Hair extensions, My boyfriend hates them but my natural hair is unattractive?

[Anonymous]

Yes I’m black.

My hair is thick but it doesn’t grow in length so I said screw it and got some nice hair extensions. They were so nice everyone thought my hair was real. I looked way more attractive, I took more selfies and I was also working out a lot so my confidence grew, that’s when my boyfriend first noticed me. He thought my hair was real, I was too embarrassed to talk about my natural hair cause I hate it so much and it DOES NOT GROW and if I went the long route to grow it I swear it will take over 3 years to get to an attractive length. He would sneak his hand in my hair to feel my clip ins while i sleep and keeps making small comments about how his hair is nice and why a girl should go natural. I get it, he hates hair extensions and I bet it’s a turn off to find out just like every other black girl my hair isn’t beautiful.

I’m not wearing extensions now but I swear I feel so ugly and unconfident and my attractiveness is low despite going to the gym every other day.

I don't know what to do, I want to buy more hair but I feel like itl turn him away.
I can't help my hair is shit, I’m just trying to help myself.

[Dinklex3]

Honestly, maybe he's not for you. Do what makes YOU feel happy.
Have you thought of finding out why your hair doesn't grow?
Is it because of breakage?
My hair starts breaking off if I don't take vitamins. Once I take them I hardly have breakage ever.
So ginger oil, vitamins, and castor oil really help with me.
Also did you straighten your hair a lot?
I was losing a ton of hair last year due to stress so i went to a dermatologist because i was afraid i had alopecia. Turns out it was because i was iron deficient AND stressed. Once i took iron my hair grew like crazy. But you know what my dermatologist told me?
He said i had a healthy scalp with no scarring.
& He said i was lucky because it was common for black females to have scarring on their scalp.
He LITERALLY called it "hot comb alopecia". Apparently when someone straightens their hair a lot trying to get to "the root" the burns can cause scarring. Which can result in hair loss or hair not growing or whatever.
Thankfully for me I just went to school with my hair nappy or braided.
So i think itd be beneficial to find out why it won't grow so you can address it!

[leahzrc]

People should understand the texture of black hair and the reasons why woman choose to do what they want with it. If he judges you for the extensions, make him feel stupid for not understanding because it's just the way your hair is along with billions of other people. If you dont like it and he doesn't like it, there is always a different way to style your hair and if you like it and he doesn't screw him and if you dont like it and he does screw him lol

[Anonymous]

3a to 4c hair is really attractive when it gets long. You could just focus on growing yours out. I'm sure your boyfriend would love that you're doing that, and support you on the journey. Sure it takes time, but it'll be really worth it in the end. I don't like being deceived with extensions. I get that they help with confidence and I have no problem with them as a temporary measure. But I don't think they should be used if the girl has no intention of ever growing her hair.

[Anonymous]

That’s common for black women , if he is black he should already know that, my ex wife was black and had the same issue, she still uses weaves and extensions to this day, it’s too much care to even try to grow it out because breaks so easy

[Asker]

It breaks quicker than it grows I hate being black lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah unfortunately it’s something you have to deal with just like I’m losing hair on top because I’m a guy 😊

[nerms123]

He’s being kind of a dick. Like it’s your hair