Why do most men prefer to marry and have kids with unattractive women?

this is what I have noticed a lot. all my friends from high school who are unattractive are married or have lots of kids. all the nice looking ones? not so much. I know I know you guys are going to say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or "not everything is about looks" and I KNOW, but I want to know why men prefer to settle down with less attractive women? you guys are prob going to say "WELL THEY ARE PROBABLY NICE AND NOT MEAN LIKE PRETTY GIRLS" not the case. most unattractive women I know who are married are very mean, for example my boyfriend's cousin is married to a very mean woman. she cuts him down, smacks their kid and she's only 2 and treats her husband like garbage. he had a chance to be with a very nice girl who is very pretty and he rejected her for his now wife. I don't get it. I can see if you meet someone and you don't care what they look like and they are the sweetest woman on earth, but idk...it's like men don't care if they are treated badly. its almost like they would prefer to marry an unatractive mean woman over a pretty nice one. also I have noticed most men like to settle down with less attractive women and like to date the pretty ones. why is this? when I was big and didn't care for myself and went out looking haggard I had no problem with guys wanting to commit and had been proposed to. now that I care for myself and lost weight and look nice (still the same person on the inside! I'm still nice!) guys just wanna date me is there a reason why guys are like this?


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  • Here is the truth. Guys that are average and below know their chances of getting a girl is slim. Its hard for a regular guy to get a girl. They'll start settling a lot faster than a hotter guy. A hotter guy knows he can get other girls so he messes around a lot more. Hotter guys tend to not want deeper relationships. If they do have one, it will be hard for them to commit knowing they still have potential. If the guy has always been hot then he will mess around a lot and not settle with a girl as much. If a guy was once really overweight and is now real hot after working out a lot then its possible his mind is still in the fat suit mode so he might be willing to settle much easier than a guy that was hot from the start. It all depends on the guy also. If a hot guy had a lot of bad luck with girls just wanting him for his body then eventually he will want a serious relationship with real love. It just takes time for the hotter guys to settle down. It all comes down to options. Same thing applies to girls. I know tons of people that were hot and got really overweight and now want to settle. Only because they got less attractive that they now decided to settle down. They know their chances of getting a guy or a girl is harder so their standards lower every week or month that passes by. Eventually some people will take anyone. A lot of guys and girls say its the personality but in reality in the real world its more like the looks gets you the door open while the personality keeps the girl or guy with you. I wish it wasn't like that but that's just how the world works these days.

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    • Guys that are hotter that end up with a lesser attractive girl are ones that use to be overweight usually then worked out a lot. Still have that mind set that they are still the same overweight person in the mind. This can happen to hot guys also. Some hot guys get burned out from hot girls not really liking them for real or acting fake. Just liking them for their body and not giving them emotional love. The perfect girl for a guy is a nice sweet caring hot girl. Not many have both though.

    • I used to wear glasses until my pre-teens. I wore contacts for 10 yrs, and felt attractive. Two years ago, my ex stopped noticing me; stared at every girl around us. He was the guy who was overweight who still sees himself that way. He needed them to look at him to feel good. He made the gym his priority, and didn't realize I loved him the way he was. I started dumbing down my look, left my glasses on, wore casual and baggy clothes because I was tired of being looked at by everyone besides him.

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What Guys Said 21

  • From what I noticed with my friends were that they said that was the best they could get and/or didn't have the confidence to get what they really wanted so they settled for average. That's why I will never settle for average who said that I can't have beautiful women as my wife.

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  • Maybe they have other qualities besides conventional beauty, that men find more than adequate to compensate.

    Characteristics that suit them well to motherhood;

    Make a stable home life likely;

    Ethical, religious, psychological, temperamental and sexual compatibility;

    Intelligence and sense of humor;

    Loyalty, honesty, integrity;

    Perhaps they're tired of dealing with high-maintenance, shallow women.

    Love, maybe?

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    • i guess being a mean ugly girl is the way to go then...

    • Works pretty well for Rosie O'Donnell.

      Probably not the best strategy if you want to attract a member of the opposite gender.

  • I would never marry a woman who I thought was unattractive, why settle when I know I can get a more attractive woman? Now my girlfriend is smoking hot, and we get along great, would I marry her just because she is hot, no but it did play a big part in me wanting to date her.

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  • average women are less picky and more likely to make a good mom while a hot chick is working all the muscles in town are in party mode for years

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    • but I am a fantastic mother, and am over partying. I want to get married I'm getting old, but I'm not willing to make myself unattractive. do you think there is any guys out there who would like to be with a hot woman and marry one?

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    • haha I'm perfect for you and in arizona. And a massage therapist lol jk. Stick with it and you'll find a good guy

    • Maybe because they don't wanna raise someone else's kid!

  • The same reason for beautiful women to marry unattractive women maybe I will marry unattractive women because I hate beautiful women

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    • So if you met a beautiful woman who adored you and was in love with you and treated you like a king, ud hate her?

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    • Good for you but that only one goodlooking couple? any?

    • I have something similar. I want a beautiful woman to be my wife but I don't think I will get one :-/ Because stealth50k has said the truth that these days getting a partner depends on your looks.

  • Maybe ... Just maybe they love them? Who would have thunk

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    • why would someone want to love someone who is mean and ugly on the inside?

    • Real love is accepting the person for their flaws. We might see those women screaming in the street, but the men may like their women feisty, that puts them in their place. Certain men like women to yell at them and baby them like their mothers. Those men are too in love to let those women go.

  • Yeah, I don't think that's the case. Guys will choose nice and hot over unpleasant and unattractive 100 times out of 100. But there are two things to consider. First, life is rarely that clear in the characterstics of people. Most everyone is a mixed bag of all kinds of positive and negative traits. Second, you don't always have the CHOICE to pick the nice hot girl. There are only so many of them to go around. So why aren't THEY married, while some of their uglier, unpleasant sisters are? Because the hot nice girl has OPTIONS. She can be pretty choosey. She doesn't have to settle for the first guy to come her way and often she doesn't.

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    • That's because nice attractive girls want nice attractive guys. If everyone would learn to just be patient God can send both people what they want. I'm a beautiful sweet girl, who prefers handsome nice guys and I'm not about to settle for the opposite. It's not just about the girl being attractive and nice, the guy has to be those things as well. God will see to it that those two people find each other at the right time.

    • Yes Georgia, if you read what I wrote, you'll see the point where I said hot nice girls have OPTIONS. That means they can be choosey. Which of course means she can opt for nice and hot in a guy or hot and rich or nice hot and rich, or whatever she's going for.

  • i have to call you on your question, not arguing, just sayin, most guys that look for that beautiful girl, to marry, have kids with, won't ever be interested in the guy looking for her. she always looks for something better. sadly realizing later she's lost her chance. so.. the guy settles for less but in the end lives 90% of the time, happy and married to awomen most other women wouldn't find attractive at all or men. but inside he loves her, and thinks she's attractive,. I will admit, it is also the thing of the "ugly" ones, and that's strong to say, but yea, in societies eyes, the ugly ones are easier, and the pretty hot sexy beautiful ones are harder,..

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  • I know what you are talking about. Beats me.

    LOL I hope I do not end up like that.

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  • Frankly, most attractive women have issues tagged on. They usually hit a relationship that they adore and value, just to find out that their partner only wanted them for their looks or wanted someone else. These women get torn and become delusional, protective, defensive, etc. No guy wants to be with that. And no, this doesn't account for all attractive women.

    Other times most men don't feel like they are deserving. Which is just flawed thinking as beauty is more of a luck of the die rather then something achieved.

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What Girls Said 18

  • ITS NOT WHATS ON THE OUTSIDE ITS WHATS ON THE IN..WHEN YOU START TO KNOW SOMEONE YOU COULD BECOME ATTRACTED TO THEIR PERSONAILTY

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    • did you even read the question?

    • yes I red the question. I'm saying just because you might not find them attractive don't mean he does.! its not all about looks anyone.

  • Maybe you should get your head out of your ass and accept it seriously bitching about it ain't going to get you anywhere sister jealous makes people very ugly

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    • why did this post make you so angry? hit too close to home?

    • You wish ;) It made me angry because you sound like a stuck up cow who needs a big reality check and a big old kick up the ass xd

  • Beauty is NOT skin deep, whilst I'm not unattractive, I don't have that oh yea I know I'm HOT attitude a lot of attractive women do.

    I once read something that said this about men and why they chose the average women they do for life partners.

    A) they want to be the only one to truly admire their bride

    B) average girls are less work

    C) they can cook, and will be more likely to do that than worry about their nails

    D) they will do adventurous things outdoorsy things and not care about their hair make up and nails

    E) they don't need constant admiration they are confident and happy as they are

    F) less inhibition sexually, they are mentally able to let go and not have thoughts of 'oh I hope my breasts look good this way, what's he thinking of my arse right now?' running through their heads

    G) they are better homemakers because they don't require expensive clothes, jewellery, accessories, constant visits to hair dressers and nail technicians and beauticians- so for your average earning man she's going to cost him less in the long run.

    H) they have no snobbish behaviours and won't turn their nose up at his mates, they are able to be one of the boys.

    Beautiful women get married all the time too, but women are less willing to admit how shallow we really are too.

    And perhaps yours cousins partner makes him happy and loved and his previous girlfriend didn't?

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  • well yes am attractive hot sexy I got more than 6 marriage proposal but I didn't wanted looking for better I have more option damn am afraid I will end up alone with no husband.my friend she is lol not attractive at all got married with the first marriage proposal she got DO it OR die that's the quotation of unatractive girls they agreed to marry with the first person they couldn't even believe it lol

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  • Its the power of love :)

    I think it's just a coincidence because it's all about your fate and if you are destined to be with this person, you would. You don't intentionally love a person, love just happens ;)

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    • Uhhh, so if you're destined to be with an evil, ugly witch, you're stuck with it.

  • Because they don't care about what's on the outside they care about how that person makes him happy. its all about what's on the inside that counts.

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    • if that was true then men would't push away the pretty girls most of the time...and they wouldn't settle down with a woman who is abusive emotionally who is not attractive just because he wants an unattractive woman.

  • It's really weird,my uncle married a fat ugly woman with an ugly personality.I don't get why too:(

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    • Some women were nice in the beginning but get real mean and controlling after they feel insecure about themselves later when letting themselves go. Most miserable women are the ones that envy other girls beauty. They then take out their anger on the guy. Bullies are usually insecure in some type of fashion.

    • Yep, kinda like the QA

    • i don't envy anyone's beauty I am completely 100% happy with my appearance. I was always bullied when I was younger because I was overweight and was beat up. so I got in shape and started taking very good care of myself. I just feel like men only want unattractive women and would never want to marry a pretty woman. yes I am miserable but I'm not a bully, I am the one who is bullied. I feel like I need to just gain weight then I'll finally get married. I really do hate myself.

  • I've always thought it's because attractive girls are more likely to be more picky, whereas ugly women will marry the first guy to come along.

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  • What I said before about insecure, cheaters and coward men was only a simple description of one very known type of men who respond to the traits I wrote but it doesn't mean that they're all are like that ! Some of them just have a very weak character cause they were castrated in their young age by their parents or so, so they just choose to be around the woman who treat them bad and order them to do things just because they got used to be treated badly and don't think they deserve to be treated nicely ! This can explain why they let go a beautiful nice woman and get married to an ugly bad one ! Thinking that a beautiful and nice woman is too much for them and they'll most likely loose her quickly, so being afraid of not succeeding in the marriage, they opt for the more secure option , which is getting married to the ugly bad woman !

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    • Yep, he figures if the ugly girl is harsh, the pretty girl must be hell.

  • that's a good question. I have good looks and people say I have great personality and inner beauty. (others say it, no myself k..) but I been through a few bad apples. like 2. but I haven't found anyone who will commit to me yet which is frustrating as heck. it might be that I won't settle for less and as I am getting older, the options are somewhat thinning out, I'm not that old but I guess like someone said already, if they know they can fool around and not commit, they'll do that till they're ugly and older and finally settle down for less or anyone willing to put up with them.

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