My boyfriend doesn't like my hair braided? what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Im in a interracial relationship, my boyfriend is Caucasian and i am African American .. when me and him first got together I've always wore my real short edgy hair cut or straight weave. And now im trying to grown my hair out so i got Senegalese Twist ( if you dont know what they look like google it ) and my boyfriend went ballistic... He said he likes it way better when its straight and he doesn't like it.. He also asked me when i was taking them down and i felt completely horrible after he said that... He made it seem as though im not beautiful to him anymore.. But everyone else likes them and i get a lot of compliments on them. I just feel like he's with me for the wrong reasons if he thinks my hair dictates who i am... I just dont understand how he could say he loves black girls but can't accept the conditions black girls come with.. What should i do? I feel so hurt by him saying that

Updates

+1 y

No problem ! THANK YOU so much '!!! Your words defiantly made me feel so much better i will defiantly consider everything you said ! I had to screen shot what you wrote because it was so good lol

[σαςReverie]

Uhhhmmm if he's a good boyfriend and he's in it for more than your looks then he'll get over it. Sweetie, you are a grown a** woman and you can do whatever the f*ck you want with your look. If you want to try braids then you shouldn't be stopped because your boyfriend wants to voice his shallow superficiality. You gotta be strong, confident, and not let anyone ESPCIALLY A MAN make you question your worth. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and the art as well as craftsmanship... or craftswomanship... that went into your hair is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Your hair compliments the earthy features of your face. Those braids are a symbol of rich ancestry and that is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Straight hair is not an organic part of your genetic make-up and it's really f*cked up for him to make you feel like you look better pretending to be something you're not.
I know it hurts, but please just find it in yourself to see your high worth and beauty outside of his pitifully Eurocentric beauty whitewashed mind. Just because he can't think outside of his skull doesn't make you any less beautiful girl! Honestly, I'd dump his a** and go find someone who can appreciate me in all forms, not belittle me when my hair isn't straight! He's an a**. Dump him, block him, delete him from everywhere, and don't speak to him for at least 2 weeks. If he really cares, he'll come back and apologize for being a d*ck

[σαςReverie]

Thanks for MH : )
Stay strong and come back to this post if you have a moment of insecurity

[Asker]

o problem ! THANK YOU so much '!!! Your words defiantly made me feel so much better i will defiantly consider everything you said ! I had to screen shot what you wrote because it was so good lol

[σαςReverie]

Awwwwh, I'm really glad it helped : )
Seriously, a real relationship is not about being accepted for how your hair looks. Your man should accept you if you are walking around looking like Crazy Eyes from 'Orange is the New Black'. If a guy is suggesting you are less than desirable because of hair, then that's probably an indication that he's a superficial, shallow mate who will only be able to satisfy you so much emotionally and mentally.
The best guys you can find do not say sh*t like that. They don't respond to you that way. His actions are so wrong and I think you should leave his a**. by the way, Senegalese twists are beautiful

[Dog19]

Lol he sounds like my parents. I have natural kinky hair and I don't have a problem with it in public, my parents hate it though and always wants me to have long straight fake hair. Ya know, maybe you should get a different boyfriend because he's going to hate how you look without makeup or weave and he'll probably breakup with you soon

[aamy811]

This is one of the hardest things I've had with interracial relationship, an that's not them not understanding cultural things. especially curl rural beauty things.
Most white guys do want you to have straight or slightly wavy hair and when you change it they typically don't understand it or like it. And they don't get why you won't just I out and straighten it everyday. It's really hard because they really just don't understand
I really suggest you explain that it's your body and you can do why you want. And that it's a convenient style because not everyone in the world has perfectly bone straight hair. Explain that to him and if he continues to freak dump him. Don't crore someone who won't accept you

[linkywinky]

My friend cut her hair really short - we're talkin' miley cyrus short - and her boyfriend said he wasn't gonna have sex with her until it grew out.

He definitely didn't win that argument.

[MrBubbles]

Whereas I'll say that every culture comes with their own features, you're not defined at all by your hair-style. If he doesn't like it, you have 3 options. 1, wear it how he likes it and learn to live with it. 2, wear it how YOU like it and he learns to live it. Or 3, leave him and find a new guy who won't "go ballistic" over something stupid like a hairstyle.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I understand what he's feeling because I'm not attracted to that either. Everyone's entitled to his opinion and preferences. No one is pressuring you to date anyone, so it's hypocritical of you to pressure him to accept something to which he's not attracted.

[LeAsiaAnn22]

Hi, I just want to say I am going through the same exact thing right now. He keeps saying it’s makes him itchy and he doesn’t like them. He basically wants to see me with the exact same hairstyles your talking about. It caused major stress on me to the point I lost myself. I’m very glad I came on here and saw this post and know that I wasn’t the only one going through this. Seeing everyone’s replies to this post made me feel 100% better and they are right. Don’t let anyone even him tell you what you can and cannot do to your hair. It’s your hair and like me I express myself through my hairstyles especially braids. Braids make me feel powerful haha <3

[CHARismatic110]

It's a hairstyle for goodness sake. It's no need for him to go apeshit. Girls change their hair all the time. He's your boyfriend, not your parent. He's entitled to his opinion on it but he doesn't have to be a dick about it.

[badger25]

tell him to deal with it. or break up.(he better learn to deal with it because it would be stupid to break up over a hair style)

[pr3ttybr0wn]

you are dating a white guy. dont be surprised that he prefers the straight hair look instead of something more ethnic

[Anonymous]

He should he trying to make you happy if he is being mean or only cares about your looks dump him. U deverse a guy u loves you for u not what u look like

[Militarybrat9787]

i get what you mean my boyfriend doesn't like my hair up either and if you like your hair up put it in a braid once a week or twice