Here’s a simple statement: Most girl’s Im attracted to do not smoke, when a girl smokes, it is a turn off.
here's another statement: Most women I’m attracted to are white, that is to say the color of a girl’s skin affects how I’m attracted to her.
These two statements are more or less the same thing. I constantly hear from black woman “You don’t like me because you’re racist”, and I think to myself “I don’t like you because you said what you said”.
I want to get one thing straight: Racism, or the study of behavior between races(whatever you want to call that), is a very complicated subject matter, and if we want to be true to the idea of different races, racism is an innate aspect of our biology. There are two ways that the word “racism” is used:
The first is the unequal treatment, or unfair treatment of people based solely off of color.
The second is the difference in social customs, behavior, and attitudes towards members of other races.
The first definition occurs in someone who is simply immature, insensitive, and selfish. The second one is inescapable. We view people in comparison to ourselves. We use ourselves as a metric system to understand others, and when we see people who are very similar to us, in mind and body, we are at ease, because we are familiar with those characteristics and so we become comfortable, unafraid of those things.
It is apart of our innate biology that we get along with people who are similar to us. But learning to develope trust with others different than you takes time, because in order for you to appreciate someone very different from you, you need to be more like them and find little things that you can relate with.
This is is the fundamental problem with racism; most people do not generally understand the underlying mechanisms behind their behavior, and dehumanizing someone makes it easier to insult them and call them racist.
I’ll give a few examples of the ideas I’m trying to get across.
I did not grow up in a black community, or in a white community. I lived in Belgium for the first three years of my life, and I have little to no memory of my time there, but what I do remember are my next six years in Japan.
For six years I lived on military bases all around Japan, my neighbors were either white kids or Asian kids. I occasionally had a black friend here and there, but nothing signficant. I didn’t have any Hispanic friends either, that was just the environment in which our “house” was(we didn’t get to choose where we lived, we were assigned a place to live I believe). For six years I went to public Japanese schools, all of my friends there were Japanese.
Flash forward to my time in America, I prefer the Japanese people over the Americans that I met in my teenage years. Why? Because I grew up with Japanese, it was the first culture that I really adopted that was imprinted on me. It’s basic psychology really. My mother was turkish and my father was American, I wasn’t purely of European descent.
Truth is, I grew up with little to no friends once I was in America. Because the sort of people that I lived weren’t with me, and this was a completely strange new place.
I guarantee you if a child lived there whole life without knowing its own skin color or race, it would realize what race it truly belong to by simply gauging how they acted and were reacted to from other people.
So, back to the original topic.
Why am I not attracted to 99% of black women? Because I don’t have a feeling of desire to be with them, not physically at least. It’s as simple as that, I’m not saying I wouldn’t date a black woman, I’m just saying she’d have to be very different from the most that I had met.