimented shallowly

    0|4
    0|0
  • You sound more upset at compliments, and insecure than anything.. You say you ain't insecure, but this whole whole screams "insecurity".. I get the premise of what you were sayin, but I didn't exactly agree wit the execution..

    2|0
    0|0
  • Awesome! That's what I've always espoused. Conventionally attractive people simply won the genetic lottery - they did not work hard for their good looks - they got it from their parents. Why do they deserve praise for something they did not have to work hard for? Just like your height, or the color of your eyes, or your natural hair color, etc.

    Someone who's worked hard to get to where they are, or who has dedicated years to the honing of their craft, who has mastered this or that and is the best in their field - now THAT's deserving of praise.

    Keep it up!

    2|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    36

What Girls Said 23

  • I appreciate it when my guy tells me I'm beautiful, I know he means it! Wait until your pregnant, and starting to think and feel fat, when he tells me how beautiful I look or I just look pretty melts my heart!

    0|1
    0|0
  • I agree, the way you look shouldn't be the most important. But it has some importance. You want to hear the right compliment from the right person. Until that comes along, everything will sound ungenuine and meaningless.

    1|1
    0|0
  • You don't find compliments sincere because you're positive you aren't beautiful, right?
    Well although I wouldn't consider myself beautiful or pretty, I do like compliments off my partner, but that's it, although I love the idea people think I am beautiful, I struggle to take compliments.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Okay, then, you're ugly.

    Feel better? No, you don't. It's okay to not want compliments all the time, but this really is not a true problem. Go see a therapist.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Well, all I got to say is no one beats me up on my looks worse than me. We are our own worse critics.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don’t think I’m beautiful and I like being called beautiful if others think I am.

    I’m sorry you don’t feel the same :(

    0|2
    0|0
  • I understand where you are coming from but you need to understand you don't need to look like a supermodels from the Victoria secret runway you are beautiful and if someone can't see that then fuck them!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't mind those compliments as long as compliments are still given in other areas about me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i understand what you are saying, but dont you think some people may think you're beautiful even though you dont? that doesn't mean they are lying to you

    0|0
    0|0
  • You put it together and it sounds good, but it doesn't make much sense. How you see yourself and how others see you are so different sometime, it's good to hear someone else and how they see you.
    Why would you consider a compliment to be shallow if it's coming from someone that truly adores you and has your best interest at heart?
    I do agree in a relationship being romantically and sexually attracted to one another is important, but it all starts with how we look to one another, before the falling in love and sex is the initial attraction of how we look.
    People that are genuine don't compliment you so you'll feel better about yourself that's ridiculous, they compliment you to show how they feel about how you look, everyone has an opinion it doesn't mean they're trying to make you feel better about yourself because of low self esteem.
    I also agree it's great to be complimented on our accomplishments, but I disagree with just about everything else you wrote.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Girls
    13

Recommended Questions

Loading...