Girls say that looks don't matter?

[chopper]

Why do girls say that looks don't matter when they really do?

[Hartley]

1) For the same reasons guys say looks don't matter (to our faces)

2) For the same reasons we say size doesn't matter (guys usually assume their size is "wrong", then they lose confidence, thereby making them uninteresting.)

3) Girls are too nice as a rule, and want to spare your feelings.

4) Women's bodies have a fairly well-defined "hot"-template (decent-sized boobs, smallish waist, firm but supple butt, full and well-sculpted lips... you get the picture). However, all the girls I know have radically different tastes in men. Some lust after ultra-skinny, others need a buffed body, and some even insist on paunchy! Then you have individual fetishes... I'm a big fan of perfect, white teeth. Most other girls don't care about teeth nearly as much... they each have different fetishes.

Each girl's picture of gorgeous is SO different from the other's, that virtually any reasonably-kempt guy is hot to *someone*. And because of that, no one girl can judge you as being hot to everyone, thus her not outright saying you're ugly. Because to someone else, you probably aren't.

(What are your teeth like, by the way...? ;-) LOL)

[ararune555]

1) 99,5% of men will tell you that looks matter, because they do, i don't know where you're finding these men
2) I've witnessed way too many female conversations where they mock the guy's "size"
(it's not in our heads)
3) There is nothing nice about lying and deceiving someone who might otherwise do something to improve his position, your reasons aren't all that noble as you make them out to be, a lot of women just like the attention they get, and i've had plenty of women admit this to me
4) This is so far the biggest bullshit, you don't have radically different tastes, 99,5% of women prefer tall and muscular men, there's not a woman alive who would prefer my short and skinny ass. Ohh you're a big fan of perfect white teeth? What a surprise, so are other 90% of the people.

Women are masters of avoiding the point and bullshitting. I could make the same story as you, every girl is hot to *someone* xoxo lol omg. You're no different then men, you're just deceptive and hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

Because they want to seem nicer. I'm going to be honest, sometimes looks really don't matter. But at some points they really do.. Like when you are out with friends and a guy.. he is like a trophy. And if he isn't amazing it seems like you can't get anything better. But when guys are at a private place like your home on the couch with nobody else.. you seem to find them a lot more attractive and that kind of thing because you are with them alone and nobody else matters. It's the same with guys.. you never WANT looks to matter but no matter what.. they ALWAYS do. ;)

[yogi91]

While you have a point there, I don't see why that thing should bother you. You are the one fucking the dude, not someone else :).

My ex girlfriend wasn't much of a looker from someone else's point of view but to me she was the most beautiful girl in the world... do you think that anyone gave a damn about who I was dating as long as she wasn't either dumb or a bitch?

[ararune555]

So, let me get this straight, you're blaming your friends? So there are two ways to go about it, either you're full of shit, or you need to find better friends.
Well, can you get better? Why would it seem that way if you didn't think this way?
You tried so hard not to appear shallow, but you've only showed that you're both shallow and hypocritical, so i applaud you.
You're basically saying that looks matter to you because they matter to others, have you no spine?

[Reeses-pieces777]

I think I feel the same way; I have to admit I do care about how I look and the least a guy I'm with could do is, well, care. It's not like I spend 3 hours in the morning making my hair nice, but seriously, it's a pain looking good and yes, I want my guy to look good too. ;*)

I would say it because I consider other traits over weight looks, and honestly that's my opinion, looks do come second for me. If I say it, it does matter but what I mean is, it's not the primary factor that I will assess when I'm with a guy I like ;*)

[Anonymous]

Because women are lying manipulative bitches plain and simple. At least guys are open about their shallowness. Women say all this BS about personality when that is so not true. I know many women who are married to jerks just because there hot and they don't want him to leave even if he beats her or gets drunk every night. Sure there are women who are different. But the attractive ones are the ones like this. And average guys and girls just get what's leftover. Or if your lucky your'e rich and some gold digger might like you, but gold diggers are usually sluts, so you might get an STD.

[ararune555]

What's funny is that they make it out to be for noble reasons, when in fact they're just using the guy for attention when she has some sort of drama, a few women actually admitted this to me, so at least hats off for honesty.
They always play the bullshit personality card, yet there's not a lack of women who are in abusive relationships. So how the fuck are you going to go about convincing me that it's the personality that is keeping those women around?

[amandat94132]

They are trying to talk themselves into someone they don't really want, they are lying to themselves and everyone At a deeper level, they really do care about looks , to appear agreeable to their female peers they will say looks don't matter I have gotten critized for saying looks matter to me and I never cared what they think , I'm my own person, what matters to me is what matters Then they said I'm shallow , what is really shallow is a gold digger, they will be with anyone for money, I find that shallow

Men really know and have radar for women that say looks don't matter, they know these women are not being honest Also the nonesense about women being less visual is complete nonesense and no one believed that until John Gray started to write those self help books which brainwashed many I was growing up back in the 1980's , we were more honest with ourselves, more individualistic , we thought for ourselves

[SweetestSinxxx]

the girls who say they don't matter when they do are ones who don't want to look like bitches in front of someone. It's just a way of saving face. They wanna appear as being these great people who don't judge anyone. But we all judge and are judged and it's just a way of life. If you're ugly, just work on your body and you'll be considered hot.

[ararune555]

You won't be considered hot, there's no way around being short for example. But your comment is refreshing, you're one of the rare ones that's not bullshitting, and for that i applaud you.

[Eartha]

I've dated hot looking guys because I'm pretty good looking myself and I am a doctor so getting guys is pretty easy. But I finally fell for this scrubby nerd. He is far from good looking but he's the cutest thing to me. The reason I like him is his amazing personality.. he often jokingly says "Oh so you're after my personality, huh?" ..Love him.

[noricat]

Hope for us yet!

Personally I can feel a bit sore after a long night out where I just ain't clicking with any girls, but then I remember the countless times I've seen guys who TBH I wouldn't date if I was a chick with some really gorgeous or interesting girls and I take solace in the fact that if he can then anyone can. This is proof right here, some chicks really are more than just looks obsessed. :)

[ararune555]

@noricat LOL, she's not beyond basic biology. How the fuck can someone say "he is far from good looking" and "cutest to me" in the same sentence? Either she find him physically attractive, or she doesn't. She should make up her mind and settle on what she's arguing.

[amaze12]

A) don't even pretend it doesn't matter to you men.

B) Because yes, although the primary attraction to someone is physical, in the end it's not what really matters. I've known dudes who are amazingly handsome, and then others who are not. The funny thing is...the hot ones typically have no personality, and the average ones will make you fall off your chair laughing. After a while, you just wanna be with the one who makes you laugh.

[ararune555]

A) What man pretends that it doesn't matter? Honestly, i've never come across a guy who indicated in any way that looks aren't very important.

B) Same old tiring female bullshit, if you're not going to get a date because of your looks, i'd say it's pretty fucking important. Everyone has a personality, you're talking nonsense. The most attractive people usually have worse ones, they don't develop intellectually because they've skated through their whole life based on their looks, and the reason for that is that they can and this does pass, which is a proof that looks are so fucking important, otherwise they would've developed more appealing personalities.

[voltage]

We don't want to sound shallow by saying we care but looks are pretty much your whole first impression and first impressions usually last a long time.

[ararune555]

But why do women ALWAYS have to say shit like "at first" or "first impression"?
If looks matter at first, they always matter. Why can't you say without reserve that you place high value on looks the way that men say it?
Most men won't date a fat woman, some will because they can't get any better. The same goes for women and height and many other factors actually. If someone doesn't get a chance with you because of the way they look, then it's pretty fucking important, most important actually.

[musicrocks44452]

we may initially want to go out with the "hot guy," but if he has a bad personality we won't stay interested

[ararune555]

A number of abusive relationships beg to differ. What does initially mean? Until you no longer have a choice, in other words, when you're 30+ and can't afford to be picky anymore?

[Anonymous]

It does, and muscles , and dick size. I guess they think it makes them shallow

[ladythugnasty]

Just to make you happy.